I wonder what this site has come to, sometimes.

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MrXxx
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18 Sep 2010, 1:36 pm

Toxicity breeds toxicity. The problem with toxicity is that it poisons a positive frame of mind, but the reverse doesn't happen.

A few good apples thrown into a barrel of rotten ones, will become rotten. One rotten apple tossed into a barrel of good apples will ruin them all.

The ONLY way to prevent rottenness from spreading is to separate the apples.

Of course, we aren't apples. We are human beings with the capacity to make choices. I think you're idea to take a break is a good one. Limit your contact with threads that feel toxic. I started using the "unsubscribe" link recently, and it's helped a lot.

There are those here that claim this negative energy is everywhere on the Internet. Yes, it is, but I've been on literally hundreds of forums with dozens of different purposes over the last ten years, and I can tell you without doubt that the toxicity level here is far stronger than any other forum I've been on.

Another thing about human behavior I've easily concluded is that if you provide a means of expression, the most common mentality that is expressed is negative, not positive. People in general have less of a tendency to talk about things they find acceptable, and more of a tendency to talk about things they think should change. That often comes across as whining and complaining. It can, and does, also come across as accusatory to the folks that are happy with the status quo.

Combine that general human tendency with Autism, and you get a recipe for conflict. People on the spectrum, in general, do not like to consider that their thinking may need to change. To an Autistic, changing thinking means changing who you are. Any suggestion to change thinking is more often than not, seen as a challenge to individuality. A challenge to identity. NO, I do not think everyone here is like that, but I do strongly believe that this in probably THE most common core Aspie and/or Autistic trait. NT's ARE like this too, but not to the extent that Aspies and Autistics are overall.

I do believe most of us learn to overcome that with age. The vast majority of people being DX'd on the spectrum today though, are pretty young (children, teenagers and Twenties). They haven't had time to learn as much about their own Autism, and how to cope with it. A great many of them, or at least the most vocal of them on this forum, seem to me to be more interested in being right about what they already think than in being open to other ideas before they even post.

I have seen evidence on WP that quite a few users were apparently like that when they first came here a few years ago. Some of them have been banned, and since returned. Most of them that have stuck around seemed to have learned to become at least a little more open minded.

In the meantime, a whole lot more new users have signed up, and the most vocal of them seem to have not yet learned how closed minded they are.

The whole cycle, now that I've had time to think about it, seems almost obvious. Almost as if it should be expected.

Use those unsubscribe links and take a break. If you've been thinking about it, it probably means it's a good idea.


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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


frag
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18 Sep 2010, 1:51 pm

I think this should be the place to talk without fear of being insulted. I haven't been here long enough to see the forum any different than it is now. If someone is insulting that is just wrong.

As for being depressed, I don't think it is reasonable to say people with depression are not welcome here. It would be reasonable to think they should not try to convince others of their negative view. But depression is an illness and if you have it you can't just stop having it. Even taking meds and you can still have it. I think it is wrong to demand people to be cheery and happy.

Something I notice here and I find disturbing is that quite a bit are pretty callous to others. You might say it is in the nature of autism but I don't think it is not in that magnitude. I think it is the forum that sort of sets the norm how one is allowed to behave. If other people acted callous before then then next person thinks it is OK to do so.



Morgana
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18 Sep 2010, 4:17 pm

I think the best way to deal with difficult people and uncomfortable threads is avoidance. You don´t need extra stress or toxicity in your life, so just pick and choose the people and topics that are the best for you. As you said, you do get support here much of the time, so you can use this site constructively. If somebody picks on you, well- they are the unenlightened one, not you. So you just say "adieu" and move on to another thread.

In any case, I hope you stay on WP! I like reading your Posts, and seeing your ever-changing "Kinks" Avatars. After all, how else would I have learned all about Mick Avory, if I hadn´t met you online? :D


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Dnuos
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18 Sep 2010, 5:09 pm

Corp900 wrote:
no can do
It's just this guy, right here.

"no can do". Really? It's as if you're trying to start these problems. You're pissing off a lot of people who are happy to have AS, and convincing others who are depressed because they have AS, to be even more depressed. It's a support forum, you're not exactly "doin it rite".

Craig28 wrote:
I get the absolute vibes that Aspies are more egotisical and vemonous then NTs. At least with NTs you can win the argument, but an argument with an Aspie? Hah, not only would you lose that, but they would beat you into the ground further just to see you squirm.

A disability of pure poison and hatred is Asperger Syndrome

Hans should have been executed for his work.
While I highly doubt that NT's are always more reasonable, I've been thinking about this since the religious thread yesterday. One of the associated traits with Asperger's is "Black and white thinking". No gray areas, either absolute or not at all. Serious close-mindedness. This was really noticeable in that thread, from both sides of the "religious debate" (Christians and Atheists), neither side even slightly took 1% of the other sides' stuff into consideration. Heck, while I'm currently not really on either side (it's complicated), I was on one of the sides before, and I hate looking back at myself and seeing how I was in the same mindset: "I am 100% correct, you are 100% wrong; I am better than you, you should be burned at the stake; I don't need to 'open my mind', YOU need to 'open your mind'"

That's how I used to be and I notice it a lot, pretty much seeing my old self in those who were on my "side". I'd like to at least believe I'm not like that anymore. So I think that "black and white thinking" can be helped or changed. I'm not quite the best example now, though, since I'm too indecisive and can't make up my mind... I don't have any side on any of the main debates going on these days.

But... Hans being executed for his work won't really help much



Eggman
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18 Sep 2010, 5:12 pm

trolls and no0bs saddly


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League_Girl
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18 Sep 2010, 6:01 pm

DeaconBlues wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
I get the absolute vibes that Aspies are more egotisical and vemonous then NTs. At least with NTs you can win the argument, but an argument with an Aspie? Hah, not only would you lose that, but they would beat you into the ground further just to see you squirm.

A disability of pure poison and hatred is Asperger Syndrome

Hans should have been executed for his work.

Someone said something about not seeing trolls here?



I don't see how he is a troll. Just him expressing his opinion. Just because you don't like what he says doesn't mean he is one.



bee33
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18 Sep 2010, 6:12 pm

League_Girl wrote:
DeaconBlues wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
I get the absolute vibes that Aspies are more egotisical and vemonous then NTs. At least with NTs you can win the argument, but an argument with an Aspie? Hah, not only would you lose that, but they would beat you into the ground further just to see you squirm.

A disability of pure poison and hatred is Asperger Syndrome

Hans should have been executed for his work.

Someone said something about not seeing trolls here?



I don't see how he is a troll. Just him expressing his opinion. Just because you don't like what he says doesn't mean he is one.
Oh come on... AS is "a disability of pure poison and hatred?" People with as "would beat you into the ground further just to see you squirm?" What would you call that?

I certainly don't consider myself or anyone here on WP to be the personification of poison and hatred. That's not an opinion it's a damning judgment on everyone with AS.

Granted, I can just assume the poster was having a bad day.



League_Girl
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18 Sep 2010, 6:39 pm

bee33 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
DeaconBlues wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
I get the absolute vibes that Aspies are more egotisical and vemonous then NTs. At least with NTs you can win the argument, but an argument with an Aspie? Hah, not only would you lose that, but they would beat you into the ground further just to see you squirm.

A disability of pure poison and hatred is Asperger Syndrome

Hans should have been executed for his work.

Someone said something about not seeing trolls here?



I don't see how he is a troll. Just him expressing his opinion. Just because you don't like what he says doesn't mean he is one.
Oh come on... AS is "a disability of pure poison and hatred?" People with as "would beat you into the ground further just to see you squirm?" What would you call that?

I certainly don't consider myself or anyone here on WP to be the personification of poison and hatred. That's not an opinion it's a damning judgment on everyone with AS.

Granted, I can just assume the poster was having a bad day.


I think the poster is just bitter and is not happy with who he is and expresses himself negatively, I often see negative posts by him but they don't bother me. I have an aspie friend who keeps saying having AS is a curse. That's how he feels about himself. He has even expressed that here too I recall but he doesn't come here often.



sartresue
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18 Sep 2010, 6:57 pm

Sites and sounds topic

CR, please ignore the negativity. I know I do.

I like your posts about Mick Avory. I have learned a lot about him, but have you ever written a fan letter?, He is still alive, in his late sixties, according to Wiki. 8)


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