Enough of the 'Damn women rejected me' threads please
I've seen a lot of posts lately with the attitude that women somehow owe it to men to go out with them and more, and if a woman turns a guy down, she is a "b***h", is being unreasonable, has the wrong attitude, etc.
All you dudes...you know who you are...please look at yourselves instead of blaming women for not happening to desire YOU. It's not a woman's responsibility to go out with you just because you fulfil some entry level criteria such as not being ugly, buying her stuff or earning a certain amount. It's her life and she has every right to say 'no', whether it's because she'd prefer to stay single right now, or because you are a fair haired Caucasian and she prefers dark skinned men, or whatever. It's her right. Go find someone who DOES want you, like everyone else.
How hard is it to accept that someone choosing you as a partner is a privilege, not an entitlement? Seriously. If I ask a guy out I don't cop an entitled attitude about it, and I don't blame him if he says no. He has no obligation to like me just because I'm not actually deformed or mentally subnormal and I have breasts. He has EVERY right not to desire me. Maybe he prefers being single. Maybe my body language tells him I'm agitated, over-serious, and aggressive (seems to be my default state, LOL). IT DOESN'T MATTER. It's HIS right to reject me and MY job to go find myself a guy who DOES want to be with me. How hard is it to show this basic respect for another human's choices and boundaries??
In a nutshell, before lashing out at women because you feel entitled, ask yourself some questions and give yourself some honest answers.
_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)
Who cares about rejection, get in there and Grab it while you still can, Unless you live on the pressipass of life you won't ever find out what Will be.
You've got to go out and ask a Pretty girl out once in awhile, and if it ends in rejection.
Yesterday I managed to pluck up the courage to Ask my first Girl out on a date.
I'm sick of waiting around, I've got to chase after them If I want a date.
Other wise I'll end up like Steve Carrell
Well, plenty of other fish in the sea
You've got to go out and ask a Pretty girl out once in awhile, and if it ends in rejection.
Well, plenty of other fish in the sea
I'm just afraid I'll f**k it up for everyone involved. Sigh, this is such a hard game and I don't know jack s**t about social cues, social skills, and how to talk to women in general. I don't ask for numbers for fear of being called a creep(which I can do to some people), and everytime I approach a woman/girl it ends up a blunder.
I can't keep the aspie in me in check. I need to keep the aspie in me under CHECK.
You've got to go out and ask a Pretty girl out once in awhile, and if it ends in rejection.
Well, plenty of other fish in the sea
I'm just afraid I'll f**k it up for everyone involved. Sigh, this is such a hard game and I don't know jack sh** about social cues, social skills, and how to talk to women in general. I don't ask for numbers for fear of being called a creep(which I can do to some people), and everytime I approach a woman/girl it ends up a blunder.
Every blunder is an attempt to converse that is made and what is the harm in trying if your not going to take a Leap.
You f**k up more not Asking than you do not trying, and a few women might say no and some might be delighted to be Asked.
Just keep on trying because you might just crack that Walnut if you keep trying
Slightly off topic but still within limits of
the thread.
Why should I be with a girlfrend?
"Society" seems to think I should be.
I don't want to date I want to go
outside and play in my yard, with my
Hotwheels and GI Joes and my Legos.
Besides, I am not mature, I don't have
any money, and I'm ugly HAHAHAHAHAHA
that shood keep them (male or female)
away from me.
_________________
A Boy And His Cat
When society stops expecting
too much from me, I will
stop disappointing them.
nthach -
don't stop trying. With every woman you learn something and in that you gain more knowledge ...
The worst that can be said is "No, I don't want to go out with you." and that simply means that you have eliminated one more from the pool who is not right for you. IT is a positive thing really...
Statistically speaking you have to date at least 100 women to find one who is compatible (read it somewhere) so if you never handle the 99 rejections how will you get to the one "Yes" that makes all the difference?
And if it helps women also fear rejection.
Go with a smile, introduce yourself and talk about the weather, something she is wearing (earrings or necklace are safe) ... don't do any compliments until you get to know her better ... or her car even ... whatever is there at the moment ... and smile. Ask about her interests and then ask her if you can call her sometime ...
She is into you if she is smiling and leaning in towards you, maybe touches your arm or shoulder .. there is an article somewhere that goes into all of this ...
Yes, on Askmen.com ... here is some of the article ... go there and read their stuff ... it is really insightful ...
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_ ... dvice.html
She points in your direction with her leg, foot or shoulders.
She leans toward you while talking.
She plays with or tosses her hair.
She fidgets with a piece of jewelry (like an earring) or strokes the stem of her glass.
She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks.
She mirrors your body movements (for example, if you put your hand on the table, she quickly does the same).
She smiling when you check her out.
_________________
Greendragon flies
the thread.
Why should I be with a girlfrend?
"Society" seems to think I should be.
I don't want to date I want to go
outside and play in my yard, with my
Hotwheels and GI Joes and my Legos.
Besides, I am not mature, I don't have
any money, and I'm ugly HAHAHAHAHAHA
that shood keep them (male or female)
away from me.
Sounds good!
You ain't the only one...of your sex.
I'm having the same trouble but with men who expect me to BE the fair. We have trouble too when we ain't rich or full of what attracts you bees.
_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
happymusic
Veteran
Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land
I think there's a lot of inflated ego that needs to be popped around here. The idea I'm getting is that a lot of men are just blaming the women for the failure because god forbid the problem lies within themselves. It's something I went through as a teenager myself. I had a rather "high" view of myself as a kid too. And when I was rejected the first time, I wandered between wanting to blame her and wanting to kill myself... for about 3 years. Now, I know for a fact that it is me that is defective.
I think there's a lot of inflated ego that needs to be popped around here. The idea I'm getting is that a lot of men are just blaming the women for the failure because god forbid the problem lies within themselves. It's something I went through as a teenager myself. I had a rather "high" view of myself as a kid too. And when I was rejected the first time, I wandered between wanting to blame her and wanting to kill myself... for about 3 years. Now, I know for a fact that it is me that is defective.
Could that be a theory of mind (lack of) thing?
I get so sick and tired that it doesn't matter. People are more willing to empathize with a man that it doesn't matter. I've learn not to care anymore as harsh as that sounds. Women aren't suppose to attracted to the opposite sex and if it is...it's only for their money or so I've been told.
Hell I can't even identify with most of my sex.
_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
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