Question for girls with AS Please.

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When I was reading up on AS I noticed for girls that with having friends when we are younger other girls take us under there wing and be our friend just because and then later abandon you of sorts. So then when we reach adulthood we might not have any friends. Has anyone experienced this? I feel looking back I have. I was curious if anyone can relate personally and maybe with a story or two. Thanks.

I've never been able to get along with girls. All of my true friends both when younger and now have been male. I agree that the females that I have tried to slightly befriend have turned out to be users though. I think that's in the ' NT females' nature though. Survival. When it comes down to it (in my experience) men are really the more sympathetic and forgiving of the two genders (but they will never admit it, they'd rather act tough which is fine) Woman (especially NT woman, less so in my ex with autistic) tend to hold grudges, are jealous and will lash out. Men are just flat out all around easier to get along with. I agree with men that say woman just don't make sense (and I am one ) I might be wrong blanketing genders like this, but it's how I see it.

Yes, a lot of females tend to take that motherly approach. I had two female friends throughout high school that sort of "mothered" me, but they just both stopped talking to me last year. Honestly, outside of school....our relationship was a....IDK. They only called when something was wrong. My male friends have never done that and we still talk.

I had one female friend as a child, and she did exactly that. She moved to my city and joined my school in grade four. She wasn't outcast for being new or anything - kids in my school were all diplomatic or military, so there were new ones coming and going all the time - but for some reason, she chose to befriend me for no apparent reason, even inviting me for games and sleepovers. It lasted not quite a year before she abandoned the "friendship." She had plenty of other friends, whereas I had none, but I think the catalyst was the arrival of another new girl (not the first since she had joined, nor a particularly unusual new girl); those two quickly became friends. And when I say that she "abandoned the relationship," this was a pretty epic change. It went from borrowing my sled at recess to bullying me so badly that I would hide underneath the playground equipment while she screamed at me. She would even go to playground supervisors and tell them awful things I had supposedly done (not a single one of which I had done and, furthermore, not ones I would even have had any concept of doing) while I hid and, because of my mostly-Asperger's-induced unpopularity with the school staff, they tended to believe her over me no matter what she said.

However, that was just one girl.

All of the other friends I've had until very recently have been male, and those friendships have all been easier. None has ended in anything other than simple moving on - either to another school, to another city, or just generally. There have been no hard feelings. And at the moment, most of the people I consider friends are male. Now that they're all adults, perhaps it's time to give girls another chance.

This has been my experience. In Elementary school I didn't have any friends until this new girl started going there and she befriended me. She was "motherly".
In Middle school it was much harder to make friends because of the changing class schedules. I did have a one friend that was in some of my classes, I use the term loosely because all we really did was eat lunch together or sit together at assemblies. I think she felt sorry for me and didn't want to let me sit alone. She stopped a lot of the bullying too.
And then in high school I was mostly isolated from my peers. My same friend from middle school was still around but she had her own social life that I could not be a part of. I ate my lunch in the art room, (the art teacher would let me go in there and draw during my breaks)
Now that I'm an adult. And my girlfriend is really nurturing and motherly. So I guess I got lucky on that one. I don't have any friends of my own but her friends are nice to me.

I had two best friends and am still best friends with one of them and still friends with the other. The girl who is no longer one of my best friends moved but recently she noted that I "was the pretty one but then at some point noticed I was antisocial". I used to just wonder off on my own and walk along the fence while using a stick to drag against the fence. This same girl probably didn't realize how out of it I was until she moved away and made friends with other girls. We met because she was from Vietnam and didn't speak English so I was designated as her translator. She was new to the country so probably was more receptive to me because she didn't know what to expect from Americans. We still hang out every few months but it usually involves talking about our families and eating. Thank god she didn't ask me to go to her birthday thing this weekend because her friends usually go to some expensive restaurant and get dressed up to go to a club. I think she does still feel obligated to be my friend because I taught her English and even tried to integrate me into her group of friends and has now given up. The other one who is still my best friend is very nurturing. She just got her teaching credentials. She is pretty "motherly" friend moved away I was no longer protected because my best friend was in a different grade. All the other girls I met later on just tried to befriend me so they could copy my classwork. They failed. as you could imagine someone who enjoys working with little children could be.

I've always found it easier to be friends with people either older than me or younger, but find it really hard with people my age. With older people, it probably is like people 'mothering' me although not so much now I'm older, but with younger people it was the other way round. I still gravitate towards people of different ages, I think it takes away a lot of the social pressure associated with trying (or failing!) to fit in. My closest friends are 27, 40, 32 and 19 (I'm 23).

I had friends for most of the time in elementary school. A few times it was because a girl decided to take me under her wing, but mostly it was because a girl wanted more friends and considered me a safe choice. I had a couple guy friends too, but eventually they stopped being my friend because they decided girls were gross. Now I find it difficult to get along with people of both genders.

I've had friends of both genders become friends and then stop. I think I've had more female friends than male, but they all seem to end the relationship with little explanation eventually. I wouldn't say it was easy to make friends when I was younger but it is harder now... maybe because I'm more jaded, and a lot of people already seem to have enough friends and aren't looking for more, or they don't want to be "close" they just want to hang out with a bunch of other people.

I lose friends faster than I make them it seems.

I've had very few female friends and most of them have been a romantic interest, rather than just a friend. I don't know how to relate to them very well - they are just too socially sophisticated. I remember in high school and college being aware of them playing games but being confused as to why or what exactly they entailed.

I've had jobs where I worked with mostly men and they were always easier for me to understand. The women I work with now really stress me out when they get together and start clucking away like chickens or cooing over someone's new baby pictures.

That is so true. When I was little, I had way more friends. And yes, they kind of mothered me, protected me in social situations and such. That's why I seemed very NT and no one noticed that I was different (I also learned lots of social rules!).

However, I lose friends quickly. I do have this guy who's a really good friend of mine right now and he's been my friend for three years. It's kind of a record for me, since most of them only last like one, maximum two.

Never related to that bit of stereotype in the least. My friends have almost all been male, straight from birth 'til now. In the few friendships I've had with females, I have been the protective one.

In some cases yes. I didnt start making friends till the end of highschool, the few friends I made did take me under there wing in a way. But I debate in my head whether it was just cause I acted a certain way in telling them to pity me, feel sorry for me. In college, I had this one friend that automatically did that and the friendship failed. So since then, I made a very conscience effort not getting people to pity me, trying to make real friendships. The female friends I have now, Im more or less on equal basis. Im done with having anyone mother me.

I actually never thought of a question like that. But I can tell you that I may have had experience, I just don't remember, though.

Some did but I never considered them real close friends away nor did I hang out with them as much as I did my closer friends. I didnt experienced this as much with female friends (though I rarely had any) than I did with my male friends).

However I relied far too much on my close female friends as far as social skills and self esteem than I should've. My close friend in college who had a lot of self-image issues really did ended up betraying me and abandoning me in the end. That was worse than anything I had to deal with as far as girlfriends go really which is really ironic because I had more self esteem than she did.

I had a lot of "motherly" friends throughout elementary and middle school. My female cousins were also that way. I moved a lot after middle school so I don't have any friends but my cousins did the same as my classmates eventually would have done; go into their own circles. Boys in general I have better relationships with. Recently when I moved away to college, my now ex-roommates did the motherly thing until they flat out started ignoring me. It's usually the same among the women where I worked too, but older women are less petty. I doubt I'll ever understand the NT female, I don't care what anyone else says; they're worse than men and are serious users. I dislike most of my gender more, as I get older.

Has anyone ever had this happen to them: you're a great friend and let the other girl have whatever they want or pay their way and listen to all of their issues (but they don't have time for yours), and then the second you don't have anything left to give them they treat you like crap or drop you as a friend completely?