Have you ever been wrongly accused of sexual harassment?

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JohnisBlind
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09 Aug 2010, 8:50 am

Have you ever been wrongly accused of sexual harassment?

It seems like all one has to do is flirt and have that flirting taken the wrong way to be accused of sexual harassment.



Last edited by JohnisBlind on 09 Aug 2010, 10:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

Erisad
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09 Aug 2010, 8:54 am

Nope. That's because I'm a girl and it's not harassment because men like it. Jk :lol:



deadeyexx
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09 Aug 2010, 9:03 am

Nope. It's actually pretty difficult to get a claim like that to stick. Either you'd have to be dumb enough do be sexual where there are specific rules not to be (like work), or be really overbearing with plenty of evidence to support it.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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09 Aug 2010, 9:54 am

It occurs both ways. Most workplaces are clunksville, meaning they don't address some of the issues they really should, and at other times they make too big deal over other things.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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09 Aug 2010, 9:58 am

If you're facing such an issue, I very much recommend getting someone, either informally or formally, who can advocate on your behalf. One of the points Herb Cohen made in his book You Can Negotiate Anything (kind of a classic, and from over 20 years ago), is that, on the important issues, it's usually much better to have someone negotiate on your behalf.



silentbob15
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09 Aug 2010, 10:09 am

No, thats because I treat women with respect, and don't come off as a creep or pervert



Laz
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09 Aug 2010, 10:34 am

Have you John?

If you were as a blind man you could just say you were "feeling things out"



JohnisBlind
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09 Aug 2010, 10:36 am

Laz wrote:
Have you John?

If you were as a blind man you could just say you were "feeling things out"


I;ve been accused of "hitting on" somebody when I wasn't.



Northeastern292
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09 Aug 2010, 10:47 am

I sort of have. I commented on a girl's outfit once, and she made it out to be that I was commenting on her chest. Needless to say, she and I don't talk anymore.



League_Girl
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09 Aug 2010, 11:14 am

Not really. I was in 7th grade or eigth when I kept hearing it from these two boys and I didn't even know what it was so it was nothing for me. Then my teacher had to explain it to me. Maybe I did get accused. I don't remember what I was saying to those two boys.


I've been accused of hitting on someone. Someone bullied me online so I bullied him back and he finally went "stop hitting on me it won't work" and I said sarcastically I didn't know making fun of someone was hitting on them. That fella was an idiot anyway or he was just saying that to give me a hard time. Another time someone accused me of hitting on someone here just because I ask this person a few questions but that someone had issues anyway.

I don't think I have ever been accused of sexual harassment when I wasn't doing it.



Lene
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09 Aug 2010, 12:00 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
Have you ever been wrongly accused of sexual harassment?

It seems like all one has to do is flirt
and have that flirting taken the wrong way to be accused of sexual harassment.



Quote:
I;ve been accused of "hitting on" somebody when I wasn't.


If 'all you were doing' was flirting, then you were hitting on them. It's the same thing.



Pistonhead
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09 Aug 2010, 12:02 pm

Erisad wrote:
Nope. That's because I'm a girl and it's not harassment because men like it. Jk :lol:


LOL

Yes, being accused of it is why I won't ever introduce myself to, compliment or anything like that to women.


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Moog
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09 Aug 2010, 12:18 pm

No, I was guilty every time.


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deadeyexx
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09 Aug 2010, 12:33 pm

Pistonhead wrote:
Yes, being accused of it is why I won't ever introduce myself to, compliment or anything like that to women.


This is the kind of responses I was worried about and why I made my earlier post. The fear of a sexual harassment accusation should not deter anyone from approaching or hitting on people you find appealing. The news likes to spread fear and make you think setting foot outside your house puts you in mortal danger. In reality, as long as you're not breaking any written rules, abusing your position of power, or committing assault, you can do what you want. Of course, you can always be rejected, or thought of as a pig, but that's a far cry from any real consequences like having to answer to cops or lawyers.



hale_bopp
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09 Aug 2010, 6:18 pm

Moog wrote:
No, I was guilty every time.


lol.

It also depends where you did it and whether you didn't get the message fast enough. You will have to tell us more about what happened before we can make an opinion.



Pistonhead
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09 Aug 2010, 7:05 pm

deadeyexx wrote:
In reality, as long as you're not breaking any written rules, abusing your position of power, or committing assault, you can do what you want. Of course, you can always be rejected, or thought of as a pig, but that's a far cry from any real consequences like having to answer to cops or lawyers.


I have had to answer to a cop and a guidance counselor though. Charges were filed against me and dropped by the legal system. I was 14 and she was actually the one harassing me, trying to get me to answer the question "Have you ever seen a girl naked before".

I do ask that you not feel too sorry for me in this regard, I'm happy that I put forth almost zero effort into getting women's attention and still manage to get it though not as fast and often as I'd like. It isn't worth my breath to hit on, approach, go after, etc. women.


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