Obsessions that lead to a broken heart

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I'm wondering how many of you have experienced this sort of thing. I develop huge infatuations with people, and they aren't the sort that just go away.

I need to know how to get rid of them. I don't want them, all they do is make me miserble. I want to not give people a second glance, and not care.

I also need to learn how to give friends and people that care for me the good treatment they deserve. I get infatuated and ignore everyone else, and am left with no-one.

Any help would be appreciated.

I experience them all the time

Tim

Become infatuated with a fictional character or someone who your chances of getting together with are 0%, and who you'll never see in person. You can be happy thinking about that character/person without having to actually ever see them. Do I think this is good advice? Maybe, as it works for a lot of people out there.

I've heard that whereas obsessive interest is a common part of the AS experience, obsession with a person is more common in females. So this is probably something that other women here experience too, so maybe they have something they can say.

I tried that.. it backfired in the stangest possible way. I wasn't trying to avoid infatuation though.. I was trying to love vicariously. It seems to have worked for other people I know. My advice is self discipline. I've also decided only to give what others are prepared to give.. otherwise it can be degrading.

Well, if you really want good advice, then you should ignore what I said before. Good advice would have you act on your desires, and fulfill them as long as they were socially acceptable. So I suppose I should ask, what exactly are we talking about? It sounds to me like you're trying to deny sexual feelings or a desire for love or companionship.

It's very complicated.

Sometimes it's with people a lot older than me, married, not bisexual, or just plain out of my leauge.

Well, there is only 1 solution to this. You are going to have to kidnap him and lock him up in your little wooden love hut high in the New Zealand mountains. And then make sweet, sweet love to him over and over again, until you are bored with him and no longer infatuated, and then you can discard him like an empty box of reeses peanut butter cups. It is the only way!

Be sure to pack plenty of jaffles because you might be there a long time, and as you know, jaffles are the most nutritious and sustaining food, at least twice as nutritious as toasted sandwiches.

Obsessions are not just limited to those with Asperger's.....but I am willing to concede you probably experience far more obsessions. I, too, wish I knew how to make an obsession or limerence go away. Please let me know when you find a way. This site shook me up when I found out it could be 18 months to 3 years for the obsession to go away....now, I am sure that is for the NT's in this world....would someone w/ AS experience the obsession for a shorter or longer period of time?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

SheDevil

I'm a guy that has gone through his fair share...ah crap, I'm actually going through another one right now? She's very friendly, she's very pretty, she is into anime and videogaming...and she's totally in love with her boyfriend? Why must the fates mock me?

I can completely understand you here hale boop and i empathesise with you!( although i've been tol aspies can't do this!) i am 16 and i get obsessed with people , it is really weird feeling though, and it is hard to get rid of. Unlike you i normally obsess with people my own age whether they are male or female , it 's like they just suck me in . In my experience i normally grow uot of obsessions, thinking i was really stupid and i won't do it again, but, guess what?
IT DOES! i'm stiil trying to figure out why i do it and untill i read your message i didn't know anyone else did it. sometimes i tend to think i take , trying to be a NT too far, most of my friends get obsessions with they're bfs , and i don't have a bf, so subconsciencly i create my obsesseion, although i NEVER tell anyone about them EVER! i guess for me it is trying to fit in , but me being me, living in a dream world( as other people have put it) i't just how i am

sorry if this has been no help for you whatsoever i just wanted you to know that i understand and you can always talk to me about it , and we can share our obsessions and we may help each other that way.


hollietheflower

I dont have these, I've never had these.

Seems complicated, is this post about love an desire?

Fictional characters as fantacy dreams?

I'm infatuated with the girls in those Vonage ads on the left side of the screen.

Where I am moving I saw some really fine looking women walking down the street. A great motivation for moving...

Hi Hale_bopp

From what I know, people-obsessions (which grow beyond the norm of a regular 'crush') seem to be a part of Aspie life for many.

But I don't think there is anything you can do about it.

The most likely way they'll (eventually) cease is if you find someone special in your life. Even then, I've read occasional posts where people with such obsessions CONTINUE the obsession regardless of how much they might love their partner. So, would-be partners might be unwittingly sharing you with your secret person!

I had many obsessions and they all happened beyond my control, but my worst, WORST obsession lasted over 20 years and it was totally irrational. I only knew the person for a brief number of years (a teacher) and they were in NO WAY interested in me! Yet long after this teacher fell back into my past, I continued to live this double life: reality, and the life inside my head with this teacher over the top of reality. The only time it would stop was if there was some kind of obsession arising towards someone else, but if THAT died, back came imaginary life with the teacher! It was so familiar, it seemed NORMAL (even though I knew it wasn't and was best not mentioned to others). It is now gone (thanks to my partner who is so much greater even than this invented personality I had based on the aforementioned teacher).

I think the best thing you can do is just enjoy the feelings if you can (whenever I was obsessed with anyone at work, I just LOVED going into that office!), try to control any overwhelming desires to place yourself in any 'pestering' position (I was good at being a pest as a teen!) and just accept that life has thrown this trait your way and it may well pass of its own accord.

Obsessions that are labeled as so are not always, some are natural.

Obviously some obsessions are complexes of uselessness. Someone called me girl obsessed the other day, I do not believe it is a bad thing or useless. More so it is instinctual and part of a survival mechanism.

Some people require that they be accepted, these are social creatures. Personally I could care less.

Love and all this, it is foreign to me. Though I would think if I did develop a love regardless of desire and that went away, I’d be fairly upset.

I’m not sure that I have understood this topic completely though.

I've gotten my heart broken that easily before. And plus my obessions has also gotten me in a heart break as well. Don't be to hard on your self. I've gotten really hard on my self for getting heart broken. Well I know how it feels.