Hello everyone (I just started school)

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Guitar_Girl
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28 Aug 2010, 7:46 am

Hello!
I won't be on here much anymore :( because I started school. I have, in order, German( :D ), Biology( :( ),
English( :) ), and Algebra ( :( )
I like German and English; I don't like Biology and Algebra.
I have some problems (other than my grades)
I say that I barely like anyone in my school, for various reasons. I have very few friends. I feel if I would open up a little more and talk to people, I would have friends in my classes.....
But I'm too judgemental. I don't like a lot of girls just because they wear alot of make up, or how they dress.
I'm also so very shy. I'm afraid to talk to anyone. I'm afraid they will make fun of me if I say something wrong or something they don't like or agree with. This stops me from doing things I want to do. The thing is, I don't know how judgemental everyone else is. I feel so uncomfortable in group work too. I absolutely dread it. I just want to pretend I'm sick and not have to do it. I hate it. Do you have a problem with group work?


On the other hand, I am said to be socially niave AND socially smart; or immature AND mature.
What I mean is (this is the easiest way to put it) (my traits are bolded)

Socially niave

gives in to peer pressure
scared to talk to other people
doesn't "get" social queues
doesn't know when people are being sarcastic or serious
has no clue when they are being manipulated


Socially smart

knows when the crowd is "bad"
knows not to do something stupid
knows what to say to people
knows how to work and get along with people



Anyone have any comments? Are you the same way in anything?
Thanks for any input!
Guitar_Girl



Descartes
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28 Aug 2010, 8:28 am

Guitar_Girl wrote:
Hello!
I won't be on here much anymore :( because I started school. I have, in order, German( :D ), Biology( :( ),
English( :) ), and Algebra ( :( )
I like German and English; I don't like Biology and Algebra.


Language Arts and Social Studies had always been my best subjects in public school. I also remember taking Biology in the 10th grade, and I actually liked it. It was much more interesting than Chemistry and Physics. :wink:

Guitar_Girl wrote:
I have some problems (other than my grades)
I say that I barely like anyone in my school, for various reasons. I have very few friends. I feel if I would open up a little more and talk to people, I would have friends in my classes.....
But I'm too judgemental. I don't like a lot of girls just because they wear alot of make up, or how they dress.
I'm also so very shy. I'm afraid to talk to anyone. I'm afraid they will make fun of me if I say something wrong or something they don't like or agree with. This stops me from doing things I want to do. The thing is, I don't know how judgemental everyone else is.


I can relate, to some extent. I went to a very ghetto high school in the middle of a bad neighborhood, and I remember feeling annoyed by how obnoxiously ghetto many of my classmates were. Nevertheless, I still got along with people, because I was very nice and preferred to avoid conflict with people. I was very shy in school, but it turned out that people actually liked me for being so shy. They also liked me for being so amiable. I didn't have a lot of close friends, but I did have a lot of acquaintances.

Guitar_Girl wrote:
I feel so uncomfortable in group work too. I absolutely dread it. I just want to pretend I'm sick and not have to do it. I hate it. Do you have a problem with group work?


Yes, totally. Most of the time I preferred to work by myself. I liked having total control over my work, and being in groups tends to be a distraction for me anyway.

Guitar_Girl wrote:
On the other hand, I am said to be socially niave AND socially smart; or immature AND mature.
What I mean is (this is the easiest way to put it) (my traits are bolded)

Socially niave

gives in to peer pressure
scared to talk to other people
doesn't "get" social queues
doesn't know when people are being sarcastic or serious
has no clue when they are being manipulated


Socially smart

knows when the crowd is "bad"
knows not to do something stupid
knows what to say to people
knows how to work and get along with people



Anyone have any comments? Are you the same way in anything?
Thanks for any input!
Guitar_Girl


Sometimes, being scared to take part in group activities can be beneficial. You won't get into as much trouble. I may have been socially awkward in high school, but at least I rarely got into any trouble because of it. Social awkwardness can be a blessing in disguise. :wink:



asplint
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28 Aug 2010, 3:17 pm

Hello Guitar_Girl,

First off, I hope your new school year has gotten off to a good start! Are you now in 11th grade?

Congratulations on coming to understand yourself so well! I was more than twice your age before I'd even heard of AS, let alone understood how it affected me and others.

I was extremely judgmental of people for many years, and only recently have I come to understand how it came back to bite me. Of course, there are judgmental people who pounce on the innocent, just as there are pacifists who turn the other cheek. Much more often, people reflect back to you the level of judgmental-ness or "live and let live" you extend to them. Measure for measure, as the saying goes...if you're a hard ass to people, they're much more likely to be a hard ass back to you.

I can definitely relate to getting some levels of social awareness earlier than others. We Aspies have to pick up our social learning wherever we can find it, and it's often not going to be at the same pace, let alone as uniform, as with others in general

Descartes, you have a point: if you don't fall in with the wrong group you're less likely to get into certain kinds of trouble.

Then again, we all need friends, co-workers and neighbors we get along well with and (for most of us) romantic relationships, and social awareness appears to me to be indispensable in getting and keeping them.

What do you think?

Once again, congratulations and good luck Guitar_Girl!


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Descartes
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29 Aug 2010, 2:33 am

asplint wrote:
Descartes, you have a point: if you don't fall in with the wrong group you're less likely to get into certain kinds of trouble.

Then again, we all need friends, co-workers and neighbors we get along well with and (for most of us) romantic relationships, and social awareness appears to me to be indispensable in getting and keeping them.

What do you think?


I understand what you're saying. I'm not trying to imply that being a loner is an all-around good thing. I'm just saying that it has its merits. :wink:



Guitar_Girl
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29 Aug 2010, 6:52 am

Descartes wrote:
Guitar_Girl wrote:
Hello!
I won't be on here much anymore :( because I started school. I have, in order, German( :D ), Biology( :( ),
English( :) ), and Algebra ( :( )
I like German and English; I don't like Biology and Algebra.


Language Arts and Social Studies had always been my best subjects in public school. I also remember taking Biology in the 10th grade, and I actually liked it. It was much more interesting than Chemistry and Physics. :wink:

Guitar_Girl wrote:
I have some problems (other than my grades)
I say that I barely like anyone in my school, for various reasons. I have very few friends. I feel if I would open up a little more and talk to people, I would have friends in my classes.....
But I'm too judgemental. I don't like a lot of girls just because they wear alot of make up, or how they dress.
I'm also so very shy. I'm afraid to talk to anyone. I'm afraid they will make fun of me if I say something wrong or something they don't like or agree with. This stops me from doing things I want to do. The thing is, I don't know how judgemental everyone else is.


I can relate, to some extent. I went to a very ghetto high school in the middle of a bad neighborhood, and I remember feeling annoyed by how obnoxiously ghetto many of my classmates were. Nevertheless, I still got along with people, because I was very nice and preferred to avoid conflict with people. I was very shy in school, but it turned out that people actually liked me for being so shy. They also liked me for being so amiable. I didn't have a lot of close friends, but I did have a lot of acquaintances.

Guitar_Girl wrote:
I feel so uncomfortable in group work too. I absolutely dread it. I just want to pretend I'm sick and not have to do it. I hate it. Do you have a problem with group work?


Yes, totally. Most of the time I preferred to work by myself. I liked having total control over my work, and being in groups tends to be a distraction for me anyway.

Guitar_Girl wrote:
On the other hand, I am said to be socially niave AND socially smart; or immature AND mature.
What I mean is (this is the easiest way to put it) (my traits are bolded)

Socially niave

gives in to peer pressure
scared to talk to other people
doesn't "get" social queues
doesn't know when people are being sarcastic or serious
has no clue when they are being manipulated


Socially smart

knows when the crowd is "bad"
knows not to do something stupid
knows what to say to people
knows how to work and get along with people



Anyone have any comments? Are you the same way in anything?
Thanks for any input!
Guitar_Girl


Sometimes, being scared to take part in group activities can be beneficial. You won't get into as much trouble. I may have been socially awkward in high school, but at least I rarely got into any trouble because of it. Social awkwardness can be a blessing in disguise. :wink:


Hi, Descartes.

I like anything in the Language Arts and Social Studies departments. I'm not a Science person. I hate it.
I don't like Biology, but it's WAY better than Physics (grade 8 ) and Earth Science (grade 9)
I am not a big math person either. Some of it I like, some I love, some I hate. I would say I don't like about half of it... and most is just OK.

It's nice that other kids in your school like you for being shy and amiable. In my school other kids want nothing to do with me. But I also have few close friends and many acquaintances.
I'm so upset at my Bio teacher. He is making us all work in groups. The problem is, many people in that class already make fun of me; I don't need anymore of that. I hate everyone. I can't stand group work.

Thanks for replying

Guitar_Girl



Guitar_Girl
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29 Aug 2010, 7:00 am

asplint wrote:
Hello Guitar_Girl,

First off, I hope your new school year has gotten off to a good start! Are you now in 11th grade?

Congratulations on coming to understand yourself so well! I was more than twice your age before I'd even heard of AS, let alone understood how it affected me and others.

I was extremely judgmental of people for many years, and only recently have I come to understand how it came back to bite me. Of course, there are judgmental people who pounce on the innocent, just as there are pacifists who turn the other cheek. Much more often, people reflect back to you the level of judgmental-ness or "live and let live" you extend to them. Measure for measure, as the saying goes...if you're a hard ass to people, they're much more likely to be a hard ass back to you.

I can definitely relate to getting some levels of social awareness earlier than others. We Aspies have to pick up our social learning wherever we can find it, and it's often not going to be at the same pace, let alone as uniform, as with others in general

Descartes, you have a point: if you don't fall in with the wrong group you're less likely to get into certain kinds of trouble.

Then again, we all need friends, co-workers and neighbors we get along well with and (for most of us) romantic relationships, and social awareness appears to me to be indispensable in getting and keeping them.

What do you think?

Once again, congratulations and good luck Guitar_Girl!


Hello, asplint.

Thanks. I am in the 10th grade. I went to kindergarten for 2 years. They could tell I was going to be a little "behind". I knew about Aspergers for about 5 years. I could tell I was different already in 2nd grade. I didn't fit in right. All the other kids would play and not let me join it, except for my friend, Shana, who moved away :(

In most cases, my judgements were kind of right, I can tell easily who the bullies are and who the picked-on are.
We all need friends; just the right friends.

Thanks for replying

Guitar_Girl



Descartes
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29 Aug 2010, 7:26 am

Guitar_Girl wrote:
Hi, Descartes.

I like anything in the Language Arts and Social Studies departments. I'm not a Science person. I hate it.
I don't like Biology, but it's WAY better than Physics (grade 8 ) and Earth Science (grade 9)
I am not a big math person either. Some of it I like, some I love, some I hate. I would say I don't like about half of it... and most is just OK.


Even though I tend to dislike math in general, I remember liking my Algebra class in the 11th grade. I struggled a little to pass, but I liked how structured the class was, and the teacher was nice and interactive with the students. I hated Chemistry, which I also took in the 11th grade. I still managed to pass, but I have no idea how. :roll:

Guitar_Girl wrote:
It's nice that other kids in your school like you for being shy and amiable. In my school other kids want nothing to do with me. But I also have few close friends and many acquaintances.
I'm so upset at my Bio teacher. He is making us all work in groups. The problem is, many people in that class already make fun of me; I don't need anymore of that. I hate everyone. I can't stand group work.

Thanks for replying

Guitar_Girl


Maybe you should open yourself up more. You shouldn't just hate everybody on sight. Maybe people just feel intimidated by you because you come off as antisocial to them.



Guitar_Girl
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29 Aug 2010, 7:31 am

Descartes wrote:
Guitar_Girl wrote:
Hi, Descartes.

I like anything in the Language Arts and Social Studies departments. I'm not a Science person. I hate it.
I don't like Biology, but it's WAY better than Physics (grade 8 ) and Earth Science (grade 9)
I am not a big math person either. Some of it I like, some I love, some I hate. I would say I don't like about half of it... and most is just OK.


Even though I tend to dislike math in general, I remember liking my Algebra class in the 11th grade. I struggled a little to pass, but I liked how structured the class was, and the teacher was nice and interactive with the students. I hated Chemistry, which I also took in the 11th grade. I still managed to pass, but I have no idea how. :roll:

Guitar_Girl wrote:
It's nice that other kids in your school like you for being shy and amiable. In my school other kids want nothing to do with me. But I also have few close friends and many acquaintances.
I'm so upset at my Bio teacher. He is making us all work in groups. The problem is, many people in that class already make fun of me; I don't need anymore of that. I hate everyone. I can't stand group work.

Thanks for replying

Guitar_Girl


Maybe you should open yourself up more. You shouldn't just hate everybody on sight. Maybe people just feel intimidated by you because you come off as antisocial to them.


Descartes, I get that I should open myself up alot. These people make fun of me and my also non-NT friends. There's no reason to like them. They are all loud and obnoxious. I shouldn't have said I hated them though. That's a strong word. I just dislike them. But I agree that some people may be intimidated by me.



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29 Aug 2010, 8:04 am

Guitar_Girl wrote:
Descartes, I get that I should open myself up alot. These people make fun of me and my also non-NT friends. There's no reason to like them. They are all loud and obnoxious. I shouldn't have said I hated them though. That's a strong word. I just dislike them. But I agree that some people may be intimidated by me.


I was teased every now and then in high school, and as I mentioned before, I went to an extremely ghetto school with a bunch of obnoxious kids, but I still managed to get along with most people.

At least you have your non-NT friends to hang out with. They do go to the same school as you, don't they?



Guitar_Girl
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29 Aug 2010, 8:13 am

Descartes wrote:
Guitar_Girl wrote:
Descartes, I get that I should open myself up alot. These people make fun of me and my also non-NT friends. There's no reason to like them. They are all loud and obnoxious. I shouldn't have said I hated them though. That's a strong word. I just dislike them. But I agree that some people may be intimidated by me.


I was teased every now and then in high school, and as I mentioned before, I went to an extremely ghetto school with a bunch of obnoxious kids, but I still managed to get along with most people.

At least you have your non-NT friends to hang out with. They do go to the same school as you, don't they?


Yes they do. Were just not in the same classes.



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29 Aug 2010, 9:19 am

Guitar_Girl wrote:
Yes they do. Were just not in the same classes.


Do you ever see them on campus?



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01 Sep 2010, 10:27 am

Guitar_Girl wrote:
Hello!
I won't be on here much anymore :( because I started school. I have, in order, German( :D ), Biology( :( ),
English( :) ), and Algebra ( :( )
I like German and English; I don't like Biology and Algebra.
I have some problems (other than my grades)
I say that I barely like anyone in my school, for various reasons. I have very few friends. I feel if I would open up a little more and talk to people, I would have friends in my classes......
I feel so uncomfortable in group work too. I absolutely dread it. I just want to pretend I'm sick and not have to do it. I hate it. Do you have a problem with group work?




Anyone have any comments? Are you the same way in anything?
Thanks for any input!
Guitar_Girl


I hate group work as well. Teachers seem to be obsessed with group activities now. :roll: Hehe I pretty much refuse to do any group activities. Then again one benefit of being pushed into group work all the time is that you might get to know a few more people. :)
Good luck with school.


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Guitar_Girl
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04 Sep 2010, 5:31 am

Descartes wrote:
Guitar_Girl wrote:
Yes they do. Were just not in the same classes.


Do you ever see them on campus?


Yes I do. And I saw them at the school football game last night.



Guitar_Girl
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04 Sep 2010, 5:33 am

gemstone123 wrote:
Guitar_Girl wrote:
Hello!
I won't be on here much anymore :( because I started school. I have, in order, German( :D ), Biology( :( ),
English( :) ), and Algebra ( :( )
I like German and English; I don't like Biology and Algebra.
I have some problems (other than my grades)
I say that I barely like anyone in my school, for various reasons. I have very few friends. I feel if I would open up a little more and talk to people, I would have friends in my classes......
I feel so uncomfortable in group work too. I absolutely dread it. I just want to pretend I'm sick and not have to do it. I hate it. Do you have a problem with group work?




Anyone have any comments? Are you the same way in anything?
Thanks for any input!
Guitar_Girl


I hate group work as well. Teachers seem to be obsessed with group activities now. :roll: Hehe I pretty much refuse to do any group activities. Then again one benefit of being pushed into group work all the time is that you might get to know a few more people. :)
Good luck with school.




Actually, there are alot of new people in school this year. I'm starting to get a little over my shyness, so maybe I will.