Question about myself?

Post Reply New Topic

Alright, so I've been feeling really down and lifeless lately. I haven't been able to focus on my schoolwork so now I've resorted to crawling out here to type out how I feel..

Starting with Facebook, I'm pretty much on it all the time, which I know is bad for my well-being since I always see the News Feed of fake friends reminding me that I'm all alone, but whatever, that's besides the point. Whenever I'm spiraling down into deep depression and I give in to suicidal thoughts, I feel like crying out for help. Since I have no close friends to turn to, I go on Facebook and write out a plea for someone to just talk to me. Except, I always write this on the spot below my profile picture where the "Write something about yourself." box is, so it's never on the News Feed and almost no one sees it. Then after only minutes, I start regretting my decision of putting that message up and I remove it, despite wanting to let others know how I honestly feel. If I know what's good for me by trying to turn others for help rather than tackling this battle against myself alone, why do I keep hiding my problems like it's a dirty secret?

I'm not asking for responses of pity or suggestions to call a suicide hot-line, but what the hell is wrong with me?

i have done that a lot as well as of recently. Sometimes its a direct call for help but more often than not my statuses are a little obscure or "off" so as to not raise eyebrows too much in fb land. i dont have close friends either but just "good" people from high school or one time neighborhood friends that i dont mind "talking" to or being "friends" with. i have been surprised about how some people will respond on the most random posts of mine when i would never expect them to even give a damn about me. I would give it a try and post your feelings for others to see. Sure it is risky, scary, and making yourself open to vulnerable and even unhealthy responses from others, but dont give into the thought that people dont care. Suicide is not the proper way to solve the difficulties and problems in life. good luck. and remember you are not alone. WP has probably been a life saver for people like us more so than FB ever will.

hang in there love

yeah ive written and deleted alot of stuff. sometimes just writing it down helps me sort it out and then i delete it

i just did it then too

my advice?

pick up a pillow and scream into as long and hard as you can. then put the pillow down and laugh at how funny you must look. go wash your face, and then find something to do that makes you feel better or calmer

chin up, and if you do need help, dont bottle it up. im terribly good at and id hate to think what it's doing to my insides.

Musicprophets: Cannot agree with you more, the advice and help from this community I've seen today is more than I've seen in the 3 years I've been on FB...

Jaz1787: Thanks for the advice, I tried screaming into the pillow. Next thing I know, I was fast asleep dreaming about something awesome I don't remember and I woke up the next day feeling refreshed.


If only dreams could replace reality... then I would always have the life I wanted and I'd only have to worry about a few hours of nightmares.

Yes I do this too. I think the allure of FB is that I see it as a way to sort of FORCE people to listen to me when I'm feeling like everyone is ignoring me. Out of all my friends and my family I only really trust one friend enough to tell her how I really feel, and I don't want to overwhelm her so I tend to hold back a lot even from her. And, I found out about a year ago that my brother told my parents that all I do is "whine on facebook", which made me feel really self-conscious so now I try not to post much there other than "hey this is funny/neat check this out" sort of stuff...at least until I get so overwhelmed that I start springing emotional leaks...then I tend to post stuff I regret and often end up deleting it.

A therapist once told me to try just blogging everything to get it out. Maybe that will work for you. Personally I found it hard to get into because I didn't feel much relief knowing nobody was really following my little blog, and I didn't feel comfortable actively asking people to read it.