Do people get confused by what you say?

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League_Girl
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20 Sep 2010, 4:58 pm

I don't know how often this happens to me but I have been told in the past by a few people I contradict myself or I am not making any sense. So I have no idea how many others think this or if it's the minority.

I just think maybe it's because I have troubles expressing myself and people misread what I write so when I make myself more clear, they think I contradicted myself than seeing they just misunderstood my OP. Also I have mixed thought and feelings so I can say one thing and then another. Even my shrink I saw in high school used to get confused by what I say so he would always tell me "You lost me there" and then he started telling me "part of you wants X and part of you doesn't" because he figured out part of me wanted this and part of me didn't so that was why I say one thing and then another. And sometimes I don't even know how I feel or think so I may not even make any sense and may say one thing and another. I also found out I had that issue too thanks to him because I wouldn't know how I was feeling about something.

Also changing my point of views or opinions, people might think I said one thing and then another and not even realize I maybe changed my mind. I am sure this happens to everybody because not everyone is that smart to assume that.



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20 Sep 2010, 5:06 pm

You make perfect sense to me.

I found your logic and reasoning to be clear, simple but also poignant. Maybe that confuses them, to have wisdom expressed at a grass roots level

Changing ones mind is okay, but too much can confuse those who try to pin you down



superboyian
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20 Sep 2010, 5:06 pm

I have this problem all the time, mostly when I'm typing though so I normally make my responses clear and short as possible so when I do make long posts, I wouldn't have to confuse everyone as such.

I get told this alot by literally anyone whoever has a IM convo or a regular converation with me, including the annoying stuttering.


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League_Girl
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20 Sep 2010, 5:08 pm

Surfman wrote:
You make perfect sense to me.

I found your logic and reasoning to be clear, simple but also poignant. Maybe that confuses them, to have wisdom expressed at a grass roots level

Changing ones mind is okay, but too much can confuse those who try to pin you down



I also have a problem where I can't make up my mind and I keep changing it so therefore I have mixed thoughts. Therefore, saying one thing and then another.



League_Girl
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20 Sep 2010, 5:08 pm

superboyian wrote:
I have this problem all the time, mostly when I'm typing though so I normally make my responses clear and short as possible so when I do make long posts, I wouldn't have to confuse everyone as such.

I get told this alot by literally anyone whoever has a IM convo or a regular converation with me, including the annoying stuttering.



Yeah I was one of them. :lol:



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20 Sep 2010, 5:25 pm

It depends on what I said but for the most part I make myself as clear as possible. I do have a problem with talking fast though.



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20 Sep 2010, 5:48 pm

I get confused by what I say. I start trying to say or explain something and by the end I've totally lost the thread and have no idea what I'm going on about. :oops:



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20 Sep 2010, 6:00 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I don't know how often this happens to me but I have been told in the past by a few people I contradict myself or I am not making any sense. So I have no idea how many others think this or if it's the minority.

I just think maybe it's because I have troubles expressing myself and people misread what I write so when I make myself more clear, they think I contradicted myself than seeing they just misunderstood my OP. Also I have mixed thought and feelings so I can say one thing and then another. Even my shrink I saw in high school used to get confused by what I say so he would always tell me "You lost me there" and then he started telling me "part of you wants X and part of you doesn't" because he figured out part of me wanted this and part of me didn't so that was why I say one thing and then another. And sometimes I don't even know how I feel or think so I may not even make any sense and may say one thing and another. I also found out I had that issue too thanks to him because I wouldn't know how I was feeling about something.

Also changing my point of views or opinions, people might think I said one thing and then another and not even realize I maybe changed my mind. I am sure this happens to everybody because not everyone is that smart to assume that.


Yes.
I would be misconstrued often, of which I believe to a be mismatch of non verbal "body language," to what I was expressing verbally/orally.
I would say ," I didn't say that, remember?" They would say back, "you did, though." I would reiterate it again with more clarity, and would pin "it" down with incontrovertible logic ; that the problem is on the other end . In the end they would say,"well, I thought you meant it another way."
They would read "the body language" or lack thereof, and spin an interpretation off of this, and this would frustrate me to no end. They would ignore the verbal and go for the "non verbal." Why?

I would be befuddled of how twisted something could get, as these folks were not stupid, but it goes to show how body language plays a significant role in communication.

I heard it said that 80% of communication is non-verbal for most folks (n/t) .



Last edited by Mdyar on 20 Sep 2010, 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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20 Sep 2010, 6:03 pm

Contradictions are a normal part of life. Not everything is cut in stone. But once someone gets a notion in their head about something, it's hard-pressed to get them to understand no matter how much you try to explain. Sometimes people are just hell-bent on proving you're wrong, that you don't know your own mind, but that's their agenda and is better left completely alone. It's beyond exhausting when that happens.



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20 Sep 2010, 7:49 pm

I find it really difficult to put my thoughts into words pretty often. I know how to respond, in my mind, but putting it into words in a way that everyone else can understand doesn't seem to work so well.



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20 Sep 2010, 8:15 pm

Yes.

I take a different perspective than most people, and I also have difficulties using spoken language (prefer text!! !), so it can come out wrong. Those two combined and it can lead me having to re-explain over and over again. I can't help but think of the problems these misunderstandings have given me over the years.


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21 Sep 2010, 12:30 am

The clearer I talk the less they get it - and vice versa. The fundamental assumptions are too different.

I was trying to work my way into Joshua's home language, and asked him to say "goat" for me. Asked him to say "my goat" Asked him to say "tree". Asked him for "my tree" - he answers back, totally puzzled, "HOW can a man own a tree?" There is a difference in fundamental assumptions for you.

Sometimes I fall back on drawing diAgrams. Sometimes I just shut up. I can communicate with my dog better than with some humans.



League_Girl
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21 Sep 2010, 1:09 am

I try and make myself clear as I can and people will still not understand. I swear they are just stupid.

It takes me a while to make a post because I try to be clear as I can so people won't misunderstand and they still do and I wonder "why do I even bother?"

Also people just like to read into what isn't even there, talk about reading between the lines. :roll:



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21 Sep 2010, 4:31 am

Lots of my classmates & teachers got confused by what I said when I was in school. I have problems explaining things sometiems & don't use the correct words & I also forget what I want to say when I'm in the middle of saying it sometimes or I get nervous & my voice messes up. People tend to understand me much better online but it takes me a while to figure out what to say & how to say it the rite way & I still feel like I don't make sense a lot. It was a bit easier for me before all the meds but i still had problems making sense.
FYI being on anti-psychotics do NOT help people understand you unless you are schizophrenic or suffering from some kind of psychotic depression. I know because the psychs insisted that I needed to be on em because they thought I didn't make sense & was disordered. It made things worse. I think clearer NOT on em 7 they left me with some long term side-effects


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21 Sep 2010, 8:14 am

Yes, and especially on the WP anymore. There is so much dumb bickering where people try to make incorrect assumptions as to what you say. It has gotten to the point of absurdity.


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