Is excessive anger and frustration an Aspie trait?

Page 1 of 2 [ 25 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Sowlowsolo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 300
Location: Wiltshire,UK

22 Oct 2010, 3:29 pm

Don't know if I'm Aspie but I seem to spend quite a bit of time feeling angry and frustrated at things that others seem to be able to keep cool about. And when I'm angry I can't stand people trying to be nice to me - I'm not saying that I want them to be horrible to me - but unless they're going to make the problem go away then they may as well go away and stop talking rubbish at me!! ! They really think they can talk their way out of anything - and they probably can - except for one thing - an Aspie (or whatever I am) just won't want to know unless you have come to remove the problem!!

This is why on this site I will offer sympathy and love but not usually advice - If I can't fix my own sh*t then I can't fix yours! (unfortunately)



industrialx
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 12 Oct 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 110
Location: Dis

22 Oct 2010, 3:39 pm

Sowlowsolo wrote:
Don't know if I'm Aspie but I seem to spend quite a bit of time feeling angry and frustrated at things that others seem to be able to keep cool about. And when I'm angry I can't stand people trying to be nice to me - I'm not saying that I want them to be horrible to me - but unless they're going to make the problem go away then they may as well go away and stop talking rubbish at me!! ! They really think they can talk their way out of anything - and they probably can - except for one thing - an Aspie (or whatever I am) just won't want to know unless you have come to remove the problem!!

This is why on this site I will offer sympathy and love but not usually advice - If I can't fix my own sh*t then I can't fix yours! (unfortunately)


It does seem to be a common problem (from all the extensive research I've done... not), and it is certainly an issue with which I constantly deal. However, I'm self-diagnosed AS, so I certainly would just take my word for it. What does everyone else think?


_________________
Llamas are larger than frogs.
On the way here, I saw a thing that was not on top of another thing.


deadeyexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 758

22 Oct 2010, 3:50 pm

It certianly seems so

Being obsessive is an aspie trait. And aspies are often frustrated with thier inability to fit in.

frustration + obsession = lots of anger

Not all aspies are angry. The solution is to be complacent with your inability to fit in and obsessed with things you're actually good at.



Lissy65
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2010
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 16
Location: Britain

22 Oct 2010, 4:34 pm

Another Self-Diagnosed aspie here, but I also seem to get frustrated at things others seem to keep their cool about (at least when stuff goes wrong in private, otherwise I just literally bite my lip) and it would be in-keeping with the common wanting everything to be in place and obsessiveness which is, from what I can gather, typical of Asperger's Syndrome. I tend to also have a dislike of attempts to be nice to me, although I do more view the way my family have reacted when I've gotten over-emotional in front of them (which I can only really recall happening once) as being somewhat condescnding I do tend to only 'lose it' on inanimate objects in private (that time I mentioned my grandmother walked in on me beating up a swimming costume in a rather violent manner, I ended up having to tell my mum why I was frustrated and she generally went on about how I idn't need to feel this way without telling me why)), although said object is not typically the reason behind my frustration, which is more connected to, like deadeyexx said, my insecurities at being unable to fit in (not helped by my very definitely NT mother pulling the 'you need this to fit in trick' in a reversal of the stereotypical NT teenage daughter/her mother dynamic))). I'm also doing my GCSEs (not all of which I'm necessarily good at), which probably doesn't help.
As I'm self-diagnosed this may be me spouting off an inaccuracy though. Do you get angry and frustrated in front of people often? I'm just curious (I only 'lose it' in private since I know that it won't help me to get over-frustrated in public) as I'm not sure if that's an Aspie thing and it may help.



Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

22 Oct 2010, 4:45 pm

I have a short tempter, too. I'm officially diagnosed.



C1000
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 5

22 Oct 2010, 5:13 pm

Far away in the clouds I unofficially pronounce that your short tempered problem is a well known phenomenon in a NT's - life.



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

22 Oct 2010, 6:24 pm

I think that having asperger's is anger inducing, rather than anger being a part of the asperger's package. Comorbid is the word.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

22 Oct 2010, 6:30 pm

My anger stems from my inability to get a girlfriend as well as NT's who invalidate me an don't listen to things like my opinion.

We are another minority group that has been hacked off, kinda like African Americans. Those people explode when you say certain things. They won't change, because they won't listen to reason.



Kaybee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,446
Location: A hidden forest

22 Oct 2010, 6:37 pm

deadeyexx wrote:
Being obsessive is an aspie trait. And aspies are often frustrated with thier inability to fit in.

frustration + obsession = lots of anger

Not all aspies are angry. The solution is to be complacent with your inability to fit in and obsessed with things you're actually good at.


I can be very obsessive and tend to be frustrated rather often, but I have always had a very long fuse, as they say. I'm not an angry individual, and despite harboring a lot of resentment as a teenager, I never really was. I didn't find any solution was necessary to become this way; it's simply my natural personality.

While I think that patience and compassion (each being anger-reducing qualities) can be learned, if you naturally possess one or both of these, I suspect you are less prone to being angry. I try to see them each as muscles which need to be exercised as much as any other. This perspective has helped to make me an even less angry person than I was when I was younger.


_________________
"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."


Sowlowsolo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 300
Location: Wiltshire,UK

23 Oct 2010, 6:19 am

Lissy65 wrote:
Another Self-Diagnosed aspie here, but I also seem to get frustrated at things others seem to keep their cool about (at least when stuff goes wrong in private, otherwise I just literally bite my lip) and it would be in-keeping with the common wanting everything to be in place and obsessiveness which is, from what I can gather, typical of Asperger's Syndrome. I tend to also have a dislike of attempts to be nice to me, although I do more view the way my family have reacted when I've gotten over-emotional in front of them (which I can only really recall happening once) as being somewhat condescnding I do tend to only 'lose it' on inanimate objects in private (that time I mentioned my grandmother walked in on me beating up a swimming costume in a rather violent manner, I ended up having to tell my mum why I was frustrated and she generally went on about how I idn't need to feel this way without telling me why)), although said object is not typically the reason behind my frustration, which is more connected to, like deadeyexx said, my insecurities at being unable to fit in (not helped by my very definitely NT mother pulling the 'you need this to fit in trick' in a reversal of the stereotypical NT teenage daughter/her mother dynamic))). I'm also doing my GCSEs (not all of which I'm necessarily good at), which probably doesn't help.
As I'm self-diagnosed this may be me spouting off an inaccuracy though. Do you get angry and frustrated in front of people often? I'm just curious (I only 'lose it' in private since I know that it won't help me to get over-frustrated in public) as I'm not sure if that's an Aspie thing and it may help.


In answer to your question - I don't so much as GET angry and frustrated in front of people - but I FEEL angry and frustrated in front of people - and I'm not a person who can hide this very well!

The problem then is that I am frustrated but can't get any help. Any advice that is offered seems useless (because is really doesn't change anything) or my strong inner feelings that are very real to me - are invalitated by the response of others. I find it upsetting but know that there is nothing that anyone can do. I guess in each situation there is only what I can do that can help. But my impulses make me do the wrong thing like walk out - because I don't know how to cope with what is pressing in on me at that time :(



Sowlowsolo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 300
Location: Wiltshire,UK

23 Oct 2010, 6:27 am

C1000 wrote:
Far away in the clouds I unofficially pronounce that your short tempered problem is a well known phenomenon in a NT's - life.


So I'm NT and all NTs (ie. most of the worlds population) are easily frustrated and angered - is that what you are saying?

If so - the people around me that DON'T lose there cool when I have lost mine - they are what? Presumably something other than NT!!



Sowlowsolo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 300
Location: Wiltshire,UK

23 Oct 2010, 6:43 am

Moog wrote:
I think that having asperger's is anger inducing, rather than anger being a part of the asperger's package. Comorbid is the word.


Yes - that makes sense. Difficulty with communication and social skills = frustration. Increased, unresolved frustration = anger.



Pistonhead
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jun 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,732
Location: Bradenton, Florida

23 Oct 2010, 7:04 am

Eh dunno, I'm very angry but I think that's other mental problems. I am Bipolar (supposedly, I don't believe it), OCD, ADD, ODD, Paranoid etc. I personally think I'm borderline.


_________________
"Some ideals are worth dying for"
==tOGoWPO==


Autumnsteps
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 460
Location: Uk

23 Oct 2010, 7:37 am

My son gets very frustrated and then angry from that. I only get angry when I'm either frustrated at not being able to do something or get it quite right or when I'm getting overwhelmed/reaching my tolerant level for something. Then I tend to blow upa nd then get tearful



Sowlowsolo
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 300
Location: Wiltshire,UK

23 Oct 2010, 12:46 pm

Autumnsteps wrote:
My son gets very frustrated and then angry from that. I only get angry when I'm either frustrated at not being able to do something or get it quite right or when I'm getting overwhelmed/reaching my tolerant level for something. Then I tend to blow upa nd then get tearful


Yes my anger is followed by the need to cry. Or is it that I have a need to cry but we're conditioned not to cry like babies - so I get angry!

I guess that's because we are suppose to learn to express ourselves as we grow into adulthood - but that function has malfunctioned in some of us (for whatever reasons) and crying is still our instinct - but we know we musn't - so we get angry and frustrated instead.

OMG that seems to make some sense - I've shocked myself! :o



Kaysea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 688

23 Oct 2010, 9:41 pm

From what I have observed, anger and frustration are pandemic throughout the population at large. I believe that they are symptoms of a failing economy and the general absurdity of our contemporary lifestyles and worldview.