My Senses Are Stuffed.

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Hello,

Other than AS, I have OCD. Before it was diagnosed and treated, I had obsessions of blasphemy, homosexuality and Pedophilia. I was close to attempting suicide. Fortunately I received treatment, combining CBT and Fluvoxamine (Luvox). Now my OCD symptoms are close to being eliminated.

There is some other strange effect that has been happening to my mind, since childhood - a sensory dysfunction of sorts. Whenever I hear things that are of importance, I have a strong tendency of losing most of the auditory information that I'd just attained, often within a few seconds, despite having good peripheral hearing. Many people deride me as being listless and a 'selective hearer', but unfortunately, I have never been able to help it, I just cannot understand or remember what I hear on regular occasions.

I cannot tone down my volume. I can never sense how loud I'm speaking. Attempting to 'tone down' results in a Russian roulette effect, sometimes I'm softer, sometimes I'm LOUDER.

I also have a tendency of missing visual information of whatever I'm looking at - I can concentrate on two or three objects at a time, but everything else is blurred into the aether; I cannot see what else is 'there', or what's 'missing', unless I am shown it by somebody else. It tends to be 'before my eyes' - in my line of sight - but I did not realize this, 'cus I couldn't separate the single object from the whole 'image' of what I was seeing.

Even stranger, is that the scattered strings of visual and auditory information that remain in my mind tend to get skewered, sometimes; because when my mind tries to make sense of the remaining input, it tends to 'fill in the gaps', in an attempt to make of what I'm perceiving coherent and understandable - This process, unfortunately, happens automatically, and I cannot control it; I cannot determine even when it occurs. Unfortunately, this process often lands me into trouble, because then my sense of perspective becomes radically different to what is actually there - objects and subjects go missing, change dramatically, or are entirely made up. At its worst, I feel like I'm having delusions, because I don't know what is right or wrong, true or false. I cannot trust my senses much at all, and this frightens me - I have the potential of causing damage to to others' property and reputation (which has already happened), based upon the fallacy of what I supposedly did or did not 'see' or 'hear'.

sensory distrurbances can be caused by anxiety.

also, it sounds like you may have an auditory processing disorder, but it's hard to say.