My mind's eye would never believe a mirror.

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When I imagine myself somewhere, the image I see is not remotely what I physically look like. I'm 20 years old with a harsh tan and aged Indian skin from growing up in the Caribbean, to which I never intend to return, and thin, receded hair. My projection of myself is White, almost child-like and bushy-haired with a wildly different bone structure. It is not very superlative, but in real life I've always been fat and the image has never followed suit. It has been this way for as long as I can remember. And I recall being asked to draw my mother in early Primary School, which is the typical level for those less than 11 years old. I drew a fictional character and was laughed at; I knew not what that laughter was about until much later.

I seriously intend to have my face rebuilt accordingly, but I wanted to find out whether this has any name, or any association, say, with autism or child abuse.

... really none at all. But like you, my perception of myself is "not remotely what I physically look like."


That is fine, I suppose, but then how can you be sure of actually living and being in accordance?


I do not know about that, but I would suspect there certainly could be some connection or relation to any of various things.