Autism fundraiser - go or not go? Please advise.

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Here’s a weird one. I’m posting it in two forums – General for advice and political for same…My fiancée wants me to go to an autism fundraiser concert. I don’t want to go at all. I have been to two autism fundraisers – one a dinner theater, the other a motorcycle bike night (and I am a bike junkie and rider, been riding since I was ten), and both experiences were horrible. At the dinner theater thing several people expressed doubts that I was “on the spectrum” ( I am considered to be high functioning to high Aspie by my neurologist) , one woman even going so far as to say that my fakery of a widespread problem for free food was tasteless which led to me losing it and embarrassing myself, and at the bike night the noise level, crowds and so on were amazingly huge and probably 99% of them NT. What made the evening horrible was that a Kanner’s autist man I know came with his wife (bikes are his hangup, too) and he had a meltdown because of the noise and people kept looking at him like he was diseased or something and I heard people saying stuff like “Hey shut the freak up” and “Jeez, what’s wrong with him?” At a bleeding AUTISM fund raiser. The irony and hopelessness of it made me so angry I swore never to go back to one of these things but now my fiancée is upset because he does not understand a) why I won’t go and b) why I won’t support the Cause.

The latter rankles, I am a published author and I donate to my local group but as to actually going...sigh.

Any thoughts?

Hello Samizat

If it's going to stress you, don't go. You don't have a duty to support these events.

Let the do-gooders have their dinner and go away happy, thinking they've done some good for the poor autistic children - it won't occur to them that autistic children turn into autistic adults. Maybe their stereotypes should be challenged, but you can only do so much - look after yourself first.

The types who engage in charitable activity in that way don't really think about or care much for those who are supposed to benefit from the charity. I guess they want to feel every now and then that they did a good deed that would make them admirable, even though some of them likely spend the rest of their time screwing other people over for personal gain. Well, I only hope those charities produce some useful benefit with the money they accumulate.

I answered you in the thread on GA.

The short summary is, fundraisers are designed to get money from those with no natural interest in a cause, not those most directly affected by it. They aren't comfortable for you because you aren't the target audience, and there are many better ways to offer your support to a cause than by purchasing tickets to the banner events. I put together a lot of fund raising events for the schools; the more outsiders we can get to give us their money, the better. It's about money for the kids, but not about entertaining or even including the kids.

There is a walk here in Calgary for Allies for Autism Foundation


11th Annual
Family Fun Walk/Run

10km run / 5km walk / 1.5km walk

Information sharing

To benefit individuals with Autism

Sunday, September 19, 2010

10:00 am

AL AZHAR SHRINE CENTRE
5225 101 Street N.W.

For more information call 403-208-0403

http://alliesforautismfoundatio.supersi ... careswalk/

Thought I should post this, I think you should go, I support several foundations and charities such as the
Shriners Hospitals for Children, Alberta Children's Hospital, and Canadian Diabetes Association, I also support
several events in Second Life such as Red Cross and Wigs for Kids, I have also made 2 hair donations for that
organization, anyhow am I a do gooder, you better believe it.