Are attractive women usually taken?

Post Reply New Topic

I've sought a girlfriend for two years, yet it has been my experience that almost all the women my age who I find attractive claim to already have boyfriends. Are these women telling the truth, or is pretending to have a boyfriend the current popular way to reject a man's advances?

Yes, it's true, but don't let that stop you. Too many guys write women off because they are "taken" -- trust me, no one is really permanently "taken" unless they're dead, in the best marriage ever, or planning to become a nun.

Lots of guys hear "taken" and think she's somehow locked up forever -- for sure, in the short run, you're probably not going to get anywhere, and that is where too many guys are shortsighted. You need to think long-term.

Long-term thinking -- any woman who is worth anything and not crazy or broken (sorry single ladies, I don't mean you) will have a BF. So you need to get in line -- make friends, don't be too forward, cultivate the friendship without being used, and odds are that when she's done with the current guy and looking for the next, you'll be in line and have a good chance. And don't just do this with one woman, be in line with many. Make sense?

I only wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life. Don't make the same mistake, build your "portfolio."

billsmithglendale's on target here.

Guys I guess can sit it out and wait for someone to come available without looking too 'bad' about it, but girls who do this are seen in a bad light; as "relationship-wreckers". Whether or not they actually do anything to 'wreck' an existing relationship.

And lemme tell ya, I've seen stories in the paper of local girls murdered over the mere suspicion that they wanted another girl's BF.

You have a good point.

Speaking entirely from my personal experience, one can reasonably assume that ALL beautiful women are taken. In fact, I assume that they are as a rule.

I am, however, not above stealing some other man's beautiful woman, and there was a time when I was somewhat maniacal and diabolical about it. Just understand that there is a time and place for that sort of thing.

When I met the young lady that I was to marry later on, she was in a very abusive and unhappy relationship. I was also on the rebound times 2--I'd been engaged to a girl I'd dated for YEARS but broke up with her after coming to terms with the miserable life I had with her; I'd quickly fallen in love with another stunningly beautiful woman who amounted to little more than a golddigger. So my wife and I initially got together when we were both in a really BAD place emotionally and relationally. Stealing her away from her bf should NOT have been so easy as insane as the dude was, but it was well worth the effort.

Later on it came to be that I moved away to go back to school. I made friends with a feisty little redhead who I personally found attractive (if no one else did) and quickly set out to seduce her, despite her being engaged to a guy I'd rather not mess with. It was a fun little affair, however brief. Because she rented a house with her would-be husband, it would not have gone well for her to break up with him, so I decided it best to leave her alone. Turns out they broke up later on for unrelated reasons, but sadly for me I'd scooped up a sweet, innocent freshman by that point. But all things end for the best--the redhead was NOT very well-liked among my friends (for good reason), and I just don't know how well I could take knowing or suspecting people talking about my gf behind my back. It might not have been unlike the girl I ALMOST married a few short years before.

My wife is STILL beautiful, even with the marks and scars of having given birth to two children. Even so, she's still quite a catch, and there's a certain "karma" that goes along with "stealing" women: The risk that someone will do the same thing to you. We've talked about this, of course, and we've both promised to be on guard with our own behavior. It should be clear to anyone that we are "off limits," and if something appears wrong we talk about it

So yeah, ALL beautiful women are taken. "Taken," however, need not necessarily mean "off the market," and "taken" can quickly be converted to "untaken" in most cases. Go have fun, good luck, and be careful.

Get a Facebook. Add them and check out what it says under "relationship status." Unless you know their friends and could find out from them, that is the best and easiest way to know for sure.

Oh, the nonsense I see spouted on here from virgins never ceases to astound me. Go ahead, deny it. Nobody here will be able to tell, since they are, too.

"All beautiful women are taken". Puh-leeze. I suppose you think they're born 'taken'. Maybe it just seems that way because your setting your bar wrong - not too high, but aiming for people (yes - not 'beautiful women' - people) that you have nothing in common with, because you're picking them solely for their appearance. Duh.



Not only is this the most superficial, selfish, despicable, dishonorable attitude a human being could possibly have, at best it will get you arrested for stalking, more likely it will get you your @ss beaten and mutilated and eventually killed. Taken means taken, the same way No means NO. When someone tells you they are already in a relationship, even if they are lying, they're trying to get rid of you - take a hint.

Not ruling out a girl just because she has a boyfriend is one thing. Having multiple prospective partners is something completely different. What does that say about me, if I'm trying to court multiple women at the same time? That would send out signals that i wouldn't be particularly loyal in a relationship... It's all about the impressions, right?

Boy, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, or is your name just "venom"?

You sure do read a lot of your own evil thoughts into pretty innocent and practical advice myself and Angel Rho gave here. Nobody said anything about forcing anyone to do anything. Both of us have practical relationship experience -- You, on the other hand, don't seem to have anything except fear and hate. I wonder why no one likes you? Please piss off.

It says you're a man of practicality and reality who believes in planning ahead, hedging his bets, and not putting all of his eggs in one basket. The friendship stage doesn't commit you or the other person to anything -- no promises are made, no vows broken, you just know each other, and by developing a close friendship, are able to both know if anything should happen between you relationship-wise if "something happens."

And things do happen -- breakups, divorce, death, people growing apart, etc. No relationship lasts forever.

I still see a very naive or rudimentary understanding of human relations here on these boards. No surprise -- it's the Aspie boards, and I'm there with you guys. Not knowing something is not a crime -- however, persisting in a juvenile or immature viewpoint of mature human relations in the face of evidence to the contrary can turn your efforts pretty futile.

In this case, our theory (those of us who dispense advice on this topic) is probably pretty close to reality. Don't believe us? Go out and find out for yourself.

Oh gawd they are not taken. I'm good looking and I get a lot of attention from good looking women. They are obviously not taken.

No I'm not one of those guys, I assure you. I can't date a dumb-cheerleader-stereotype so most of them never go beyond a chat or a first date at most. They end up intimidated by me just as much as I end up dismayed by the empty space in their skull. A recurring problem for me...

Anyway my current girlfriend is very pretty and wicked-smart. This may last more than a month...

Most of the time they just have a crush and it will be over within 3 months.
They will tell each other I will love you forever and other BS but that will be gone pretty quick.

A great quote and a great way to go into things. Having this mental attitude braces for the inevitable and in fact lays a better groundwork for you to eventually get that woman (if there is a chance at all).

For those that need this explained:

Most naive guys go around in a pretty self-centered state. They see a pretty girl or attractive woman, and think "gee she's pretty, I wonder if she's single?"

They then spend the time between seeing her and finding out her relationship status fantasizing about her being single, thinking of her as the golden opportunity, making plans, thinking how great it will be, etc.

Then they have that conversation with her where she finally mentions "my boyfriend" or "my husband," etc.

Don't you think she sees that little change in your face as your heart and dreams crumble? Don't you think she sees your face fall just that little bit (even though you try to hide it) and thinks to herself, "Yep, just another creep who doesn't care about me as a friend now that he knows he can't get into my pants tonight."

In reality, it was you who were being selfish. Did you think you were the only one who ever thought she was pretty or worth it? Don't you think someone else had the idea before you?

And really, if it was really just a matter of timing, how special are you?

So that's what you have to prove -- be a good friend, be interested in the PERSON first, and show how special you are. This doesn't guarantee you anything, but it sure does boost your chances when the woman sees you aren't surprised, disappointed, or threatened at all by her already being involved. Heck, it doesn't mean that much to you either way, and that's what makes her want to prove you wrong.

One of my odder experiences was seeing that look on another woman's face. She saw the ring on my finger and asked if it was a wedding ring. I said yes it was. She said, "to a man?". I said yes. Then there was that look you are talking about.

(for those puzzled by this exchange, sometimes gay women exchange rings that are a stand-in for wedding rings where it is not legal)

You seem to have this attitude that being physically attracted to a woman and wanting to start a relationship with her is wrong. I don't agree. Yes, personality rather than looks is the reason to keep a woman once a relationship has been started. However, I see nothing wrong with physical desire initiating the relationship---in fact, I think it's a prerequisite for romance. Without any physical attraction between you and her, you might as well just be friends.