an opening to a story

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so, iv wrote this in literally 5 minutes and i was wondering if you guys could critique it

The M.A.R.C.O. Defenders
working title

Max never wanted this, this idealism, all the fame, all he wanted was a normal life, away from these people he once called friends, but now describes as.....freaks, he never thought his name would be plastered on a plaque, celebrating a false prophet, he would put a stop to this, retire, and reveal his identity, “my name is Max...”, Max forgot, he was allergic to bullets.

6 months earlier

the city of M.A.R.C.O. Was silent, which was quite out of the ordinary, usually by now the city was alight with flames and angry mobs, but not tonight, tonight, Firebug would have to put his Molotov on ice.

When Firebug was little he had always dreamed of making a difference, but his parents had always shunned his dreams by sending him to a public school, everyday after leaving that hell hole he would go to the local comic book store, he would spend hours everyday reading about the man of steel, the dark knight, and a friendly neighbourhood spider-man, but he never really liked those hero's, he always thought they were to unrealistic, so when he grew up, he became Firebug, lord of the flame.

His man at arms was the infamous marksmen, a mysterious elite soldier, with the ability to shoot bullets out of the sky, with other bullets, that’s all they know about him, the papers say he escaped a prison, others say he was a military experiment, but Firebug knew, he was just trying to make a difference.

“hey mark, beautiful night isn’t it”said Firebug, while looking over the dimly lit ally,
”yeah I heard this before, its to quite, blah blah blah” joked Mark, bug never really got marks humour, but it did make him laugh, “so, nothing over the police scanner?” asked mark,
“nothing, it broke remember?” explained bug, pointing to the crumpled mess under his coat,
“hey look, I didn’t mean to kick you, you know I'm not a fighter”, “exactly, we need a melee guy, but all you have found....” bug was interrupted by a loud scream from the ally, mark and bug looked on to see if they were needed

This is good. You've got a gift for story-telling, and for plot development and characterization. Write on!

It needs proofreading, which I can do if you like, without charge. I can't see anything in particular that's wrong. It's not wrong but it is a first draft, and a very good one imho.

Have you heard of National Write a Novel in a Month?

http://www.nanowrimo.org/

It's exciting if you're a writer, and you are - you could start with what you already have.

I really like the plot! I like the whole idea of a superhero tired of being a superhero, and the character seems so real in a short little paragraph! The only thing you need to work on is the grammar....

you need to make the sentences a bit easier to read. so like if you were speaking them out loud they would roll off the tongue. for example, putting "this, this" right at the very start made it a bit difficult to get into the story if that makes sense. Itd be better if the first sentence was less fussy and had more impact. itd make it easier to work out what's going on straight away and make you want to read further. And all those commas leave you with big massive sentences that have lot's of different points in, which can be a bit hard to digest.
I think just work on your sentence structure and it'd be good:)