Live and Let Live: Yes Preferences are Limiting but . . . .

Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

HopefulRomantic
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 399
Location: Atlanta, GA

20 Oct 2010, 6:55 am

everyone is entitled have their own preferences in terms of what they want in a viable romantic match (or if they even want a relationship for that matter).

Some people are gay, some are asexual, some value money, some value physical appearance, some people want a religious person, some people are virgins and want to date another virgin. And So it Goes said Vonnegut.

I think the qualities someone deems desirable in a viable romantic match is a personal, private matter (very much like choosing one's
religion or lack thereof).

Agreeing to disagree works for me when I hold a different opinion from someone else. With the caveat that it is said with respect, I think people can exchange opposing viewpoints without resorting to bashing one another.

Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?

Any takers?



Last edited by HopefulRomantic on 20 Oct 2010, 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

Aimless
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,187

20 Oct 2010, 7:14 am

Unfortunately, I agree with you, so you'll get no fight from me. :)



LostAlien
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,577

20 Oct 2010, 7:22 am

Aimless wrote:
Unfortunately, I agree with you, so you'll get no fight from me. :)

+1



Kaybee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,446
Location: A hidden forest

20 Oct 2010, 8:04 am

Who knew we were harboring such radicals here on the Wrong Planet?


_________________
"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."


LostAlien
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,577

20 Oct 2010, 8:22 am

HopefulRomantic wrote:
everyone is entitled have their own preferences in terms of what they want in a viable romantic match (or if they even want a relationship for that matter).

Some people are gay, some are asexual, some value money, some value physical appearance, some people want a religious person, some people are virgins and want to date another virgin. And So it Goes said Vonnegut.

I think the qualities someone deems desirable in a viable romantic match is a personal, private matter (very much like choosing one's
religion or lack thereof).

Agreeing to disagree works for me when I hold a different opinion from someone else. With the caveat that it is said with respect, I think people can exchange opposing viewpoints without resorting to bashing one another.

Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?

Any takers?

Possibly.

Also possible is that the insulters have no way to argue their point (and remain respectful) and thus resort to hurtful words.

Also possible, that the insulters have a less worldly view and thus think their way is the only way things should be, thus justifying bad behaviour.

Or it could simply be that some people are jerks.

There could be other reasons but I just can't think of them at the moment.



Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

20 Oct 2010, 8:25 am

A person's choice for a partner is their choice. If not, then maybe I should go contest the marriage of the woman I like the look of.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 104,734
Location: Canada in person, Germany in spirit

20 Oct 2010, 11:25 am

I also agree as well. We are all different and ve all have different values, in this area.


_________________
Peabody

Om Nom 2024

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=26&start=645


ToadOfSteel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,157
Location: New Jersey

20 Oct 2010, 11:37 am

HopefulRomantic wrote:
everyone is entitled have their own preferences in terms of what they want in a viable romantic match (or if they even want a relationship for that matter).

Some people are gay, some are asexual, some value money, some value physical appearance, some people want a religious person, some people are virgins and want to date another virgin. And So it Goes said Vonnegut.

I think the qualities someone deems desirable in a viable romantic match is a personal, private matter (very much like choosing one's
religion or lack thereof).

Agreeing to disagree works for me when I hold a different opinion from someone else. With the caveat that it is said with respect, I think people can exchange opposing viewpoints without resorting to bashing one another.

Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?

Any takers?


I have preferences, but there's no way i'd every meet a woman that met every single one of them (or even half of them)... which is why i usually ignore most of my preferences and focus on the one thing i can't control: whether she likes me back or not...



theWanderer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 996

20 Oct 2010, 12:40 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
I have preferences, but there's no way i'd every meet a woman that met every single one of them (or even half of them)... which is why i usually ignore most of my preferences and focus on the one thing i can't control: whether she likes me back or not...


But I think the point is, still, you are the one who should decide which of your preferences you're willing to ignore, and which you aren't. Some people hold out for the whole long list of what they'd like, and never find anyone, while others settle for the first person they can get. That is just another area where every individual should make their own choice. Any preference from 'alive and interested' all the way to 'must match every quality I'd like and look exactly like the picture I have in my mind' is reasonable, for someone. Yes, some people are more likely to find a partner than others, but they're free to adjust their standards whenever they realise that. There is absolutely nothing about granting each person's freedom to have their own preferences which says otherwise.


_________________
AQ Test = 44 Aspie Quiz = 169 Aspie 33 NT EQ / SQ-R = Extreme Systematising
===================
Not all those who wander are lost.
===================
In the country of the blind, the one eyed man - would be diagnosed with a psychological disorder


Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

20 Oct 2010, 12:43 pm

HopefulRomantic wrote:
Is the driving force (impetus) behind intentionally insulting other people the need to perpetuate misery (as in misery loves company)?


No, the people doing the insulting mistakenly believe that making another 'miserable' will bring them satisfaction, pleasure, or happiness.


_________________
Not currently a moderator