Single forever sounds good [LONG POST WARNING]

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At the end of 2002 when I finished school I was asked out by my only female friend at the time. She was an intersting person to say the least and had a diagnosis to prove it (something else not on the spectrum). Things went well and we got engaged. Eventually though, she got a job at a place populated by not so nice people. I'd have to say that the worst experience in my life was watching her personality get taken over by theirs. A year later she just wasn't her anymore. Nevertheless, we went deeper than that and I still loved her. She was the only person who I wasn't "mind blind" to. But it didn't matter what I did, she just didn't respect me anymore. The people at her work hated me with a passion because they wanted her and she was pretty-much brainwashed by them. I dread to think what went on during work hours. I had problems too at the time, I couldn't cope with the tertiary education and quit. I delivered pizzas in a dodgy car for money while looking for a better job. In 2004 she scrapped the idea of marriage, saying that I had changed. late 2004 she completely broke up with me and left me for the person I despised the most (he was ~15 yrs older too). While I can't read body language or facial expressions I have a weird "discernment" for people and places. I warned her he was dangerous but she just got insulted. She left and shattered the weird dream world I had been in for the past few years. I was past suiscidal. I felt like only my raw, inner layers were left. So I decided to "restart" my personality rather than just give up on life. No way I was going to be the one to lose out.

Months later when I had pulled myself together I realised long-term relationships weren't the way to go. Why waste my time and emotions on only one person? The world is full of wonderful people who I don't want to exclude. I decided to save my love for everyone. Ever since then life has seemed more free and I find I'm nicer to people than if I was reserving love and faithfullness for a soulmate that may not exist (actually she was seriously it). There's also much more potential for, well, fun, if you get what I mean. I don't stress over relationships anymore. It's all good.

As for my ex: Six months and one miscarriage later she managed to escape from her new boyfriend who turned out to be a narcisist who kept her locked indoors and hurt her for hours every night. He cheated on her with men and women while shooting up meth. Thank God she didn't catch his hepatitis (the others did though). Her ordeal was so traumatic that she lost her memory of the past few years and called me because I was the only one she ever trusted (even though she didn't remember anything ). Still, she used me for support untill she got a new boyfriend to support her. I didn't mind. It's the "original her" inside that I'm in love with. I'll always help her when she calls, even though I can barely forgive her. For some reason I forgot to tell her "I told you he was dangerous", but she admitted anyway that I had been right all along.

So that's the last time I'm going through that. I've wasted 3 years and all I have now is some basic tertiary education under my belt but still no job. I realise that love is just a superficial game for most people. As harsh as it may seem it's the truth. "Trust noone, love everyone" is something I now live by.

This isn't even half the story but I've raved on long enough. I'm sure the point I was making is in there somewhere.

Sounds like it's her loss.

I do understand your point. We have to share the love rather than give love to one person who may make wrong choices and not give love back. I can see how there is less risk in following your idea too. She made the wrong choices and it is her loss, like Xuincherguixe said.

I really feel for you, that must have been heart breaking.. if she really was in love with you, she wouldn't have been manipulated by those people.

That was a bad experience, good luck finding someone new if you're looking, someone that's strong minded. Weak minded people are easily manipulated and should be avoided.. especially by people that aren't accepted by a lot of the general jerky public.

Yeah, the scary part is what she went through after making just one or two mistakes. I think she got the raw end of the deal in the end. Oh well, that's life.

By the way, I don't want to discourage people from trying long-term relationships. Different things work for different people.

Let me tell you the ugly truth:

There are no soulmates! There's just GOOD ONES and BAD ONES, thats it, the women you finally end up with will be someone who is within your proximity and there is only a finite amount of time to find a woman in human beings short lives.

Next women and men cheat frequently in today's society, and there is greater then %50 chance that the person you marry you will end up divorcing and having an affair. All aspies IMHO should give up on the one person for life ideal, they will practically never find such a person, unless you marry very religious of the fundamentalist / cultish variety, and even then there are no gaurantees!

So proximity and dating lots of women is everything if you ever hope to find the right one. You got to approach at least 50-100 women a month IMHO, get their numbers, sort the flakes, from the ones that have genuine interest, etc. It's your job, don't wait for it to happen, believe me.