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Brundisium
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04 Oct 2010, 9:06 am

.....having an ASD, living with it, living with people who either don't understand or don't believe it, trying in vain to appear normal, feeling so lonely.

Don't you think?

Although out of all of those, I could live with everything else if NT people could just understand.


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Todesking
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04 Oct 2010, 9:13 am

How many NTs have told you too get over it? I have also have had co-workers tell me you need to get out more and be around people. :roll: If I took that advice I would be too depressed to do anything afterwords or in jail for snapping and kicking someone's head in. :roll:


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Brundisium
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04 Oct 2010, 9:22 am

Well the few NT's who have ever bothered to look into Aspergers enough to believe me say pretty much the same thing.

I think the most offensive response I ever got was "don't paint yourself with another persons brush", as though Aspergers was just some sort of label that I didn't have to attach myself to. I would have told him what a spectacular moron he was right there and then if he wasn't my boss.


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wavefreak58
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04 Oct 2010, 10:54 am

I don't expect people to be like me. But it seems I'm supposed to be like them

Something is wrong with that picture.



Sparrowrose
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04 Oct 2010, 11:47 am

Brundisium wrote:
I think the most offensive response I ever got was "don't paint yourself with another persons brush", as though Aspergers was just some sort of label that I didn't have to attach myself to. I would have told him what a spectacular moron he was right there and then if he wasn't my boss.


I think maybe an answer to "don't paint yourself with another persons brush" or any of the various "snap out of it" comments is, "would you say that about walking to someone in a wheelchair?" In other words, try to get them to realize that what they have done is the equivalent of telling a person in a wheelchair that a building is accessible because there are "only three steps" to get in.

I think the more that people realize that bullying us is like kicking the crutches out from under someone and telling us to "get over it" is like telling a person in a wheelchair to climb a flight of stairs then maybe, just maybe, the more they will come to be ashamed of the way they treat us.

But first they have to realize what it is that they are doing.


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Brundisium
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04 Oct 2010, 10:49 pm

That's a pretty good analogy.

The other comment they made during that conversation that I forgot about was "we're not going to treat you any different, inappropriate behaviour is inappropriate behaviour and we don't make any special considerations".

They broke several discrimination laws in one sentence.


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Philologos
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04 Oct 2010, 11:32 pm

I am told that in wartime would-be "conscientious objectors" could not be taken seriously unless they could show they belonged to a group officially recognized as being against war. An agnostic who truly abhorred all warfare as a matter of conscience was drafted; a nominal Quaker whose life was a trail of violent incidents did not have to head for the front.

So too now - do NOT expect toleration or accommodation unless you belong to one of the groups on the schedule of not to be oppressed minorities.



KSea
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06 Oct 2010, 1:25 pm

In response to your original comment about tiring--YES YES AND Y E S. Speaking of which, I think I must lay down for a short nap before going back to work w/ one of my clients who-=-anxiety city.



Brundisium
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10 Oct 2010, 11:26 pm

Today is tiring.

My work can be unpredictable sometimes and it really throws me.

Apparently I'm good at it regardless, but if I express how exhausting it is dealing with people all the time I face derision because they don't think anything's wrong with me.

Then again not saying anything just helps the problem silently get worse.


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thehandmedown
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10 Oct 2010, 11:40 pm

Brundisium wrote:
"don't paint yourself with another persons brush"


what in the heck is this supposed to mean!? why would you want to paint yourself with any brush anyways



Brundisium
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11 Oct 2010, 7:10 am

Well it was followed by "don't believe everything doctors tell you", so I assume it means he doesn't think I have aspergers.


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CockneyRebel
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11 Oct 2010, 8:52 am

thehandmedown wrote:
Brundisium wrote:
"don't paint yourself with another persons brush"


what in the heck is this supposed to mean!? why would you want to paint yourself with any brush anyways


I also have a hard time understanding that, as well. The only person who should be painting me with a brush, is God.


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Omnicognic
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11 Oct 2010, 9:10 am

Todesking wrote:
How many NTs have told you too get over it? I have also have had co-workers tell me you need to get out more and be around people. :roll: If I took that advice I would be too depressed to do anything afterwords or in jail for snapping and kicking someone's head in. :roll:


This was my Father's repsonse before hanging up on me. I am not going to waste energy trying to build a bridge too far.. obviously some "NTs" have their own issues..


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Kiseki
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11 Oct 2010, 10:45 am

Dude, tell me about it. I've gotten the "All you need to do is get outta the house more" line so many times it's not funny. Well, seriously, if people weren't such asses I WOULD get outta the house more. But everytime I go anywhere normal people socialize I wind up feeling more alone and more like an outsider than before.

One of my friends keeps asking me why I like to be alone so much and why I've never had a relationship with anyone and on and on and on. I guess she means well but it just pisses me off! I've started to hate going to gay events (I'm gay) cuz there is this expectation by everyone for me to be able to hook up with somebody really easily. I'd rather hang out with a bunch of 50 yr. old men so at least people will stop asking what my problem is.



yellowtamarin
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11 Oct 2010, 5:48 pm

Yesterday I had a meeting with my honours supervisor, and we were discussing me applying for an extension on my thesis submission (due to sleepiness issues). I mentioned some difficulty I've been having as while studying up on AS I've discovered that it fits me so well, and so I've been emotionally affected by what's supposed to be an objective study.

He went on then about how AS traits would be very common in a fourth year uni student, e.g. perfectionism, neuroticism, intraversion, so I shouldn't be thinking I am high on the spectrum. I could tell right then that there was no point arguing the point, he was not going to get what I meant. It's impossible to get NTs to understand the difficulties associated with AS when we are trying so hard (and often very convincingly) to cover them up day-to-day.



James0Zero
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11 Oct 2010, 7:09 pm

I'm afraid some of my friends think this way... Especially my gf right now. The irony of the matter is that she's the person I suspect most of having it herself.


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