Does this happen to anybody else?

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Yesterday I had an episode…I can’t call it a blackout because I was still somewhat conscious. (Brown-out?)

I was awake and aware of my existence but just barely. I’ve slipped into this semi-fugue state several times in my life-usually when I am burned out by repetitive stimulation, but sometimes I achieve the same feeling when I travel and look at something new.

It’s not really pleasurable, or painful. It’s just sort of numb. Try to imagine losing all sense of yourself except a tiny little part that still remembers that you exist and are separate from your environment.

You are poised there, as if on the edge of a million-foot wave, and with a tiny bit of effort, you can stay there and ride the energy of it for as long as you like. Reality keeps trying to pull you back, but you shake it off and keep riding.

Or think of yourself holding on to the awareness of your existence as if gravity has been revoked and you are hanging upside-down, clutching a single blade of grass, all that is keeping you from hurtling into space and becoming one with The Infinite. It’s like that.

These states come upon me without warning, and I’m really worried that it’s insanity or dementia.

When I’m in that state, time slows way down and my sense of touch becomes heightened-tactile information floods in, almost to the point of being unbearable.

Last edited by My_Tallest on 02 Aug 2010, 8:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I found that so hard to read. Please indent.

happens to me some times.

IDK. Sometimes I feel like that but it's from YEARS of not sleeping well. It also sounds like depersonalization which can be caused by a number of factors. Do you have a seizure disorder?

It could be body freezes due to a movement disorder

I indented it, but I don't think it helped much. If it is hard to read, imagine how hard it is to go through. I wrote it in a sort of stream-of-consciousness feel without worrying about grammar, etc.

Sleep paralysis?

Once in a great while I will have a sudden spasm-sort of feels like when you get the chills, but more forceful. Doesn't last more than a second. Starts in my head and goes down my spine. Seems to be connected to pleasure/pain although sometimes it is random.

Depersonalization-that sounds like a thing I have felt. I'll look into that. Thanks.

I get that as well, but no. This is something different. Sleep paralysis is terrifying and I have to fight it. This almost feels good, but dangerous, like I'm swimming in the deep end before going into a coma. Or enlightenment. Can't decide which it is.

I will look into that as well. Thanks.

I've experienced this but in the context of trauma. It wasn't a wave so much as a huge dark place where I was very small and far away from everything in a different time and place sort of. There was a tiny thread of identity and that was about it. It was fairly neutral in terms of emotion and my mother's screams (she was trying to get me to come back) were barely whispers on the horizon. I heard them and decided I would go to her, and that's how the episode ended.

Then there was one long episode that lasted two weeks as a teenager but I have no memory of it at all. I just lost the two weeks completely. It was like had been snuffed out and then I woke up at the end of the two weeks.

There are times, that I experience the same thing. I'll be sleeping and than I feel that my entire body is paralyzed. I also don't know where I am, because I can't see anything. I try to scream out, but nothing comes out of my mouth. It usually happens, when I'm stressed out about something. It used to happen, a lot more often, before I moved out.