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Joined: 3 Feb 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,395
Location: Ohio, USA

29 Apr 2006, 5:52 am

I have read a lot of posts here about how people are so frustrated at not being accepted by NTs, or not belonging to a group, or being misunderstood, or not being able to find a date, or being left out of things...

It seems to me that I do not have this problem; not because I belong, but because I'm happy not belonging. Happy on my own.

I'm wondering if there are others like me here; people who prefer to communicate in order to share ideas rather than to connect with others (which is typical Aspie) and who also do not mind that people seem to reject them...

I had some bullying growing up; in the fifth grade especially; but about halfway through the fifth grade I decided I did not want or need to be accepted by NTs, because their company was simply boring. Books--both books of information and books of stories--became my best companions; they are being slowly replaced by Internet forums these days (forums are more interactive; I currently frequent something like fifteen of them).

I have some friends--for the first time in my life--but frankly, I could take them or leave them. I would risk my life to pull them out of a burning building; but I would do that for any member of the human race. And I spend perhaps five hours a week with them, at most.

I'm not sure if this will cause me trouble later on; I have learned to communicate (tone of voice, facial expression, colloquial speech) well enough to be understood, though I will never be popular (and do not wish to be).

It seems the human race does not look favorably on those who wish to be alone... It took me a long while to think of the word "solitude" as a positive description of aloneness... does anyone else know a word that would describe this content-at-being-alone state better (I especially need a word which can be used as an adjective)...

Are there others like me? Or are most Aspies stressed/annoyed/disappointed at being "loners"?

Reports from a Resident Alien:

Autism Memorial:


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Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 21,295
Location: Right behind you...

29 Apr 2006, 5:56 am

Well, I do, myself. But paradoxically, I do not want to be alone. Rather more specifically, I only want to meet people on my own terms (and am fustrated when this almost always doesn't happen). Does this make sense to you?

Oh yeah, and do not give up reading in exchange for forums. If I want interactivity, I'd play a game or a DVD.

Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 80

29 Apr 2006, 8:23 am

I'm quite comfortable being by myself. Scratch that, I'm very comfortable being by myself. 8)
My only concern is how others view people who are comfortable with solitude.
I'm on my way to raise a house near a lake in the central parts of Sweden. It's located on an island along with ten other houses, thus you have to cross a bridge to get there. The bridge isn't built for cars, so the entire area is calm and quiet.
If all goes as planned, I will be able to work from home in a few years, about the time my house will be finished. That will be quite ultimate.

I get upset easily over ordinary day things. Graffiti on the walls, garbage on the sidewalk, smashed glass at the bus stop ...
I know I would feel better if I just "let the little things go", but I feel I have the right. Walls aren't built to be drawn on, garbage goes in the trash cans, and who the hell smashes windows anyway?
To be in a place where these things have no chance of happening I feel would be quite relaxing. Unless I start to get upset about even smaller things 8O

Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 25 Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 247

29 Apr 2006, 8:28 am

I can do without friends just fine. But I'd love to find a girlfriend.