14 year old son with ASD, how do i tell him he has Autism?

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I was put into special education classes and I spent 1st grade to 10th grade telling everyone I did not belong in them. Later when I was 40 I went to get tested for autism and was diagnosed with Aspergers. I asked my doctor about my ADHD he said he had seen no signs of me having a learning disability. Maybe your son should take one or two normal classes perhaps he will do well. You never no he might flourish in a normal school environment because he would not want to go back to the special school.

I never studied in school because I gave up because everyone called me a ret*d for being in special education. I figured if I was not good enough to do regular school work I never would be able to handle college courses. I was pretty much cheated out of a proper education by psychologist misdiagnosis, my own apathy along with self loathing, and school system that did not care. I have had a slew of looser dead end jobs where I am always the lowest paid and most mistreated.

I can't stop chuckling about this. Bless his heart, taking the book so literally!

Sorry about going OT... Not sure that I have any advice for the OP. My daughter was diagnosed pretty young at age 5 so she's known from the word 'go' pretty much, that she has autism. 14 is a difficult age; I agree with the poster who said that teens are struggling to form their identities at that age. I remember doing the same when I was 14. Maybe the diagnosis will help him understand himself better, though. Especially if the good parts of ASD are discussed and emphasized, along with the challenging parts, so that it doesn't sound like a horrible life sentence or something. By the good parts of ASD, I'm referring to things like having an excellent memory, stronger mathematical skills, being able to visualize things more vividly, creative thinking ( which is why some of the greatest scientists and inventors had ASD) and that sort of thing.

Whatever you do don't mention the character, Rain Man.

honesty and openess are key, i think when it comes to these types of things. i have told my kids right from the day they were diagnosed what it was and even beforehand they knew why they were going to see doctors and specialists. i would think that hiding such an important peice of information, even with the best intentions, will probably be doing him more harm than good. the best time to tell him would have probably been when you found out but that moment has passed. he may not want to hear it and it may be hard for him to listen to but it's something he needs to know about as soon as possible and you never know, it may help him to know so he can figure out what's going on with himself, look into it on his own and will probably be quite releived to know what is making him the way he is. maybe even point him in the direction of this site so he can get into contact with others and vent about what's going on with him. i agree with whoever said that the best discription is that he thinks differently than other people. that is how i initially explained it to my children and i still use that today when one of my nt children says something rude like 'what's wrong with you?" i always tell 'them there's nothing wrong with him/her. remember they just think differently than you?" seems to work well