Do guys make too big of a deal about sex?

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Do guys make too big of a deal about sex?
Yes - and I am a woman 28%  28%  [ 13 ]
No - and I am a woman 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
Yes - and I am a man 32%  32%  [ 15 ]
No - and I am a man 30%  30%  [ 14 ]
Other... 9%  9%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 47

JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 9:05 am

Why do they do this?



menintights
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15 Sep 2010, 9:11 am

No. Just young people in general make a big deal of sex.

I know why they do this. Do you?



Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 9:16 am

That's impossible to answer - I have no idea how important sex is for those who "make a big deal" about it, so how could I say if they are overreacting or not?

I do know I've met men who managed to live decently without sex for longer periods of time, but they had a reason that kept them going - I imagine it's a lot harder if you feel you don't have a choice.


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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 9:17 am

menintights wrote:
No. Just young people in general make a big deal of sex.

I know why they do this. Do you?


No, I don't. Hence the question. :D



Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 9:22 am

Hormones?


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Pistonhead
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15 Sep 2010, 9:31 am

No. I can say that the balance of power does make it seem that way.

I would say women abuse sex to meet their other needs more so than men. Want a guy to love you? Screw him! Want to get even with one of your peers? Screw her boyfriend! Boyfriend didn't get you an ipod for christmas? Screw his best friend and make sure he finds out!

So I would say it's more the complete opposite. For the majority of men it is what it is. For women it's either the work of the devil or it's a tool. They think we'll stay quiet and not want it? Tough luck!


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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 9:32 am

Sallamandrina wrote:
That's impossible to answer - I have no idea how important sex is for those who "make a big deal" about it, so how could I say if they are overreacting or not?

I do know I've met men who managed to live decently without sex for longer periods of time, but they had a reason that kept them going - I imagine it's a lot harder if you feel you don't have a choice.


Yes, that sounds very reasonable and logical. What kept them going?

Do you have a favorite book by Walter Benjamin.



Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 9:36 am

Lol, Pistonhead, do you really think a man will fall in love with a woman just because she has sex with him? A woman expecting this would be very stupid.

Yes, I have seen women using sex to get what they want - some people use money or force the same way - it's just the ugly side of human nature.


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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 9:40 am

Pistonhead wrote:
No. I can say that the balance of power does make it seem that way.

I would say women abuse sex to meet their other needs more so than men. Want a guy to love you? Screw him! Want to get even with one of your peers? Screw her boyfriend! Boyfriend didn't get you an ipod for christmas? Screw his best friend and make sure he finds out!

So I would say it's more the complete opposite. For the majority of men it is what it is. For women it's either the work of the devil or it's a tool. They think we'll stay quiet and not want it? Tough luck!


Interesting input. Do you think that the screw him to make him love you approach works?



Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 9:48 am

JohnisBlind wrote:
Sallamandrina wrote:
That's impossible to answer - I have no idea how important sex is for those who "make a big deal" about it, so how could I say if they are overreacting or not?

I do know I've met men who managed to live decently without sex for longer periods of time, but they had a reason that kept them going - I imagine it's a lot harder if you feel you don't have a choice.


Yes, that sounds very reasonable and logical. What kept them going?

Do you have a favorite book by Walter Benjamin.


The case I had in mind was of someone very close to me who didn't have sex for almost 2 years because his wife was ill. I know some people will think he was lying, but I already knew worse things about him than cheating on his wife would have been and I have good reasons to believe him. He told me he didn't have much interest in others women any more and cared a lot about his wife so he just took care of matters himself. Not much fun, but apparently possible.

As for Walter Benjamin I can't say I have a favourite book, but I really enjoyed Critique of Violence and The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.


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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 9:54 am

Sallamandrina wrote:
JohnisBlind wrote:
Sallamandrina wrote:
That's impossible to answer - I have no idea how important sex is for those who "make a big deal" about it, so how could I say if they are overreacting or not?

I do know I've met men who managed to live decently without sex for longer periods of time, but they had a reason that kept them going - I imagine it's a lot harder if you feel you don't have a choice.


Yes, that sounds very reasonable and logical. What kept them going?

Do you have a favorite book by Walter Benjamin.


The case I had in mind was of someone very close to me who didn't have sex for almost 2 years because his wife was ill. I know some people will think he was lying, but I already knew worse things about him than cheating on his wife would have been and I have good reasons to believe him. He told me he didn't have much interest in others women any more and cared a lot about his wife so he just took care of matters himself. Not much fun, but apparently possible.

As for Walter Benjamin I can't say I have a favourite book, but I really enjoyed Critique of Violence and The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction.



Yes, and to think that 2 years is a very short amount of time for many people with Aspergers. 2 years huh! lol.



Craig28
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15 Sep 2010, 10:02 am

Social and peer pressures make sex an issue. For example if I had 4 friends and they were all getting some and I wasn't, then you can see what I am on about. Its all about fitting in, and when a human being knows that they are missing out on something, all rational behaviour goes out of the window and all Hell breaks loose.

It may not be a person's right to have sex,, but it is a person's right to do all they can for themselves, to better themselves and in whatever way deemed possible. Even if that means trampling over someone. Its life, some survive and some fall under.



Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 10:05 am

JohnisBlind wrote:
Yes, and to think that 2 years is a very short amount of time for many people with Aspergers. 2 years huh! lol.


I know what you're saying, but you have to consider the expectations - for a married man, 2 years without sex is along time. :P


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Pistonhead
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15 Sep 2010, 10:15 am

JohnisBlind wrote:
Interesting input. Do you think that the screw him to make him love you approach works?


With the right guy yes. About 4 years ago a kiss would have won me over. Now days a girl could bend over for me all day and I could pull my keys out of my pocket, open the front door, wave and be gone. When you have innocent preconceived notions of how wonderful love is you're vulnerable to anything and mix in the unfulfilled desire for sex and you've got yourself a catastrophe.

Sallamandrina wrote:
Lol, Pistonhead, do you really think a man will fall in love with a woman just because she has sex with him? A woman expecting this would be very stupid.


Yes I do! They also tend to know that it works from experience. Ask any girl who's been with 10+ guys what the quickest way to a man's heart is. 9/10 will say bend over and 1/10 will say steak, beer or football.


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JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 10:16 am

Craig28 wrote:
Social and peer pressures make sex an issue. For example if I had 4 friends and they were all getting some and I wasn't, then you can see what I am on about. Its all about fitting in, and when a human being knows that they are missing out on something, all rational behaviour goes out of the window and all Hell breaks loose.

It may not be a person's right to have sex,, but it is a person's right to do all they can for themselves, to better themselves and in whatever way deemed possible. Even if that means trampling over someone. Its life, some survive and some fall under.


So it's only about peer pressure. It does sound like you are making to big of a deal about this then, if that is the only reason you care.



Sallamandrina
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15 Sep 2010, 10:26 am

Pistonhead wrote:
Sallamandrina wrote:
Lol, Pistonhead, do you really think a man will fall in love with a woman just because she has sex with him? A woman expecting this would be very stupid.


Yes I do! They also tend to know that it works from experience. Ask any girl who's been with 10+ guys what the quickest way to a man's heart is. 9/10 will say bend over and 1/10 will say steak, beer or football.


Are you sure we're talking about love here? Sounds more like how to get someone into a relationship - I'd say 50% of time this has little to do with love.


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