What is your relationship status?
Quite happily married. 6 years now, 2.5 year 1,500 mile courtship prior.
2nd marriage for both of us, both previous marriages were disasters.
Since we've been married, we've been apart for exactly 9 days in the past 6 years and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Not even remotely co-dependent... just very much in love with each other, with a nice big dose of social anxiety disorder for her and AS/etc for me, so we're totally fine with being hermits.
To those single and looking, I wish you the best of luck and hope you find your, if the term's not too saccharine, soulmate soon.
Beautiful to hear (read )
Additional emotion rant:
It turns out I'm much more easily manipulated than I thought, what I thought was truth and honesty, was her telling me "I love you" and 3 hours later telling me I'm annoying, and boring, and repetetive, and egotistical, and wasting her time..
The next day its back to "I love you" so I say calmly "do you realise last night you laughed at me as I was having a breakdown, you realised I was upset, insulted me about 10 times, then hung up"
She actually claims she doesn't even know what she did, which I find absolutely ridiculous, its obvious I've been played as a total fool.
Can't believe what I saw as a secure and growing relationship was actually the means for a narcissist to build me up and smash me down again, feeding off my pain again..
So... new status, single, and not looking for a while, I'm sick of attracting only the kind of women that abuse the s**t out of me simply to see me lose it..
It may sound like I'm prejudice or ignoring the possibility that she's doing it by accident, but to laugh at someone when you know they're in serious pain is disgusting, something is seriously wrong with her.
Turns out I'm very easy to manipulate, if someone says they love me, I find it impossible to believe that could be anything but entirely the truth... It sounds stupid, but this has happened over 10 times, each time I entirely blamed myself for "over-reacting" or "misunderstanding"
Whats to misunderstand about someone that claims they love you, laughs at your pain, then tells you to f**k off when you ask them the question "so what does this actually mean?"
f**k it makes me so angry at myself for being so stupid, for being so naive.
So yeh, what I thought to be a beautiful relationship in the works, was in reality her building up my trust and confidence, and waiting till I showed a weakness, to throw in every insult she could. Unfortunately I shared my weaknesses with her, I shared what hurts me most, thinking EVERY caring human being would therefore respect these things if they say they are in love, but its obvious I just gave her the ammo to aim better.
The moral of the story, be careful of narcissistic pain feeders!
_________________
All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!
Last edited by Scintillate on 26 Oct 2006, 12:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
Single and looking. I've never been in a long term relationship before. I'm a little more confident in finding a date as I have discovered sites like this. At first I was looking for NTs, but I have read quite a few horror stories about AS-NT relationships, which kinda put me off looking for NT's, so I'm looking for an aspie female.
CanyonWind
Veteran
Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,656
Location: West of the Great Divide
Here's a description of my relationship status:
OK, that's it.
_________________
They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina
Its all gone, yet I still hate that I can't even tell whether she's concious of what shes doing to me or not..
If someone laughs when they know you well, know you're in serious pain, that is sadistic isnt it?
If the next day they claim they were "out of sorts" but every time you get close to them this happens, do you think it means they have serious issues?
I don't just mean the laughing, I mean as soon as she saw a weakness, as soon as I had that security I needed (she knows it well) she told me how boring, arrogant, stupid, and pathetic I am...
The next day she says she was oblivious to what it was doing to me, though at the time I was begging her to simply tell me the truth, whether she even likes me or not..
Its hard for me to feel I deserve anything better, but things like this kill me for days at a time (she also knows this!)..
I have this sick feeling in my gut that says she has to hurt me to feel anything at all, but I'm finding it hard to know for sure, in fact after such an ordeal, its hard for me to believe in myself at all...
I know I know, someone makes you feel worthless, you gotta end it, its just for the past 2-3 weeks its been absolutely wonderful, with one or two minor hiccups, and then suddenly apparently I'm a boring, arrogant, horrible trap.
f**k!
_________________
All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!
Well she fit say... most of the symptoms of NPD, but what struck me later on..
Was she fit EVERY SINGLE symptom of borderline personality disorder..
"A commonly used mnemonic to remember the features of the borderline personality disorder is PRAISE:
* P - Paranoid ideas
* R - Relationship instability
* A - Angry outbursts, affective instability, abandonment fears
* I - Impulsive behaviour, identity disturbance
* S - Suicidal behaviour
* E - Emptiness
"
(from wikipedia)
Yup, every single one fits her exactly, she accuses me of sleeping with her friends, everytime we're comfortable together and I start to feel secure she loses the plot, she seems to be terrified I don't actually like her yet explodes in anger sometimes when everything seems fine, she definately has problems with identity, each day she becomes someone else yet the similarity is she never knows who the hell she is at all. Suicidal behaviour, yup. And emptiness is a big yep.
So.. she fits the entire description, I've suggested it to her lightly, tried to get her to share this with her shrink, but she honestly believes nothing is wrong with her, she actually called me today (after abusing me and laughing while I broke down then hanging up last night) and when I asked bout last night she didn't even think she'd done anything wrong!! !
That is ridiculous, how can someone be oblivious to horrible words and actions, I truly don't understand it, they werent subtle by any means. I truly think she is stuck in two places, one of them idolises me, one of them despises me, so I'm constantly thrown between the two.
What I thought was lies, was more likely her side that adores me..
It stems from childhood abuse, so I can't hold it against her, but do you think its best if I leave her be? Its seriously killing me how every few days I'm told so many horrible things about myself, just as I open myself up to her.
Though I've already forgiven her, I'm getting worse by the day, in terms of its making me really depressed, and I don't even have any energy to do anything I'm focused on, which is tearing me apart.
I don't have a clue what to do, maybe just give her some time and space.
_________________
All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!
single and open to a relationship
_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social
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