Ranting no jutsu!

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I'm a bit pissed off right now. I auditioned for the dinner theatre that my friends in the club I'm in puts on every year. This was my last year and since I got a part every time before, I expected to at least be an understudy. No. Three girl parts, one taken by an experienced member and the others by new people. I was so f*****g pissed off that I feel unappreciated for all the work I've done for them. They said, "if you didn't make it, audition next year!" I said in a flat voice, "Some of us don't have a next year. I'm graduating." Everyone got silent. Apparently I was wrong for saying that but it's true! They said, "you can come back as an alumni" but I can't! I live too far away. I can't drive an hour and a half for several rehearsals a week. It just doesn't make any sense. I love them but due to the fact that I'll be working all the time dictates that I'll almost never see my friends again. Not to mention one of the freshman girls who got a part, walked home and kept saying how great it was for them to give her a part and I wanted to punch her in the face. >.<

Before I left, I went to give a congratulation hug to the freshman who took my understudy part and she freaked out and ran off. I know she's an Aspie too but she could have at least shook my hand. She gives people massages all the time so I don't get how she can't tolerate the sense of touch. Either way, it was really rude. I was already on the verge of tears as it was and she could have at least tried to be supportive. To be honest, her audition was worse than mine. The girl who did get the part is actually good so I have no qualms with her. The understudy asked if she wanted to surrender her part to me. She said, "nooo but I guess I should..." I doubt she'll follow through with it. As soon as I show up to practice, she'll act like it's hers again. Seniors get no f*****g respect here! >.<

In addition to my emotional drama happening this week I don't know how much more I can take. I'm tired of people making light out of my situations. It may seem small to you but it's a big deal to me. I just want to be appreciated. Can't anyone do that?

I'm sorry you didn't get the part, but that is how it is with any art. The opinions of the people holding the auditions are what counts, so even though you thought you were better....you know? It was maybe a little unprofessional to complain to them. Most people don't do that. I'm not telling you this to hurt your feelings- I hope you don't do this when you audition for other things because it makes you look immature and people do not understand about Asperger's most of the time. I have entered a lot of art contests and not won every time- you don't complain when your art isn't picked. The judges chose the winners (in your case, parts) based on their opinion, and there is nothing you can do to change that.

It is not the end of the world, though. You are graduating, as you said, so there are other important things for you to concentrate on. Maybe you can get involved with community theater wherever you live. As for the dinner theater- is there some way you can be involved in the production on another level? I'm sure they could use help with other things like props, lighting, costuming, etc. There are probably many positions that need filling in a stage production like that.

I'm sorry you are disappointed, and I hope you feel better!

I'm sorry you didn't get the part Erisad. I think your cutting response was spot on; you won't be there next year and the nice thing to do would have been to let you have at least the understudy role. Let them feel a bit bad!

People can be thoughtless though. I think they may have felt bad afterwards (especially after your comment) but people hate feeling bad; if they get the impression you're mad at them or want them to feel guilty, they'll get resentful.

One tactic might be to make yourself useful and help out behind the scenes as much as possible; they may (may) invent another role for you or show their appreciation in some other way. Even if they don't, doing so may allow you to forgive them.

Then again, if you're always the nice one, maybe a better tactic might be to be an actress and throw a stroppy fit; this is your last year after all. She who shouts loudest gets listened to. This way may backfire though and might not win you any friends. I would suggest asking why the other actress got the role though if her audition was worse than yours.

I'm not trying to make light of how pissed off you must feel at all; I would be furious and very hurt at this treatment. Anyone would be!

pumibel - I wasn't really complaining about how I was snubbed, it was how they assumed that I'll always be there. I won't because I can't. The director called me later last night to say that I was going to be an understudy for another part that I didn't audition for but was similar to one I played in the past (the original understudy had other commitments) and asked if I still wanted to edit the script. I accepted both offers. So now I'm understudying for the girl who was bragging about getting a part to me last night. She's a bit flaky and seems dumb (who leaves an Iphone on the table in a public place and just walks off? She's lucky I was watching it or it would have been stolen). Oh well, I'll see how s**t turns out. The people who I saw today didn't seem too pissed at me. Maybe they were but I couldn't read it. Also, I was in cast last year but the director we had was such a douche that I ended up quitting and was a food server instead. That was a worse experience because I had the rudest patrons. I wanted to be in cast this year to avoid being a server again (a role given to freshmen usually so they can learn the ropes). I don't know. Maybe the dummy will screw up and I'll get her part. That's how I got on cast as a new member. >.<

Lene - So...I do what I usually do anyway? I've busted my ass for this group which is why I feel a bit unappreciated. We usually don't invent "roles" unless s**t really hits the fan and we have to rewrite something because enough people dropped out or a fight was pulled or someone can't memorize their lines, etc. I usually am the agreeable one but I get blunt when I'm upset. I don't usually throw a large tantrum. I say one cutting remark and that's usually it. If I were to be the snobby actress type, I'd be like another upperclassmen who was snubbed at the auditions last night. Granted, she'll be there for another three years (keeps changing her major and partying too much) so she'll do whatever. A lot of people don't like her. For some reason, they still like me, regardless of my mood changes when s**t goes down. Or they talk about me behind my back and fake friendship to me when I'm around, I really don't know. :/