trouble reading between the lines.

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alexa232
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22 Apr 2006, 3:01 pm

I've never been in any kind of romantic relationship, partly beacuse of beeing shy of course, but also I usually have trouble reading other peoples signals and body language. This way, I never detect if someone is interested. I was wondering: Has anyone experienced the same difficulties?



emp
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22 Apr 2006, 5:24 pm

Bah, forget this crap of agonizing over the body language of a person, trying to figure out whether they are interested. Forget the body language, just go up to the person you fancy and simply ask them out on a date, and voila, then you know the answer. I have done this and sometimes the answer is Yes and sometimes it is No, either way it is fine. There is no need to read between the lines, just ASK and be done with it. If it is nerve-wracking to ask, the more times you do it the less nerve-wracking it will become, practice makes perfect.

Do not ask: "Would you like to go see a movie with me on Tuesday?"
Instead ask: "Would you like to go see a movie with me sometime?"

Because if you say a specific date, then some NT's use it as invitation to lie to you saying that they are busy on Tuesday when in reality they do not want to go on a date with you at any time. If you word your question poorly, you will get dishonest answers. If you specify no particular date for the first question, then this prods them into giving you a more honest answer. Altho' in this example, there is still an opportunity for lying, they might say, "Oh I don't really like the movies", so a more foolproof question is:

"Hey I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date sometime?"

And then they are pretty much forced to give an honest answer, yes or no, with no BS like "Oh I am busy on Tuesday" or "Oh I don't like the movies".



emc
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23 Apr 2006, 1:12 am

Guys love it when girls ask them out, it saves them having to do it.

But yes I've had some difficulties, myself, it is confusing, so in the past I've done the asking, then I've felt better as I'd known where I was at with that person. But I'm sick of being the chick who asks the guys, so now I can't be bothered.

Another trick is to say if you have a free voucher or you were thinking of going somewhere yourself, ask "would you like to come, too".



EnglishLulu
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23 Apr 2006, 4:19 am

I watch a television programme called 'Would like to meet', which is broadcast on BBC2 in the UK. It's also shown in the US under the name 'Date Patrol'.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/tv_a ... ndex.shtml

They take a person and look at their dating problems and three experts give them advice: a stylist, someone to boost their confidence, and a body language expert called Tracey Cox.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/expe ... tracey_cox

I've really learned a lot from her sections of the programme, knowing what to look for to see if someone's interested or if they're not really helps.

Here's some basic tips:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sing ... ndex.shtml

If you're living elsewhere and can't see these programmes, then Tracey Cox has also written some books about flirting and stuff. I haven't actually checked out the books, but I've always found the explanations and advice she gives in the programmes really informative and useful.

http://www.traceycox.com/index2.html