Potentially complicated situation?

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MagicMike
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24 Apr 2006, 11:15 pm

Originally I had difficulty coming to the concept of this as I have this mental block against liking girls who have boyfriends; here at college I notice that the college girls I end up liking usually end up having boyfriends so I went to the even more extreme measure of trying not to emotionally like a girl, instead distancing myself and being overly formal save with a few friends. So here's the story, the one I've mentioned sometime ago.

At college, I've met at least 2 or 3 girls I would like, yet the moment I hear they have boyfriends, I lose interest in them for I don't want unneccessary conflict. Then I meet another girl who I end up liking AFTER I learn she has a boyfriend. She's really cute, we share common interest base, get along great, she's inviting me to cosplay with her group at an anime convention this summer (she'll likely be cosplaying Winry Rockbell ^_^), etc. Unfortunately I've fallen for this girl. However, a previous girl I liked then says she knows I like this girl and then says "I told her you like her; she's pretending not to know." Unfortunately, I snapl, tackle her and ask "you're joking right," to which she responds "I'm joking, I'm joking, get off me. (I get off) You still like her." So I'm worried I screwed things up a lot.

Here is where I ask what to do as I doubt professing to the entire campus I love this girl would help things out at all. She is getting along great with her current boyfriend which makes me feel horrible for liking her/wanting to "steal her" so to speak yet I've become attracted to her on an emotional level. The situation has me beating myself up for liking her and for basically going nuts. Even if there is no extrordinary sequence of events by which we end up together, I don't want to scare her away from me as she's a great friend if all else fails.



techstepgenr8tion
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25 Apr 2006, 12:56 am

I dunno, it seems we guys have more moral qualms about this kind of thing than women do. If the guy's cool personally I'd feel bad, if he was a jerk I might not feel as bad but I'd realize that I'd need to throw down pretty soon, possibly with 4 of his friends behind him - almost makes me wonder if a lot don't think a guy's worth they're while unless he'd lose a few teeth to get her...


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emp
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25 Apr 2006, 1:39 am

techstepgenr8tion -- Are you... are you actually... you are! You are suggesting fisticuffs as a method to transfer the affection of this girl ?!



MagicMike
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25 Apr 2006, 7:38 am

A duel it shall be then between both of us, with the honorable Sir Bludington as my second! Good day!

Seriously though, he's apparently not a jerk which is why I feel morally bankrupt for wanting to be with her.



techstepgenr8tion
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25 Apr 2006, 8:55 am

emp wrote:
techstepgenr8tion -- Are you... are you actually... you are! You are suggesting fisticuffs as a method to transfer the affection of this girl ?!


Well, the more I think about it, if society really thinks that personal ethics and cowardice as interchangable maybe they don't really deserve better. Lol, if your already ahead of me in that department though what can I say, I guess your just a much stronger person than I am :lol:


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techstepgenr8tion
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25 Apr 2006, 1:01 pm

Mike, here's what I really think for your situation - if she's actually a quality woman and the guy who's with her is a quality guy, just suck it up, let it pass, and look in other directions. If she was the kind of girl who actually got a thrill over the idea of guys fighting over her and entertained it she's small at best, seriously twisted at worst, and either way you'd be in hell as long as you were with her (at least after the first month once it got real) - far worse if you married her and even worse than that if she had your kid. If that were the case it might be hard to even feel bad about banging and leaving but then again trying to teach someone like that a hard-learned life lesson probably wouldn't even be worth it.

Doesn't sound like your in one of those scenareos though. You can at least be a passing guy friend, stay in touch in an innocuous way, then again keep your distance enough to where you don't tell her much about what's going on and keep her wondering. Otherwise its gonna be a mess and if you care about your integrety you'd have problems looking yourself in the mirror - going without isn't nearly as bad in that case as feeling ill about yourself. There's lots of women out there though and just remember, to get that interested in one without actually without having the relationship first is a bit of an injustice to yourself - especially with the way that kind of thing tends to work.


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"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privelege of owning yourself" - Rudyard Kipling