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Descartes
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16 Oct 2010, 4:32 am

Have you ever seen a person whom you had never seen before, and just decided instantaneously that you disliked that person, without even saying a word to them?

I recall a year or so ago, when I was still in high school, I saw this one guy in a muscle shirt. He looked very shady and, frankly, a little douchebagish, and I just got negative vibes from him.

At the same time, when I was a freshman in high school, I became friends with this one girl who told me that she originally got bad vibes from me because she thought I didn't look like a very nice person. It was sort of funny. :roll:

Has anyone ever had this kind of experience?



Asp-Z
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16 Oct 2010, 5:04 am

Yeah, I think everyone who can read facial expressions gets this, but I try to ignore it because I know it's stupid to make any kind of judgment about people you've never even bothered to get to know.



auntblabby
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16 Oct 2010, 5:45 am

the reptilian part of my brain makes me very wary of people who remind me of bad people i knew before.



CaptainTrips222
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16 Oct 2010, 6:08 am

Everyone has. I refuse to allow myself to be so stupid though.



Aimless
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16 Oct 2010, 6:18 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
Everyone has. I refuse to allow myself to be so stupid though.


Yes, sometimes you have a negative reaction for reasons that are not valid. I have had negative first impressions and

then later gone on to have a wonderful friendship with the person because I chose to listen to my reason and not my

little lizard brain. I think instinct is valid but should always be tempered with reason. Sometimes the negative feelings are

our own problem, not theirs.



Chronos
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16 Oct 2010, 6:35 am

Descartes wrote:
Have you ever seen a person whom you had never seen before, and just decided instantaneously that you disliked that person, without even saying a word to them?

I recall a year or so ago, when I was still in high school, I saw this one guy in a muscle shirt. He looked very shady and, frankly, a little douchebagish, and I just got negative vibes from him.

At the same time, when I was a freshman in high school, I became friends with this one girl who told me that she originally got bad vibes from me because she thought I didn't look like a very nice person. It was sort of funny. :roll:

Has anyone ever had this kind of experience?


No. My first impressions can be quite wrong on occasion so I generally give the person the benefit of the doubt and get to know them before I form a clear idea of them in my head.

I have a friend of whom my first impression was that he was the shallow, social, club scene type but through an odd set of circumstances we came to know eachother better and I discovered he was actually quite introspective, empathetic, sincere, and fairly religious, and his trendy designer clothes were just an attempt to fit in as he was new to the area.

I have also noticed people typically get the wrong impression of me.

I think especially if one has AS, it's important not to jump to conclusions about people because your first impression of them could be very wrong, and their first impression of you could be very wrong.



Guitar_Girl
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16 Oct 2010, 6:41 am

Yes, I am very judgemental. Im sorry if I offend anyone on here, but when I see gothic people, people with alot of tattoos, or people with alot of face piercings I just don't like them. Some are probably nice people, Im sure of it. I dont like females who wear alot of make up, wear tight clothes, do their hear, etc.



jakewp
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16 Oct 2010, 7:15 am

I had many experiences in life telling me my first impressions based on people looking are not valid and fail most of the time.
On the other hand, I'm very judgmental on people personalities. People who are too much self confident, emotionally manipulative, who talk on others back, bullies, I use to dislike.


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16 Oct 2010, 7:55 am

No.


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16 Oct 2010, 10:55 am

I have a hard time evaluating people in that way. I don't think I form what can really be called a first impression, other than perhaps inferring a few things about a person's career and values from his clothing and general appearance (which falls short of being a first impression, since that term connotes some sort of value judgment in the context of this thread). Once I get to know someone I might form some sort of hypothetical judgment about him, but I'll always keep in mind that what I know could be misleading. Therefore it's hard to say that I'm "wrong" in my initial perceptions, or even my later ones. I would say that it hinders me from achieving social informality.

But that does not apply to evaluating books, art, entertainment (actors), and so forth. In fields such as these I have been both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised.



rchamberlin
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16 Oct 2010, 11:21 am

In my case, I can't trust my judgment of other people because I often don't like them because I see my flaws in them. In other words, I don't like them because they remind me of things I don't like about me.

It goes both ways as well. If somebody doesn't like me on first meeting me, it's probably because we are so much alike.

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techn0teen
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16 Oct 2010, 7:10 pm

Everytime I have that feeling, I find out that person is a douche.

I listen to it. For a person with autism, I have this uncanny intuition that I need to listen to.

I always give people a chance. But then if it looks a like douche, talks like a douche, and acts like a douche, it is very safe to assume it is a douche.



auntblabby
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16 Oct 2010, 11:08 pm

when i see men wearing suit and tie, and with military-short hair, i immediately am on guard. there is an old joke, "what is a lawsuit? dark blue with pin stripes."



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17 Oct 2010, 2:00 am

No. If they treated me bad I do. It can also be their attitude too.

I am sure people have disliked me on the spot. I know people have disliked me even though I never did anything to them nor have ever spoken to them. I assume it was based on my behavior and me being different so they didn't like me. They even said they don't like me when someone would say they do and that kid would say "No I don't." Plus few of them would even say they don't like me. Kids are more honest eh?

Now as an adult it's impossible to know because they are not going to tell you they don't like you. Only way to tell is how they treat you. If they treat you like dirt or are mean to you, then it's obvious they don't like you. Same as if they are snotty towards you and have a negative attitude. But if they are treating me with respect and always talking to me and are friendly with me, I am not going to know they don't like me. Instead I would assume they must like me. I'd be surprised if they didn't. I heard if people don't ever talk to me, it means they don't like me but I think that is inaccurate. I don't talk to lot of people but that doesn't mean I don't like them. But however if someone was always ignoring me when I speak to them, then I might assume they must not like me.

Sometimes people do have a negative thoughts on a person based on what they have on because of their past experience. Like let's say someone has been assaulted by someone in a trench coat, they see a stranger wearing a trench coat and right away they dislike that person assuming they must be part of a gang. Or let's say they kept seeing in the media about trench coat wearers hiding weapons under there, they are going to assume every trench coat wearer is a criminal so of course they are going to judge.



AldousH
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17 Oct 2010, 10:12 am

Yes, I do. But try to give them the benefit of a doubt.

I don't think these bad vibes we get are strictly linked with the "reptilian brain" that we shouldn't listen to. Another person's image is after all a visual impression. Which is automatically interpreted by our highly evolved brains.

Psychologists have argued that there is a close link between our faces and our personalities. Meaning that judging somebody by its looks is not such a stupid thing. This does make a lot of sense from an evolutionary point of view.

Ever noticed how you can easily tell between nurses and doctors in a hospital even if you're not familiar with the uniforms?



Last edited by AldousH on 19 Oct 2010, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.