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Soledad
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14 Jul 2010, 9:52 pm

In my summer program I've met some new acquaintances. I got 2 of their numbers. One was a guy and the other was a girl. When I texted the guy he didn't reply and I texted him twice, that was last week. The girl I texted today once and she didnt reply. I am not planning on ever texting her again unless she replies, because I saw what happened with the guy. I asked her how her engineering field trip was and I got no response.

I'm not going to knock these people's doors down to get an answer anymore that's why I text them once and I never do it again. and I',m not going to ask why they dont reply. Now the guy obviously ignored my message because that was such while ago. But the girl, she can be busy doing stuff, or she may be asleep, idk. I'll just wait.


what should I do if the girl does the same thing as the guy? because I'm sock of being ignored. I just wanna chose whatever I can do to not have a meltdown or break my phone, and if that means deleting her number, I will. Or maybe I should delete it until she replies, that way I wont feel tempted to text her anymore. idk



Apera
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14 Jul 2010, 11:12 pm

Probably best to just let it go. Some of these people get multiple texts in short durations, and yours could easily become buried. Or maybe they plan to answer through different means.

If this is not the case, you could always ask if they got your text. Personally, IF this happened to me multiple times, involving the same person, I'd politely let them know that I'm aware I'm being ignored.


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criss
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15 Jul 2010, 2:35 am

I understand well this anxiety.

However, the wise thing to do
is to practice ways of letting go.

I struggle too.

For example, I can be having a very
deep connection with someone here
on WP or wherever, and then they just
disappear, and not get back.

I find this rude, and rejecting, but
I have learned that the greater pain
lies in the attachment and not the
rejection.

I wish you well

Chris


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Soledad
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15 Jul 2010, 8:43 am

Well it's morning now and she still hasn't replied. I deleted her number out of my phonebook and outbox. Therefore if she replies, I'll get her number back. If she doesn't (a most likely she won't), I won't feel tempted to text her. Also, I'm gonna ignore her if she tries to say something to me in person, unless it's about how she got my message or the context of the message. Otherwise, I'm just gonna act like she doesn't even exist. Heck I might just run her over walking BECAUSE SHE'S NOT THERE!!



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15 Jul 2010, 11:43 am

Soledad wrote:
Well it's morning now and she still hasn't replied. I deleted her number out of my phonebook and outbox. Therefore if she replies, I'll get her number back. If she doesn't (a most likely she won't), I won't feel tempted to text her. Also, I'm gonna ignore her if she tries to say something to me in person, unless it's about how she got my message or the context of the message. Otherwise, I'm just gonna act like she doesn't even exist. Heck I might just run her over walking BECAUSE SHE'S NOT THERE!!


deleting her number so you dont keep texting her seems like a good idea but ignoring her in person because of a text sounds abit harsh? there could be lots of reasons she didnt reply, and it probably seems like a bigger deal to you because youd already been ignored by the guy recently and were still abit annoyed at that



Soledad
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15 Jul 2010, 1:15 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
Soledad wrote:
Well it's morning now and she still hasn't replied. I deleted her number out of my phonebook and outbox. Therefore if she replies, I'll get her number back. If she doesn't (a most likely she won't), I won't feel tempted to text her. Also, I'm gonna ignore her if she tries to say something to me in person, unless it's about how she got my message or the context of the message. Otherwise, I'm just gonna act like she doesn't even exist. Heck I might just run her over walking BECAUSE SHE'S NOT THERE!!


deleting her number so you dont keep texting her seems like a good idea but ignoring her in person because of a text sounds abit harsh? there could be lots of reasons she didnt reply, and it probably seems like a bigger deal to you because youd already been ignored by the guy recently and were still abit annoyed at that


See you are saying that the guy did in fact "ignore" me, so what makes you think there are other reasons that the girl didn't text back besides her not wanting to text me period.



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15 Jul 2010, 1:26 pm

you text the guy twice and a week has passed, and you only text the girl once and it was yesterday. there could be lots of reasons for someone not replying- things going on in their personal life or they could be really busy with something and have just forgotten. dont take it too personally. the same could be said for the guy too- i was just saying that the fact that itd just happened with him aswell probably made you more annoyed at the girl



Soledad
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15 Jul 2010, 1:36 pm

OneStepBeyond wrote:
you text the guy twice and a week has passed, and you only text the girl once and it was yesterday. there could be lots of reasons for someone not replying- things going on in their personal life or they could be really busy with something and have just forgotten. dont take it too personally. the same could be said for the guy too- i was just saying that the fact that itd just happened with him aswell probably made you more annoyed at the girl


Yea you're right. and I'm also annoyed because other people have been ignoring my messages as well. So all of this added together upsets me. My only contacts in my phone are my mom, dad, 2 brothers, and uncle. I don't have anyone else. and I only text one of my brothers, and my uncle sometimes. This is because everyone else just ignores my messages. My old friend Adam ignored them, Dominic ignored them, and girls always ignore my messages, it's so frustrating. Family are the only people who respond to me,



OneStepBeyond
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15 Jul 2010, 2:22 pm

well, erm, what kind of messages do you send them?



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15 Jul 2010, 2:28 pm

I would let it go.
Take care,
Agnieszka


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rmgh
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15 Jul 2010, 3:17 pm

People are b*st*rds. No, that's not the right thing to say, although I often find myself thinking this. This is a common problem and it's because we are not saying the right things, simply. If you know the right thing to say, you'll always get an immediate reply. It's the same with emails, instant messaging, website private messages, social networking sites etc etc etc. I wish I was growing up before all this technology. People always say to me that it was worse before the technology because you could not change a meeting time at the last minute etc etc. But, people never reply to me, tell me they will be late and so on, so what's the point in it?



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15 Jul 2010, 8:04 pm

This is the only reason I don't like texting. She could have just not gotten the text. Or she could say she didn't get it when she did. I know that when my girlfriend's phone goes out of the service area, she won't get my texts until at most 30 mins after she gets back in service.

So you can delete her number or do whatever you have to do. If you do respond to text her, wait until the next day and just politely ask if she had gotten your last text. If she doesn't respond to that one I'd just forget about her.



Soledad
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15 Jul 2010, 9:42 pm

jdcnosse wrote:
This is the only reason I don't like texting. She could have just not gotten the text. Or she could say she didn't get it when she did. I know that when my girlfriend's phone goes out of the service area, she won't get my texts until at most 30 mins after she gets back in service.

So you can delete her number or do whatever you have to do. If you do respond to text her, wait until the next day and just politely ask if she had gotten your last text. If she doesn't respond to that one I'd just forget about her.


Nah, I'm just gonna forget about her all together. She got the message, this isn't the early 2000s anymore where your message sometimes doesn't go through. and I didn't see her today because I tested in a different room. I will see her tomorrow but I won't acknowledge her. There are too many other problems and great things in life to be trying to get someone to put as much effort into a relationship as you, even if the relationship is just being an acquaintance. I've been through this a million times with people, and they are ignoring my messages. My oldest brother doesnt respond to any messages from anyone or pick up his phone. so when he occasionally texts me, I don't respond, I ignore it. I open it, read it, and delete it. Why? because he never responds to me. I'm not busy, I'm not tired, i just don't wanna respond to him, because he ignores me. People can make time for people, and when they don't wanna make that time, then the time I use for them can be spared for other things. F her, I'm not ever talking to her again or texting her, or asking her a question I already know the answer to "did you get my text". It's like asking someone who got hit by a car if they hurt. There is more to college and life than trying to force people to put effort into things.



rmgh
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16 Jul 2010, 3:34 am

Soledad wrote:
this isn't the early 2000s anymore where your message sometimes doesn't go through.

I don't remember that.



ayra
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24 Jul 2010, 4:57 pm

Texting people gives them more opportunity to ignore you. I personally will text someone and repeat if they don't get it soon. Then I quit, 'cause obviously they don't think that I'm important enough for them to converse with me.

When people text me, I'll look at it and if its a forward I'll ignore it, but if its a "what's up?" I'll respond, but I never can keep it going for a long time. I try, but it just doesn't happen. If they or I are complaining, I usually stop because that ruins my day as I am easily upset.


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thepatriot5000
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25 Jul 2010, 1:33 am

rmgh wrote:
People are b*st*rds. No, that's not the right thing to say, although I often find myself thinking this. This is a common problem and it's because we are not saying the right things, simply. If you know the right thing to say, you'll always get an immediate reply. It's the same with emails, instant messaging, website private messages, social networking sites etc etc etc. I wish I was growing up before all this technology. People always say to me that it was worse before the technology because you could not change a meeting time at the last minute etc etc. But, people never reply to me, tell me they will be late and so on, so what's the point in it?


I agree. I find that when I text peers, I don't get responses for a long time. I don't know if it's the fact that they don't respect me, the fact they don't have time for me (goes back to respect) or family issues. I will admit, I have a hard time letting go and just letting people go. And I want to try and be better socially, like not be "popular" or anything, but be okay with everyone. It makes it really difficult when people I want to connect with annoy me...