I need some advice

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There is a girl at work I really like. She and I have worked there for about two years. We are good friends by this point. We share a lot of things in common, we have similar values, we have a good laugh together. Both of us feel slightly out of place in Gen Y and feel we belong to another era.

But I'm not entirely sure if she feels the same way as I do for her. I am a hopeless fool when it comes to romance, and I don't understand the signs. She comes and chats to me at lunchtime, about non-work-related things. She touches my arm a lot. Then again, she may just be a touchy feely type of person in general. Should I read any more into it?

She works in a different department to me, so it can be hard to get any time to speak to her alone. She works in rostering, so my other colleagues think I am only hanging around her to get the inside gossip about the project. But that is not true. I told her today 'I like you, for you'. I just came out and said it. I've never had a GF or anything resembling one before, so this was a big step for me. I've never told anyone I like them before. Fortunately, she then said 'it's mutual'. So I've established that there is a mutual caring there. I am not wasting my time pursuing her. But is she meaning she cares for me as a friend? Or something more? I can't tell. Curse my Aspergers.

Hmm, its hard to tell. She does seem like a caring sort of person. Do you take the same lunch breaks? Perhaps you could suggest going to a cafe for a coffee?

Man I wish I could tell you what to do, but cannot read females at all. I was in a similar situation, asked the girl to see a comedy show took her to dinner and was going to ask her to be my gf. Unfortunately I didn't realize she was texting her secret BF and yeah it was awkward when he just showed up. I freaked out inside but didn't show it on the outside. Went home and had a meltdown. Now I'm just saying this happened to me, the girl you are fond of seems very fond of you, plus the girl i liked was very shallow and drank alot which is the opposite of me. In the end it all works out I'm with my current GF -who also has AS- and she's the greatest.

Yeah, I see her a lot at lunchtimes. It's the only time I have the time to get in a decent conversation with her. She does at least, yes, seem to care about me in some way. So that's a start. I'm halfway there. Taking the next step is the thing I am nervous about. Don't want to ruin it, so I'll take things nice and slow.

Well, it has been two years....eventually you're just going to have to rip off the band-aid and ask her to spend some time with you outside of work. None of us can tell you if she likes you as a friend, or as something more - she's the only one who has that answer.

I think the best thing you can do is prepare your response if she declines: assure her that you value her friendship and want to remain friends.

You'll never get anywhere worrying about ruining something. What if an artist was afraid to ruin a canvas? They'd never paint.

What you gotta do is quit worrying about ruining things and start enjoying them. Yes things will go downhill eventually whether it's when you're married for 10 years and she refuses to do anything with you or whether it's the first real date but you aren't ever going to really "live" if you are afraid to face those consequences.

Get better at doing your work and becoming indispensable. With money comes love(or a reasonable facsimile) .Women are replaceable. You are not.

I prefer not to bang coworkers just because of the blowback risks and ultimately I care more about my financial wellbeing than so called "love".

That's a fairly cynical attitude, isn't it? Money is important, yes, but to me it cannot be a replacement for love. You'd be a pretty lonely guy if you had all the money and possessions in the world, but nobody in your life to share it with.

You're a virgin aren't you?

Not cynical just realistic.

How do you even define love? Love to me is something that costs $30,000 in lawyer's fees if she loses interest and gets bored from you caring too much about her or it could be a delusion that makes your idiot father take out loans in your name to keep his selfish fat c**t of a wife (mommy dearest) in the lifestyle she feels entitled to.

Simple truth is that the best thing a relationship offers can be easily purchased for $200-$250 and you won't have to deal with endless wasted hours in the bars or going on dates.

Well, i'll have to take your word for that. Nor do I go to bars, or on dates. Not my scene.

If you don't go on dates, then how are you ever going to be with someone? A date is when you go out to a place with someone, a date can even be them coming to your place. You eventually have to date them.

As an Aspie, social scenarios are extremely daunting for me. I guess its a fear I'll have to learn to overcome. I am usually OK with a small group of people. But I hate large crowds.

Sex or a fun dating experience can always be bought too...

This is a very strong sign that she's interested, as is her 'it's mutual' comment.

I was paying special attention to all the signs she was displaying today. I am pretty sure she likes me now. Unless she's just really friendly in general. She speaks nervously to me, touches my arm sometimes, giggles a lot. All classic signs. Oh, and she asked me for coffee today! I didn't even have to do it! I'm pretty dead certain now.

Of course, I don't know what to do next. I have never had a GF before. I am not sure how to continue impressing her.

You have to take it to the next step now. Ask her if she would like to come over to watch a movie with you.