Inter-racial dating Issues

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Does anyone else date someone outside their race? If so, how do you handle the extra attention? I find that when I am out and about with my guy, people stare at us. Being on the spectrum, I find this particularly annoying. I don't like attracting attention, and there have been a few times when I nearly melted down.

I date someone with a different background and different color skin. They are still human. I don't think of it as a different race. For the two of us it has not been an issue.

Where do you live? A small town perhaps? There are over 2 million people here. No one gives us a second look... except to check us out because we are a good looking sporty couple.

I can't help but stare a bit, maybe that's like a lot of people. I don't think they mean any harm, its different and that makes people curious. To me, its so cool when people of all colors can get together. I'm the product of a mixed marriage and someone with dark hair and fair skin I see as exotic. My mom only talked about one incident when we had just moved into a house in NC. She had bought the house alone and when we all showed up later someone came over and told my mom they don't allow mixed marriages in the state. My mom said "Why don't you tell my husband that?" The guy looked at my dad, who is 6'3", and went back to his house and we heard nothing else from anybody.

Last year I had a summer thing with a gal I met online. She really liked me, and I had no problem she was Mexican. Had we actually met in person though, I would have worried how some family members would have taken it.

But, she had things happen in her life and then later met a guy back in San Diego (her hometown). As for me, I'm with whatever race as long as they're the right gal for me.

I used to date a black man. A stranger called me a "mudfish" while we were walking down the street once. He ran away before I could give him an earful.

As for people just staring, ignore them--if their lives are so dull and uninteresting that they don't have anything better to do, pity them.

Last edited by Cuterebra on 28 Jun 2010, 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't know for you but for me, I'm of the human race

So we could speak about religions, cultures, states and countries, colors of skin and so on and so forth but besides that, I've only dated in my own kind - if you really want to know.

Sure, but I think the thread is about 'issues'. i.e. will people stare, swear, burn down your house etc.

The main thing I'd be worried about is all the societal baggage that comes with, say, a black/white relationship, and that baggage becoming an issue between me and her. I'm white, btw. I don't date black women because of all the social baggage that comes with that particular type of relationship. This is a particularly American thing, rooted in centuries of prejudice; if I was in the UK I think it would be less of an issue. I think if everybody was able to look at it as two human beings who love each other, it wouldn't be a problem, but I don't see that happening in the US in my lifetime.

I find that white/Latina relationships are a lot more accepted, as are white/Asian relationships. Most Asian women have a very slender, petite body type that is less attractive to me, so I find fewer Asians that I would be willing to go out with, but I'd be willing to date an Asian who had a little more full body type. I find Amerasians/Eurasians (half white, half Asian) attractive, and they tend to have body types that I'm more attracted to.

With white/black relationships, I find that white women who date black men tend to stay within communities with a large number of blacks, since whiter communities still don't like the idea. A lot of blacks have trouble with white male/black female relationships where they don't if it's a black male and a white female. The white/black dynamic is specifically American, other countries have less of a problem.

Thank you, BigK! That is exactly what this thread is about.

I am not exactly new to this type of scenario, growing up with parents of 2 different races. This was late 1960's, and people got all shocked when I went places with my mother, or my parents appeared in public together.

BTW, zena4, I am fully aware that everyone is of the human race, but lots of people out there haven't come to realize this yet. I chose to use the term inter-racial as the most current descriptive one for my topic.

I wonder why people tend to focus on skin color as the problematic inter-racail relationships. I dare say you could have issues when any mixed culture group clashes in a relationship example: Japanese & Korean or Palestinian & Isreali or even Canadian & French Canadian. Heck, I even worked with a Chinese-American guy who was involve in a nasty divorce with his Mainland Chinese wife because they didn't mesh culturally.

I apologize, I was a little bit shocked and picky on the words.

They don't exist. I probably wouldn't marry a Muslim or a devout Catholic though. Or a religious fundamentalist.

I guess it depends upon where you live and what kind of people you're around.

I dated an asian guy once. At first I was a bit naive about it, the staring. Didn't take me long till we were in a company of "friends". Some of them were making stupid jokes about us but not to be intentionally mean just funny. We both had to go along with it like yeah that's real funny...hahaha..

I'm not sure how you handle these things. Not everyone who is staring may be racist in the stereotypical sense you see in media or the south. Human beings are just naturally inclined to reacting toward things that may not seem "typical" or somewhat out of the ordinary. But again, I think it depends on your surroundings of culture and people. Cuba and Brazil I think are good examples where it isn't uncommon to see people of the melting pot date or hang out together.

Apology accepted! FYI, I hate the term "inter-racial." I keep wishing it weren't even necessary to have terms like that.

Good point! I guess that people focus on the most highly visible physical differences.