Help! Help!

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I have posted before about how I am on disability and that, at the age of 42, despite testing with supposedly above average intelligence, I have never yet been able to maintain a job. Well, recently I was hired to do a job. I know I'm a bit slow so I have been working overtime to try to increase my production without letting the boss know that I do this unpaid overtime. Unfortunately my speed is still not high enough. I've been told by the boss that I am slow. He asked me if I can up my speed, and also asked me if I am comfortable doing the work. It seems that I will probably be fired.

The question I want to ask is what do I do in response to the boss's questions? He asked me if I can up my speed. Well, due to hand eye coordination problems and other issues the truthful answer I have to give him is probably NO. Do I hang on waiting for that final moment when they fire me? Do I gracefully resign and exit now? What do I do?

This is very upsetting for me. I am tryng to maintain my self esteem despite the fact I am about to be fired for the umpteenth time, but it really sucks.

Is there any other position that you could do that wouldn't require the hand-eye coordination?

If you're honest and direct with your boss - and if there is another position that you could do - maybe you could ask for a trial period doing something else.

It is hard to say - each boss is different - they may fire you. But the only way they would work WITH you to help you solve the problem, is if you are honest with them about the situation. If you don't tell him that you are having difficulty with it, they may fire you anyway, but they definitely won't be as likely to help you solve the problem.

Thanks for the advice. I just spoke to the boss and it seems that I have been doing it all wrong. I have been going through the process of doing my work and carefully correcting other people's errors along the way. I did not think that I was supposed to ignore other people's work. I though that if I came across what seemed to be an error that I should fix it. So I have been doing far more work than what is required each hour. I've been doing this for weeks.

I always have misunderstandings like this. I just seem to approach things from a completely different slant than other people do. I guess I do miss many of those implied understandings. And even if the boss had told me, which I don't believe he did, that I am not responsible for other people's errors, I might not have heard him because of my central auditory processing disorder or noted it on any written instructions because of my problem remembering sequential instructions.

I am very frustrated right now.

Do you think that I should just begin again, and carry on without explanation, this time ignoring other people's errors? Or should I tell the boss that I have trouble understanding instructions because of CAPD and other problems following sequential instruction?

It's times like this when I have a really hard time believing the adage that Asperger's is a Gift.

Well we looked again and saw that my lack of speed is the result of my slowness. It's true I have been correcting errors that weren't mine to correct, but even so I am far slower than the rest. And I've been working many hours and not billing for it, and yet I am STILL slower than the rest. So I took the advice given to me in your reply and told the boss that I have some issues related to my autism that are probably effecting my speed. Now I am just waiting to hear back from the boss.

The boss knew I had AS when I was hired. They knew that I had issues that had, in the past, prevented me from maintaining employment. The job was given to me by a very kind person who more or less took pity on me and wanted to help me.

When people meet me and hear my story of not being able to maintain employment they are often disbelieving. I seem, on the surface, like a very well spoken and down to earth sort of person. I have had to explain many times what autism is and convince some people that what they perceive about me is not the reality.

At least I'm not lost in the fog of despair that I was before I got my AS diagnosis. At least now I know enough to tell people what is going on when I get into situations like this.

Once again, thanks for your advice above. I have taken your advice and I'm waiting now to hear what the boss's response will be.

I can relate to your problem, but only with the retail and restuarant jobs I've had in the past. I'd like to thank you for posting about this. It's refreshing to hear that someone else here is slower than average and doesn't "outperform" peers regularly. On the other hand, it makes me fearful of my own future in the professional world. Keep us updated.

The boss wants me to find little ways to see if I can possibly go faster. The problem is that I am soooo soooo far behind what other people are doing that it seems to me it is unlikely I will ever reach the speed the boss wants. It is so demoralizing always being the "problem" employee and inevitably getting fired. I would like to feel that I am contributing something useful, but at this point I am just the person with disability to be pitied and dependent on the generosity of the boss to maintain employment. I talked to my parents (at 42 years of age I still ask advice from them) and they told me that I am a good woman and if I can't do the job well then just quit and concentrate on the area where I have talent, even if it is unpaid and I have to live on disability.

I'm going to resign.

anandamide

Are you making fewer mistakes than everyone else too? I used to be slow because of this. I pointed out to my boss that I saved everyone heaps of time by making fewer mistakes and structuring my stuff so that if I did make a mistake or a change was needed in the future it could be done much more quickly. This was programming/testing/implementation type work.

Customers were also much happier with my work because I'd anticipate what they'd do and make my stuff more robust to cope.

I also used to do a whole pile of work that wasn't really mine to do - like fixing the photocopier for everyone and helping newbies find their way. This also annoyed the boss, but I said it helped the overall speed.

You might be better off in a more research orientated job or in quality assurance - where it is your job to pick up other's mistakes. One way of dealing with other people's errors, is to give their work back to them and make them fix it. You'd have to talk to the boss about that, because it would likely upset people if he doesn't approve it.

If the errors don't really matter, then you might consider speeding up and risking a few errors of your own.

It seems so sad to have to resign, but if it is stressing you out, that might be for the best. Your boss does seem pretty willing to listen, and may be able to come up with more ideas to help. Bosses like that are few and far between.

Thanks for the advice Wobbegong, but I already sent in my letter of resignation. I am so much slower than everyone else that it is hopeless. I am doing 65 units per hour and that's by working overtime, not telling the boss, so it looks like my numbers are higher than they are. Other people are doing 300 units per hour without doing all the secret overtime that I do. Obviously I am far behind everyone else.

The employer has been very kind to give me the opportunity. It says in my medical reports that I need alot of support oriented toward people with AS in the workplace. I need to be in an environment where my AS is acknowledged and dealt with as part of my humanity, but in this environment the employer needs me to be fully functioning. I can't be NT for this boss no matter how hard I try.

I've been in your situation many times and I'll be 45 in a few months. I hope something comes along for you. I'm always the slowest at every job I do, so I know how you feel.

I heard from the boss this morning. I had submitted my resignation. Well guess what? They dont want to fire me! The boss said that if I am still interested in the work I can continue. It seems my generous benefactor is willing to overlook my slowness. So I still have a job. This is great because it means an extra $750 on top of my fairly low disability cheque.

Yay!!

The only thing is now I know that I am being kept on despite the fact that I do not perform to the standard level normally required for the job. Im not sure how I feel about that, but whatever, I need the money.

Good for you, Anandamide. Here's the thing - I agree with one of the previous posters who said that bosses like that are few and far between. I'd like to add to that by saying that employers like that are few and far between as well.

They are very willing to work with you, and this could turn out to be a great opportunity for you. There are times in all positions where anyone (even NTs) may not feel like they are doing a good enough job. There are times when people just aren't happy in their position. I know I'm stating the obvious, but my point is, that I wouldn't quit just because you feel like you aren't the right employee for them. The reason to quit is because they aren't the right employer for you. Each party in that transaction holds some power over the other. Their power is that they can fire you if you don't do a good enough job. Your power is that you can quit if they don't treat you right. By giving them more power through saying you'll quit because you don't do a good enough job is doing yourself a disservice.

If they are willing to work with you on this, then work with them on it 10 fold. If you don't feel like you can speed up, it is okay, just keep trying. When you do have an improvement, toot your horn, and they'll be likely to encourage you. Ask if you can study the other people (or have someone watch you) to see what you might be doing that might take more time. Make sure it is an understanding, patient, and logical person though. And again, keep asking if there are other positions you can do that would be more toward your skill set and your talents. QA was a great suggestion that was made earlier as well. All these things show signs that you are interested in continuing to improve and become the most productive employee you can be. Try to be as positive as possible (I know it isn't always easy) and try to remember what you do bring to the table and have confidence in what you can provide and the potential you see in yourself. That translates into them seeing that confidence and gaining confidence in you.

Good luck!

Thanks Adhoc, and thanks to everyone who replied to my post. You people are wonderful. And thanks to Alex for creating such a great forum.

I choose the hours I work in this job. I can work any hours I want, and I work at home online. I'm tech support. I feel grateful to the employer for keeping me despite my slow pace.

I don't feel confident enough to feel that I bring anything to the employer, except my honesty and commitment. The best I can do at this point is to try to accept that I am being kept on despite my deficit in performance, and continue trying to increase my speed. I have to swallow my pride about this because I have three children who need me to earn the extra money. The disability cheque just does not cover all necessary needs and expenses.

If there were a work environment specifically geared to aspies, that is, if there was an ASPIE FRIENDLY work place, I wonder what that would look like? Such a work place would have to be an environment that somehow accommodates deficits without losing profitability, and allow individuals to work within their specific strengths.

I can't imagine what such a workplace would produce, in terms of any marketable production.

At this point I've found the best environment I can find, because, obviously, the owner of this company is willing to keep me on despite my deficits.

I will take the advice given above and ask if there are any other positions I can do. I'll ask this as soon as my nerves have recovered from this latest crisis. I don't think I can take anymore interactions about my productivity this week. I'm just going to do the work I've been trained for and try to increase my speed.