School Attendance

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Originally posted elsewhere, but realized THIS might be the more appropriate place for it!


Ok..I'm new to this site, as well as the whole disorder itself. My son is a wonderfully bright 17 yr old, who was only diagnosed less than a year ago. Of course, like many others, he had been misdiagnosed since he was 4 and thankfully we have made great strides in the last few months. However, the latest twist developed about a month ago. He just "decided" to stay home and sleep instead of going to school. He's always gotten himself motivated enough to get OUT the door, but has missed TEN days of school in the last month, just to find out it was to stay home and sleep. Two weeks ago, I had just discussed with his physician his lack of sleep----I think i know the answer now----he was sleeping ALL day. The worst part is that the public school he attends did NOT notify me of his absences until today......his 10th day of being absent. I know that as a parent, it is MY job to ensure he gets to school. He is dressed and ready to go when i leave for work (which by the way, is only 10 minutes before he is to leave). I also know that is is HIS responsibility to actually walk out the door and walk the two blocks to school, and he has done this without fail for the last 2 years. However, in his "wisdom" he didn't quite understand the ramifications of his actions. Shouldn't I be furious with the school for their lackidasical approach at his attendance record???? I've never asked for special treatment from the education system, but in this case i REALLY feel that it has failed us. He was all set to go to a vocational school next semester which has a wonderful team of teachers who are familiar with Asperger's. After touring their facility last week with my son, I was convinced that this was the BEST place for him to finish out his last two years of school. It has now come to my attention that his poor attendance record now prohibits him from being accepted into the program. I am now contemplating further actions with the school board to see if his recent behavior, which is obviously directed to his condition, can be "excused" at least to the point that it gets him into the the technical school and OUT of the public school which obviously doesn't care if he's there or not. Anyone's thoughts on this subject would be GREATLY appreciated.

Did he have any behavioral support before?

When he was first diagnosed, he did receive behavioral support from a psychologist. He had trouble accepting what he was being told and grasping the word "autism". Once he really understood what it was all about and stopped using it as a "crutch" to get out of homework, etc. things were going incredibly well. He literally can't explain why he would just skip school. I honestly believe it was an accident the first time it occured (said he fell asleep on the couch) but once he saw that it "worked", he just fell prey to his mind thinking "it's ok---you've done this before". It's like the action-consequence portion of his mind is not connecting. He's always been a child who lives in the present, or 15 minutes at most, into the future. After this latest incident however, it's painfully clear to me as a parent that he does need continued support in his life managing areas to help stress to him the importance of how his actions can follow him much longer than 15 minutes into the future.

i'd try to go to the administration and see if there's any way he could work off the days absent~sort of a middle ground between giving up, and going at the system full force. maybe you can find a sympathetic staff who could help advocate for your son, or at least explain why missing 10 days is an issue for your son. good luck !

Does your son have an IEP? If so then the behavior portion may need to be updated to reflect this change.

If you son does have an IEP, I would request a manifestation hearing regarding the issue of attendence and the acceptance into the program. If it turns out that the behavior is a manifestation of his disability, the district must find a way to address the problem in the Least Restritive Environment (LRE). That would include this vocation program if the IEP team determines that the program is the best placement for your son.

You are allowed to request an IEP meeting at any time of the school year and the school has to hold the meeting (of course, some districts due to state law can wait until the next school year, others are required to hold the meeting in a certain amount of time, even if they have to drag the team from summer vacation).

my mum is always shouting at me and telling me off because i get up 20 minutes before i go to work. she gets up almost 2 hours before she goes to work. which frankly i caqnnot understand a need for. so because i 'apparently' leave it too short before i get up i get alot of shouting for it.
ive got up late one or 2 occasions and my mum has gotten me up and is convinced im going to get fired from my job.
i start at 7 am most mornings, tking a 20 minute bike ride to get there. so i get up at 6 20 am . mum got me u at 6 45 then other day so i got a taxi to work and got to work at 7 am still. but mum is all like 'well if it wasnt for ME youd still be in bed' i say thanks but im not sure what she expects from me. a bunch of flowers and a card to say thanks for getting me up so im not late? she seems to take great pleasure in telling me how useful she is to me in my life.
which i know she is. why do i have to tell her that? i dont get it.

drummer_girl
parents care alot about their kids and like to know they are appriciated

UPDATE!! !

After speaking with his counselor yet again, and having the days that were missed faxed to me, it was to my GREAT surprise that they downplayed the whole thing. My son has only attended 3 days of school since April 12th, 2006. THREE days.... no phone call, no letter....nothing. It was heartbreaking to hear. Of course, with my son, once he got away with it the first time and since no one was contacting me---he used poor judgment and decided why mess up a good thing. He is now heartbroken just knowing how everything has fallen into place and I have NO doubt that he is truly regretful of his poor choices. After trying my best to speak calmly to the guidance couselor, but getting nowhere, i proceeded to call the principal. They would not transfer my call until i took the issue up with the attendance officer. The attendance officer said that since he is 17 (completely ignoring the fact that his medical condition is IN his school records and that he's only in 10th grade) they are not required to notify the parent by phone OR by letter. That it is the teacher's responsibility to notify the parent. I then was allowed to speak to the principal, who was the ONLY one I had spoken to who had a sympathetic ear----who was as shocked and amazed as I was to learn that my son had fallen through the cracks. He also suggested an IEP, which i promptly told him was NOT encouraged by his guidance counselor given my son's age although I had asked to start the process on at least 3 occasions. I also questioned whether or not all children in the city school district should be given an IEP which would ensure that parents would be notified when their child was not in school as required. He is now looking into having the days missed considered excused since it is clearly connected to his Aspergers and my son given the chance to make up the work. Who knows what will happen, but I made it painfully clear that no matter what it took, I would place my son in another school next year regardless of the outcome.

Thanx for all your comments. It's extremely tough raising a child with AS, but compounded by being a single parent who is always learning by just going through it.

TAKE THE IEP. If the principal is offering it, don't think twice.

The IEP is a legally binding document. Once that is in place, it does not matter what the guidence counsler or attendence officer thinks. If the IEP says that the parent is to be contacted if the child is absent, they are required to contact the parent. If they do not, then the district if violating Federal law.

ditto! take the IEP.

i can really under stand what you are going thru. i have two girls in h.s. and the oldest is having problems with stress. the girls are people with ASD. teenage years and high school can be hell. there are expectations these kids are under that we cant understand or remember. imanging being 15/17 and coping with hormones, ASD and the uncertain future. which is not to say that the shool system didnt let you down, i have been fight the school system for my girls basic human right for a fare education fot many years. you must fight and be involved i school because you cant take the word of the education department . does your son hav e the choice of taking a reduced time table? depression sometimes shows itself in too much or to little sleep. you are not alone and i would like to talk again if i can ever work out how to use the bloody chatrooms .all love and good luck from oz