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Hollietheflower
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01 Jun 2006, 2:26 pm

please can someone tell me what emotional intelligence is all about?
I am not quite sure whether i am AS or not you see, so anything that is linked wih it . i want to know about.
thank-you
hollietheflower
x



donkey
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01 Jun 2006, 2:45 pm

hi hollie.
David 34 As male here.....also uk
emotional intelligence is briefly..the ability to recognise the communication and social skills required to cultivate a social interaction.

you may the smartest person with a very high IQ, but more recognisable these days is not only s general high intelligence quotient (IQ) but also a high Emotional quotient (EQ)
Aspergers people have very poor EQ, we want to get a job or a task done without the distraction of "people" or chit chat or socialising or engagin g with others, we are very task orientated.

As an AS male one needs to recognise that an EQ is as important as an IQ.



TijuanaLady
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01 Jun 2006, 4:01 pm

Do you know any decent EQ online tests?
I remember taking 1-2 in the past, but they didn't seem very accurate...



donkey
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01 Jun 2006, 4:07 pm

there are no decent on;line tests in my opinion...dont do the typical impulse thing and get and \eq number just to have one....the best thing you can do is learn what an EQ is and how to cultivate a better EQ.......Emotional intelligence by Goleman changed my life...try it before oyu take any defunct test.
test dont work are inaccurate and dont tell you anything.



Hollietheflower
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01 Jun 2006, 4:31 pm

donkey wrote:
hi hollie.
David 34 As male here.....also uk
emotional intelligence is briefly..the ability to recognise the communication and social skills required to cultivate a social interaction.

you may the smartest person with a very high IQ, but more recognisable these days is not only s general high intelligence quotient (IQ) but also a high Emotional quotient (EQ)
Aspergers people have very poor EQ, we want to get a job or a task done without the distraction of "people" or chit chat or socialising or engagin g with others, we are very task orientated.

As an AS male one needs to recognise that an EQ is as important as an IQ.




thank -you donkey! i do feel that maybe i have a low emotional intelligence , i am a very focused when it comes to my interests and i hate distractions , they really frustrate me.
And when it comes to chit chat, most of the time i can't be arsed, unless it is with a really close friend- but the thing is with this whole aspergers and EQ thing is that you can never be 100% sure about any of it- and it maddens me! The brain is too complex to be catoragorised - i found out about AS on wikipedia- thats when i could relate to quite a few of the characteristics but not all of them - but i have always felt different to people and stuff so thats what leads me to feel i have it.
i told my mum the other day , that i feel i might have it and i explained it to her , she asked me if i wanted to go to the doctors , i said i would think about it because i feel stupid going to the doctors , what if i don't have it? i'll feel like such an idiot!
what do you think i should do? do think i should go to the doctors?

ALSO i would like to know is.... if i was diagnosed with it ... what would happen?

thanks
hollietheflower x



TijuanaLady
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01 Jun 2006, 4:33 pm

Thanx a lot donkey! :wink:
I'll check it out.



donkey
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01 Jun 2006, 4:44 pm

hi hollie

yip distractions frustrate me too.....the worst distraction is a ringing phone ....even when i am having quiet time i cant tolerate a ringing phone......and salesmen?...dont start me!
so recognising the words frustration and distraction stick out to ma as an aspie.
women ARE BETTER at masking AS as they can learn better to socially adapt and make chit chat so your comments here are consistent...hard core male aspies just dont chit chat, they just dont..women aspies do as they have learned how too.

yip definetly go to the doctors...aspie people find it difficult to ask for help dont feel stupid, if you dont have it, you could be depressed or have another problem there.....do not ever be scared of going to see a doctor..also nhs is slow in uk...most doctors will refer you to a psychiatrist...dont let this scare you, but most psychs will misdiagnose AS as schiziod disorder...sch a comon complaint amongst aspies....i went private in a child aspie specialist to get a diagnosis. took a while on th enhs and the psychiatrist got it wrong...not her faault.....it is a "new" disorder and few are capable of confidently diagnosisng it...but go to your doctor just go.


if you are diagnosed with it...two things and only two things will happen...you will deny you have it...or you will accept it.....if you accept it..you will have daily "aahh-ha" moments as you read books join networkd and learn about it and yourself.....it is the best thing to accepot a diagnosis and for me 34 years of odd behaviour were explained in 2 words...AS



Hollietheflower
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02 Jun 2006, 8:11 am

thank-you soooo much donkey, you have been a great help for me.
i am going to tell my mum to book an appointment soon, but after my GCSE'S are over,
if i do have it, then it will be easier for me to accept it instead of being in denial and if i don't have, i just don't , but i feel that maybe if i don't have AS , then i will have something else, but i'm not going to worry about it!

once again, THANK-YOU DONKEY!! :star:

HOLLIE XX XX