The autism social rule book.

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Always approach first an unknown person who is older than you at a gathering to introduce yourself and if you are sitting, always stand up for a handshake

If it is clear to you that a friend or family member is in a toxic or potentially abusive relationship, avoid confronting them directly. Doing so will likely push them away. These situations are nuanced, and sometimes all you can do is gently express concern and remind them that you are there to support them. If your not certain on how to express this kind of concern, ask for help from someone knowledgeable and trustworthy.

I don't know if anyone already put this, but people love it when you compliment their tattoos, or ask about them, it's a great conversation starter that I just discovered. It's one of the few physical features you're allowed to comment on, so I thought I'd mention it.
Also, if you struggle with starting conversations, I find it helpful to ask a different question to every person like I'm taking a poll or list some interesting facts I wrote on my arm. It really helps with making friends because they think of you as interesting person who always has something to talk about.

The thread is so long...the rule is that perhaps there are no rules for us.

Of course we should learn social skills.

But for this there should be early diagnoses (in Italy they are given to very young children), but then they are missing in adult age of competent tutors).

Ask a loved one who you trust absolutely to give us an account of our possible social mistakes. And ask how we can remedy them.

An essential point is that we will certainly make mistakes.

In summary: we will not It's the mistake that causes damage, but not understanding what the mistake is, because we don't communicate like neurotypicals do.

*Important: in some things we will never succeed. In others, however, we certainly have enormous margins for improvement.

Another important thing it's not distorting ourselves to look like them. I accompanied a person on a fast train.

I just spent 1 hour making mistakes in finding the way back home.

I had the satellite navigator with me!

I returned home and I made a mistake interaction with an unknown person.

I entered the house and washed a glass: yet another one that I break involuntarily. I KNOW that I will certainly always make some of these mistakes. Others, however, I will be able to correct. The sense of urban orientation is possible for example. Even if if you almost always get it wrong, you will find a way. While 9 out of ten social interactions, I will always get it wrong. And the glass will be the millionth one I have broken. The important thing is not to get demoralized.

One piece of advice, if I can give it, is to write down the information on a piece of paper. Things to do. us. So it's only the preponderant number of Neurotypicals that create discomfort for us.


Not their social skills.


They simply don't care about how we are.

The answers vary from... you've seen it, right? Or: if I can, you can too !Ok then: do we have a quality in which we excel? Let's let them try if they also succeed in that specific skill. I think it will be difficult for them to succeed. I see many ND people who write that they regret being born ND.

Apart from the fact that we couldn't choose. And it's genetic. For example, I'm like this: nd. I would never want to be NT, it's fine as I am. I have a good degree of social compromise.

I've earned every millimeter of what I've obtained. But in my own way. If I don't have the theory of mind ... I get over it.

One thing I did exactly. Remember exactly the sequential numbers of a train ticket including the assigned seat and the carriage.

In addition to the train number. The person (NT) was the train was also wrong (identical direction). But it led to another station.

I wasn't wrong. Strengths, but ours are not "their strengths to copy". We would be even stranger if we did (I think eh!)

If a conversation has become awkward, try to smile and laugh about it. That will diffuse tension and can keep conversations going, at your discretion. It's masking, but you can build up a tolerance to it over time.

It's ok to take a day to step back from socialising when you're deflated now and then, but in my experience don't let it go past a day or there's a possibility of becoming comfortable being a hermit and the longer you are away the harder it is then to go back to masking when you might need to.

Did we get to Rule #303?

If you have the means at hand, you have the responsibility to act - be proud and free enough to confidently rebuke those who seek to minimise you

#304. When someone tells you to "Say that again!" and they're angry at you, DON'T SAY IT AGAIN.
I know this one seems obvious, but I keep doing it anyway. Like, what else am I supposed to say?!
Either way, doing this in this scenario will only end poorly.

Also, when someone asks a question out loud in public and you don't know them (ex. where is that? why does this always happen to me?)
Don't answer it, even if you know the answer. They weren't talking to you and that counts as a rhetorical question.
Idk why but knowing stuff comes off as creepy.

Exception: if they seem really distressed and you have information you know will help.

Always respect people's private information.

I remember standing behind a guy at an ATM. He was entering his code and got mad at me because I was standing way too close to him.

I was also standing next to a teacher because I wanted to ask her something. I didn't notice her notebook, with all the students' grades, was laying on the table, and I could see it from where I stood. Fortunately she didn't get angry.

Always be careful when you ask questions.

Neurotypicals are annoyed by stupid questions, and they also get annoyed by questions that require complex answers, unless they are expert on the subject.

Don't follow your friends everywhere they go unless you absolutely have to.