On processing verbal information.

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Has anyone figured out how to be a better listener?

I used to be a horrible listener as my mind kept searching for context and was filled with more of my own thoughts than the other's words. This would lead to total miscomprehensions and silly things out of my mouth (along with rude interruptions because my impulse to speak seemed to take over my ability not to).

I did a business diploma after finishing HS and in communications they taught us that the human mind thinks at approximately 1,000 words a second whereas a speaking person can only say about one word per three seconds. The way to listen is concentrate on their voice. If you think in pictures, you just fill in one in your head as they speak, if you think in words, imagine each word in your mind as the person says it. Making your mind do this takes up most of the thinking space and allows you to ask questions when they finish if you need to get further information to understand.

Hope this helps

Thank you for the tip. I'll start applying it, the next time somebody delivers me verbal information.

If you have central auditory processing disorder (CAPD), you may find it helpful to take written notes and then read the written notes so you use your visual sense to understand vs your auditory one. You could tape record a conversation (pocket tape recorder) and play it back. In some cases, doing less talking may help being a better listener. Sometimes there may be no quick and easy solutions to being a better listener especially when part of the challenge involves working memory/short term memory. Good luck.

I was actually thinking of listening in terms of during a conversation (in which case recording and playing back may not be an option). I was making a phone call this morning where I asked a question and forgot to pay attention to the answer. I did hear every word and even had the chance to repeat them myself, I just (at the time) didn't make a connection between those words and the answer to my question.

This is also an issue for me during face-to-face conversation, although some days are better than others.

It helps me to shut my eyes, to cut out all visual sensory input, so that I can focus better on the auditory. It works in lectures, but is not a good idea in conversation, because people think you're falling asleep or not listening, and they get offended.

Ah - just saw you specified in conversation. In that case (in face-to-face conversation) I focus on the person's mouth to supplement lip-reading with listening. There are times when I totally miss what someone was saying and I ask them to repeat it. I don't always make the connections - it involves a lot of concentration on many levels to understand the words, the sentences, the details, the overall meaning, and the significance of this meaning to the conversation in general. I can't always maintain this level of concentration. For me, it's about accepting I have a difficulty here, explaining it to people who will listen and understand, and asking for clarification when necessary.

Since I am in school right now I took your advice to listen to voice instead of compound the words they were saying and it is working pretty well. Now I have to make it habit.

Work on your concentration muscles. Go into conversations with the intention of listening.

Two or three words per second is about right for speech, not one word every three seconds. That's easy to measure, anyone can do it. The other part, how fast we think in words per minute, is not easy to measure, and is probably meaningless, as different people think in very different ways. I suspect whoever was telling you that just made up a big number to convey the message that it's faster than speech, which is certainly true.

I can keep up with other people's speech better than I can speak myself.

I second this. I always have to consciously decide to listen and really concentrate. If I don't, I don't take anything in. Conversation is therefore tiring, and so I try to keep it to a minimum, to conserve energy. If I am part of a conversation that isn't really important, I will allow myself to switch off and go into a world of my own while others do the chatting. So not only do I make a conscious decision to listen and concentrate when I need to, I also make a conscious decision as to which conversations I will take part in. I think NTs don't really understand this. Because it comes naturally to them, they can be part of limitless conversations with no significant impact on their energy levels.

Yes, I have them send me a memo, most of the time people sound like adults on Charley Brown, especially in noisy environment

I seem to listen better just by using my ears. I can do this without even looking at the visual aspects. It was even better when I did my tests at school because I got good grades on them and not even studied once with the study guides I had. Yet I found that if I'm not using what I learn I lose those skills so it ends up backfiring in the end.

i am the opposite of some of you. when i close my eyes i have even more trouble processing words, whether speaking or listening.

i am also terrible at hearing answers to my questions. i am still overprocessing some thought like "did i ask that question correctly? am i making sense? will the person misunderstand my question - how will i rephrase it???" (9 times out of 10, even when i think i have been very precise) .. even just "what time is it?" and i forget i am in a conversation instantly, or when i get an answer i have forgotten what the question was ..

just yesterday i was on the phone with my mother, i've just started a new job, i told her i would get time off for holidays and she said "it's good that you will get breaks." i heard "brakes" .. i had already moved on in my head and was thinking about my car.

no, i guess i don't have any advice. the way i have "learned" to listen is to nod and say "yeah" and "uh hm." which is not listening, but appears polite.

maybe .. take notes.

I watch people's mouths as they talk. It helps tremendously. Before I figured out how to lipread, much of what people said to me was incomprehensible because it was garbled. I think it could help with attentional problems as well.