Vote the useful people off the island

Post Reply New Topic

MrXxx, I actually thought the article implied that. It's pretty obvious that the participants only "suspected" the altruist of being better than they were.

I was briefly a boss, not by choice, just circumstances. Turned out my guys thought I was a slave-driver. That was a total misunderstanding. I worked hard, and they were trying to do what they thought was expected of them - be quiet and hard-working. As long as the work was done on time, I didn't mind how they behaved - but they didn't realise that.

They complained. I was shocked. I apologised. They told me I needed to talk to them more. It was all resolved, but it bothered me for years, and I made sure I wasn't anyone's boss again. A bit of an over-reaction on my part, but I just couldn't understand how they misread me so badly, or why they needed to copy my work-style.

It seems hard to get it right, whatever you do.

It did imply it. It bugs me that they didn't just come right out and say it.

Oh yeah...

Maybe they didn't want to be voted off the island.

No wonder we all feel ostracized. We are! Because we say it like it is, and nobody can stand to here the truth. This world needs to grow up.

I became a boss back in May and everyone suddenly seems to hate me even though I let them be . . . they complain about me in vague terms and have completely paranoid attitudes regarding my management style (which is overachieve at my work and let them do theirs). But your story and this idea that they might think they need to reflect my work style is very, very interesting. I believe that might be what is happening.

mediocrity only can know itself, and everything transcending the mediocre level might as well be invisible to the morally mediocre. that is why the bulk of humanity behaves poorly and remains relatively primitive at this late date.



psychology, by way of earthly "dog-eat-dog" animal nature, depresses the hell out of me. it is mediocrity elaborated and refined to a cheesy shine- a polished turd, if you will. just my mediocre human opinion of human nature.

When society is made up of lies and deception, why would anyone want to stand to hear the truth?

It's why you have to all but have the world in the palm of your hand, and not give two $#!+$ what anyone else thinks of you in the process.

They don't want you to let them be. They want you to be the boss.

They want fair treatment - you will tell them what is expected, you will tell them when you are displeased, and you will praise them for things done well. If there is any problem to be handled, you will deal with it.

In exchange they will do their best, and tell you you are a good boss, and stop b*tching about you.

If you aren't being directive, they are probably doing their best to guess what would please you, but if you don't seem to be supporting them, they will be unhappy. It's an unfortunate fact that if you are the boss you now have a role to play in a hierachy which isn't your natural environment. Real people-managers thrive on this kind of thing.

But if you can avoid them having to guess what you want, so that they can stop trying to emulate you, things might improve. One thing which did help me (apart from sending them to the pub for a meal and a moan : bribery lol ) was to explain which things were urgent and important, which were less so, and to tell them I thought we were all a great team, and I was working hard so what we were all doing would be a success. I hadn't explained much to them, because I thought they wouldn't want to know, but I was told I was wrong, and they wanted to be kept up-to-date.
So more communication seems to be important, maybe specific regular team-meetings, and clearer deadlines for work, so that they can be social when there's time for it.

I don't know if that's any help?
( You might find one of the books about Asperger's and jobs useful reading. )

Wow. I think all this explains, in a nutshell, why I have the problems I do.

I just emailed the publisher of the article a link to this posting with the caption
"Geez buddy, we've been experiencing this for years."

Great idea!

Being too kind, or working too hard? I see myself in these posts, and it was the places I worked the hardest I was shunned the worst. Or at least by most people there.

I was made to work in unsafe conditions a couple of times. Giving the unpopular guy the unpopular jobs would happen too.