Silent meltdowns?

Post Reply New Topic

Do you ever feel like you're exploding with anger on the inside, but it doesn't show on the outside at all? I don't think it's strictly an aspie trait, but it does happen to me sometimes. I'm talking about something like this video here:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MWE5KyRPpM[/youtube]

I've had them, the past couple of nights.

Are you referring to shutdowns? They're very much like meltdowns; only it's more like you can't figure out how to think about moving/speaking, instead of just exploding in frustration. I'd much rather have a shutdown; they look like absence seizures rather than temper tantrums and I'd rather people thought I had epilepsy rather than just being a b***h.

[Edit]--Wow. Come on, WP filter, that's not even PG-13... And what'll we do if we we ever want to discuss dog breeding?

It censors p-u-s-s-y, too. As in, I tought I taw a putty-tat.

I was actually talking about something like when you get so upset and frustrated that you feel like breaking something or hurting someone, but you appear calm on the surface. I don't know the exact term for it.

I've had those frequently for as long as I can remember.

Also: b***h; p****.

Im having one right now.

I explode in frustration on the inside
I'd rather have a meltdown sometimes,
so that people could see with their eyes my anger an frustration,
rather than just think I am emotionless.



I can perfectly relate to this, I often have 'silent meltdowns'
I imagine myself actually breaking everything I see, many times, in many different ways
(I never imagined hurting someone though)

I also have quiet shutdowns (very often), I stop talking, responding, I detach myself from my surroundings and other people and I wander off in my thoughts.

Yeah, and I let loose afterwards when I'm alone.

Yeah it happens to me too.I get small,explosives meltdown that last one minute max.And then I run away in my room and get in a phase were I'm angry at everything and I will dismiss rudely any attemp at talking with me.This can last maximum one day,very rarely more,but most of the time it just last one hour...

Yes.
When I experience "meltdowns", 9 times out of 10 they aren't the stereotype of a meltdown (crying and yelling and such). I either

a) shut down and I am unable to do anything, including respond to things that are being said or even hear what is being said to me
or
b) I have a "meltdown" without all of the yelling and crying. For example, my eyes may water up and I may clench my fists, but I won't fling myself on the ground crying, nor will I yell at anyone. 90% of the time, I can get out of the situation and go calm down, which is very effective (being away from what is annoying me and being able to "reset"), but, of course, there are always those times where you cannot get away from a situation. I just try to stick it out when this happens, but, honestly, I rarely ever can, so I just tune out completely. It feels like my brain just shuts off.

However, when I am not in public, I may have a stereotypical meltdown, but these are very rare.

I'm more of a "shutdown" person, really; my personality is rather passive.
Then the more "aggressive" people obviously have the stereotypical violent meltdowns when they melt down.

I do get the "silent" meltdowns, which I feel is better explained as shutdowns.

They are essentually different stages of the same function/goal, to get the annoyance/irritant/unbearable sitiation to CEASE.

Where I feel I can "let loose" it is a classic meltdown, shouting, throwing stuff, crying but pretending not to, unless of course I can just leave without any explanation or if I think it won't be noticed that I just leave.

If there are more or less unfamiliar people present the same function presents as a shutdown, I go into bot mode.

I try to appear calm while trying to remove myself from the situation as gracefully as possibly, usually resorting to scripts. They may not even fit the sitation as far as I know, since at that point I'm not able to take in any sensations, but so far I haven't noticed any problems with it, but they are pretty generalised. (Yeah, that's usually how things are, excuse me for a moment, I really need to check this thing over there, insert pleasant and apologetic smile at the end)

I'm still kinda amazed at how this works when I'm practically VIBRATING with frustration on the inside, I can really phsyically feel myself vibrating and being totally out of it, while I can sort of observe my body appearing calm and hear the right words coming out of my mouth with the right tone and expressions... Really bot mode...



This also brings up another thing.... meltdowns are sort of characterised by that uncontrollable element, yet so many like me say that they are somehow able to subdue/internalise their meltdowns into shutdowns when the situation calls for it... I don't really know how to make sense of that..

I know that is a key pont with AS skeptics, basically saying that if you can "choose" wether to have a meltdown or a shutdown you're not autistic since you can't control a meltdown, if you can it is merely a tantrum.

Thoughts, please..?!?

Edit: typos

Last edited by Fluke83 on 29 Sep 2010, 12:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have common silent meltdowns, where, inside, everything is screaming - there is just this scream constantly in my head, and I feel like going crazy. But in actual life, my body is completely still, I will be staring hard at something innate, although I will be rapidly flapping with either my foot or hand. Also, I might get teary-eyed, and hyperventilating.
Is that the kind of thing you get?
To me, they're similar to panic attacks.

When I get extremely angry, I often just storm off, since it's hard for me to verbally express my anger. I don't know if you'd call that a "silent meltdown" or not, but it's what I do.

Fluke 83: It is very unlikely someone with AS can control a meltdown. I find it almost impossible to stop the nervous system override, although I have gotten very good at getting myself to a private spot when I feel it coming on. When it does occur in public, I am more afraid of the embarrassment than the consequences. It really is amazing how people as rational and intelligent as aspies can't get control over something most people never experience or deal with rather easily.

Good point, ScottyN