10 Oct 2010, 7:23 am
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,740
Location: the island of defective toy santas
10 Oct 2010, 7:43 am
10 Oct 2010, 7:53 am
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,740
Location: the island of defective toy santas
10 Oct 2010, 11:41 am
i've always had poor executive functioning. i never can make choices very well. i can choose something quickly or well, but not both. i am hopeless in a restaurant, as it takes me up to a half-hour of studying even the most basic menu to make a choice. so i stay at home and eat out of cans and boxes. beats starving to death.
anyways, the following terms resonate with me-
Alertness- the only time i am truly alert is when i am keyed-up over something. then i am hyper-alert. noise makes me take notice. other than that, i am pretty clueless most of the time.
Ambition (normal ambition, normal drive) - i have very little ambition. it was beaten out of me when i was young.
Asperger - yup, that's me. though i didn't find out about it per se until i was well into middle age, too late to make much of a difference in my life.
Attention - see alertness above
Attention Deficit(s) - inattentive type. i learned about this too late to be of any benefit.
Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity - am always rocking or tapping my limbs or massaging myself in an attempt at self-comforting. other than that, i don't fall into the hyperactive category, but am at the opposite end from it.
Attention Span - when the noise abates, so does my attention. i can't seem to follow a movie for longer than 5 minutes or so before my attention is diverted by something or it just drifts of its own accord. thank god for the back button.
Autism - it seems to run in my family tree.
Body Balance - clumsy, poor proprioception. i'm always banging various body parts against hard unyielding objects in my environment. i'm always stubbing my poor long-suffering toe or something.
Brain Glitch (subtle brain injury, side-effect sports/other concussion, etc.)- more than subtle, less than totally disabling. my judgment often deserts me mid-task.
Breathing - for various reasons i tend to be a mouth breather. i have limited aerobic capacity so only moderate exertion is enough to make me pant- this despite years of vigorous aerobic/anaerobic exercise.
Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) - never diagnosed formally but i always manage to hear things wrong.
Communication - i am often misunderstood and i often misconstrue things.
Comprehension - mostly absent.
Concentration - see Comprehension above
Conversation - i talk to-and-with myself better than i do with anybody else.
Crossing the Midline of the Body - i am tall and gangly, and there is a lot of bending required for me to do physically low-level tasks, which i hate to do as it is Sooooooo uncomfortable, at times painful. low-back problems take their toll on my activity in this regard.
Curiosity - like the cat. sometimes i wish i were a bit less curious.
Decision Making - poor at best. it takes me too long and i never have enough time or neuronal horsepower on hand to make the best choices.
Definite Life Purpose - just putting up with it for as long as possible, and incidentally learning something now and then. i honor the golden rule above all other rules.
Desire (burning desire) - it mostly burnt out as a younger man, from lack of stuff to feed the fires of desire and to keep them burning.
Distractible - very.
Effective - hardly.
Efficient - see Effective above.
Empathy - i do care deeply about other people but am lousy at expressing it.
Energy Level - moderate at best, but often only at generally normal levels when something or another lights a fire under me.
Executive Function - dismal. slow and defective, like expecting an 8086 CPU to do real-time video - not gonna happen.
Family - mostly dispersed. i will never have one of my own. i have no business being anybody's parent. a housecat would make a better father than me.
Focus - mostly fuzzy, poorly directed, intermittent. not able to maintain anything resembling a focused state for more than a few minutes at a time, with frequent rest periods in between focused states. it takes way too much energy to stay focused for long.
Gross and Fine Motor Control - mediocre at best. despite practicing for years, any kindergartener could still outperform me playing on the organ or keyboard. i type rapidly only because of decades of practice but i still make way too many mistakes and the most-used key is "backspace." the only sport i could play was badminton only because the shuttlecock would deliberately float through the air so slowly that i could play games with myself. me and staircases are not on good terms. i can't count the number of times i've fallen on my tuckas while descending the steps which are always too short and slippery for my clumsy big flat feet.
Hearing - fouled with tinnitus, for as long as i could remember. but strangely the tinnitus sometimes goes away during attention-grabbing events, then returns when things calm down. strange. otherwise very keen. when i was younger and with sharper hearing, i could hear the sound a fly made as it walked on a wall. i can still hear the sound of feathers rubbing together and air currents being excited as birds fly overhead.
Initiative - poor. external locus of control. free will is a myth to me. nearly all of my best-laid plans have gone awry, and nothing i can conceive-of seems to have any powers to change this.
Joy - i have been blessed with the odd joyful moment, though often in stendahl's syndrome's vividly breathless urgency. some pieces of music have left me weeping in agonizing rapture.
Learning - i enjoy learning new things.
List Making - i have to make lists in order to make sense out of my life.
Listening - i try to listen to everything around me, but i try not to listen to my own breathing or heart beat or other internal bodily functions, as these tend to worry me. i will listen to anybody who speaks to me unless they are abusive, at which point i stop listening and start running for the escape hatch.
Lovingkindness - i value this above all others.
Memory - like an elephant with a buggy and insufficient RAM module. i wish i could erase some memories and replace them with more happy ones. i don't really need to remember any of my army years but they stick with me still. oh well.
Motivation - nothing motivates like a pitchfork in the tuckas. i am forced to do the minimum for survival, but almost nothing motivates me for grander purpose.
Neurology - buggy. all too aware of aches and pains and general discomfort both within and without. my memory plays tricks with me. my senses play tricks with me. i need more treats and less tricks.
Numbers - i am inumerate. i might be innumerate as well, but i don't know for sure.
Peers - i have none. never have had any i would consider peers.
Planning - poor and rarely effective.
Ponder - i do this often, but dimly.
Processing Challenge (too fast, too slow, incomplete, imperfect, fractionated, etc.) vs Deficit-
i think i need a better 
to answer this one correctly. but from what i can understand, i have a too-slow CPU and insufficient memory, and both are too buggy to be considered reliable. i definitely consider this a deficit in my personal effectiveness.
Productivity - see Processing Challenge above.
Project Completion - only if the goals are very modest. see Processing Challenge above.
Psychology - have been in therapy more years than not, to limited utility.
Senses (the Five Senses) - comic red skelton once said he preferred the sixth sense to the other five. i agree somewhat, with the stipulation that i get to keep ALL of 'em.
Sensory Overload - very low limit. stendahl's syndrome is my brain's way of telling me "TOO MUCH TOO SOON!" i swoon when exposed to more than a little beauty, be it physical or existential. hermithood is my way of avoiding overstimulation from exposure to "civilization."
Sensory Processing - buggy. am prone to migraines with scatoma, both visual and aural. both types are disabling, in that the visual migraines blind me and the aural ones deafen me.
Sequencing - very poor, which goes along with poor decision-making ability. i could not organize myself into any form of logical flow, to save my own life. no multitasking ability whatsoever.
Shapes (puzzle pieces, etc.) - on the WAIS, i barely completed this task. i have poor spatial reasoning ability, IOW i have a terrible time manipulating 3-dimentional objects in my head.
Skill (skills, talents) - limited to digital audio restoration tasks for which i am justifiably proud. other than that i am pretty talentless. i dearly wished i had musical talent, for i have a need for artistic expression which lacks any outlet.
Sociable - i tend to be "the thing that won't leave." left to my own devices i tend to be a big floppy sloppy overly affectionate puppy. i was needy and clingy when i was younger, but now that i have learned to comfort myself i tend to be emotionally self-sufficient and solitary.
Speech - stilted and monotonic, alternating with inappropriately singsong prosody. not ready for prime-time.
Sustained Attention- mostly absent.
Teamwork- nobody wants me on their team. in school PE class, when it came time for kids to choose sides, i always ended up in the office doing paperwork and being thankful for it.
Thought - i try to think only happy thoughts. mostly i succeed in this.
Time - never enough of this always-short commodity.
Using the Imagination - inadequate for most creative tasks. an artist i am not.
12 Oct 2010, 12:08 am
12 Oct 2010, 12:13 am
Needy, PDD-NOS, borderline, bipolar, ADD, inattentive, bored, depressed, anxious, embarrassed, chagrin, sensitive, understimulated, wanting, remorse, condescended, atypical, normal, confused, frustrated, angry, vengeful, indignant, hateful, loving, extremist, fundamentalist, kind, one track mind, more too.
looks just like an AGPT result trait snapshot, so it'd probably be easier to just have people post those up
Example:
Link:
http://similarminds.com/global-adv.html
12 Oct 2010, 12:18 am
13 Oct 2010, 7:16 pm
Asperger- yep.
Conversation- conversations never go well for me unless they're with someone i really know or if they're not face to face.
Empathy- i have little of it. sympathy, yes. but the most empathy i have is with a tv character.
Hearing- i have very sensitive hearing. which is a good thing, sometimes.
Hyperactivity- i have mania. 
Memory- really horrible memory, my first memory is from when i was 7, does anyone know if asperger's plays a role in that?
Motivation- way too much of it for a teenager.
Paying Attention- if i want to, then i can pay attention to anything. easily.
Peers- are mostly too stupid for me.
Productivity- like i said, i have a wonderful attention span, i can get schoolwork done quickly and easily.
Psychology- therapy.
Senses (the Five Senses)- senses. are sensitive.
Skill (skills, talents)- i've discovered a few.
Thought- i don't ever have intelligible thoughts to myself, they're just random bursts of words and pictures and sounds and sensations that i mush together to talk.
