No understanding of "authority"

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I realized quite a long time ago that I have no idea of the concept of "authority". Logically I realize that someone can weild power over someone else in terms of bullying, firing, money, education, obligation, etc. But I fail to realize it on an emotional level. This led me to sternly tell a police officer that I did not like her tone of voice when she spoke to me. It leads me to be confrontational with people that NT's know they must socially placate. I speak to my boss or to a famous person the same as I would speak to a dirty homeless person on the street. I don't emotionally identify "importance levels" between people. I seem to feel that everyone is equal -- what's funny is this idea is often given as a favorable goal by NT's, yet the lack of it is what causes outraged people to ask me whether I know whom I'm speaking to. It's a pretty big liability in my life, actually.

I think more people should be like that. I agree with accepting "authority" when you know the person is an expert, say, in plumbing, but not accepting authorty from titles and positions.
I'm an anti-authoritarian. I could say more but it causes me anxiety from prior experience with people and this subject.

Yes I relate 100%. It's described in the literature for ASD. Correcting one's boss and insisting on one's own viewpoints are some examples. Aspie's are not afraid to speak the truth and that's a problem for some egotistical NTs who like to recognize and climb social hierarchies.

Well, what may be the problem is that you are challenging people whose authority leads them to believe they should be treated differently from other people, but in fact there is no basis for this assumption.

You can speak to a cop in any fashion you wish, so long as you do not make a threat you are fine. There is no law that says you must speak demurely or deferentially to someone in uniform.

Famous people are no more deserving of a respectful tone of voice than anyone else. In fact, most of them deserve less respect.

A homeless person is not any less deserving of a respectful tone.

The only place you absolutely must put up with this NT BS is with your boss, because s/he can make your life difficult and threaten your livelihood over a bruised ego.

Then again, take all this with a grain of salt. It is being writen by another aspie.

Last edited by MidlifeAspie on 03 Dec 2010, 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't recognize authority in the sense that some people think they are more important because of their position. And it's gotten me into trouble as well. But I do recognize that some people have coercive power, because they can create consequences for you. A teacher can give you a failing grade, a cop can arrest you, etc. But I don't consider coercive power to be something to be respected. I just try to remember that I don't want to bear the consequences of crossing someone who has power over me.

My psychiatrist thought that I should consider her an authority figure, but I didn't at all, because she had no power. And I didn't look up to her because I knew she could be wrong and that I always had to trust myself more than I trusted her. In fact, I considered her my employee, since I paid her and she was working supposedly for my benefit.

Bee33 wrote-

Did she actually say that to you? I've been in the role of the difficult patient myself.
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She did say that. I wasn't a difficult patient, just wary. But I told her flat out that I didn't think there was such a thing as authority, only coercion.

There is of course another meaning of the word authority, and that is when someone is an authority on a given subject because they are particularly knowledgeable about that subject. I recognize and respect that.

- you made me giggle there...

i can remember when i was a child overhearing a conversation between two grown-ups about gripe at work, and the following, rude but funny, advice being given: "Oh well, when your boss really gets to you, remember he is just a human being like everybody else and picture him on the toilet with his trousers down!".

- the graphic imagery left its mark on my shocked young mind and sadly/luckily i could not forget it.
it did help me see things in proportion later in life, although i could not fail to notice a sense of bewilderment on some people's faces, when clearly their intention was to cause awe and intimidation, but all i could offer was a hardly straight kept face and a humorous glint in my eyes.

i do have the same problem with authority for authority's sake, but i readily accept expertise, benevolence, effort, time and dedication as a reason to respect a person's position given in society or an organisation.

and good old kant springs to mind - ( and i did not even mention wikileaks, lol )
link: What is Enlightenment?

Last edited by PaleBlueDotty on 04 Dec 2010, 6:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

I totally relate to this. Authority in the form of deferring voluntarily to someone better qualified than you is one thing. Defering to jerks armed with guns who want to force you to do things against your will is another! (Or anyone else with an unjustifiably inflated sense of superiority, armed or not.)

There is no law against being rude to a cop, but they don't need a law to make your life unpleasant. It is best to stay very polite, as much as it may make one's blood boil.

I recall when I got my first speeding ticket I stayed very polite. Though I called the cop "comrade" as he left. I figured that since the stop was finished then he'd probably not want to waste energy persecuting me any more for such a small slight, if he even understood what I meant to begin with. It helped let off a little steam.

I agree with this thread.

If you want my respect, earn it. Don't go and assume it because of your supposed authority.

I recognize that it is in my interests to be polite and kind to everyone. I don't need to be impressed by someone's authority first.

I'm a little different in that I am mostly able to restrain my reactions to people that are effectively in authority positions even when I don't see them as authorities in some "divinely ordained" sense. So I'd never mouth of to a cop because I am aware enough of the consequences even if I see his authority as ephemeral and mostly illusory.

OMG! That's SO ME! I don't agree with authority. I believe we are also all equal I didn't care my Psychology teacher had a PhD we are IMO all equal. It doesn't matter she knows more in fact I find it hilarious that I would ask her psychology questions and I later found out the teacher didn't know how to answer my questions so she began avioiding me. So my questions were to much for the teacher with a PhD I find that hilarious.

I always used to get in trouble for asking questions at home and at school... I didn't know I was making everyone look inadequate, it was just my natural curiosity.

Bug's them to no end when you let them know they are nothing more than a consultant under your hire.

Yes, absolutely. When I was a little kid, I'd speak to adults on completely equal terms, pissing some of them off. On the other hand, now that I'm an adult I speak to kids on equal terms as well. You know how people sometimes talk down to little kids as if they were mentally ret*d? I hate that. I have no desire to pretend that my boss, or anyone else, has some kind of power over me by virtue of "authority".