Detention in school

Post Reply New Topic

Anyone else who didn't have a diagnosis until adulthood have such difficulties in school?

Most lunchtimes I would be in detention, mostly for not respecting the authority of the teacher, and for speaking out loud/out of turn in class. A lot of the time I would be thrown out of class and sent to the 'Disruptive Pupil' unit (DP), a tiny room barely 10x10ft with a couple of desks and a teacher. I would often have to write 'lines' or put dots in the boxes on graph paper.

Thinking back, I wonder just how different things might have been if I had a diagnosis. Being separated from my peers both in class and during lunchtime seems like it would make things much worse for an Aspie. If we need to learn what is appropriate social behavior then isolation in detention/DP seems likely to just make the problem worse.

The more I think about this the more annoyed I become at what could have been, and I'm starting to feel angry that in a school of 1250 students there was not one member of staff who could recommend a diagnosis.

I can sympathise. I spent lots of time in detention for similar things or breaking social rules that I didn't understand or even know existed. I wasn't a deliberate trouble maker, just couldn't understand what was expected of me.

I often got punished with a thrashing with a cane or running shoe on my behind or a wooden ruler across my hand. This was in the days before the word "Aspergers" even existed and corporal punishment in schools was rife.

Me, too.

Actually, there was one art teacher who did recommend that I be brought to a psychiatrist. My aunt read the letter, didn't like the idea that someone in the family could be mental, and threatened that I'd better change my behavior or else. Since then on I always screened each letter that came from school, and as far as my aunt was concerned her threat worked and all problems were therefore solved.

You should let bygones be bygones, though. A diagnosis might've made things a little easier in school, but at the end of the day we have to deal with the post-school world on our own.

I got in trouble a lot in school, mostly for retaliation against bullies, speaking my mind and questioning authority. I ususaly just lost my recess and had it sit it out in "study hall". I never had a detention becuase I was so eager to go home it would have caused more anxiety than I could have handled. I never had to stay after school. I did once for a party for not missing any days of school for a month but hated it. Staying after school was reserved as a privlege at my school. I had a phobia of staying at school after it was over and even turned down going to the science fair which everyone says I would have won because it was taking place when school was over. I never had to stay after school hours but if it wasn't a little hick school I probably would have and my parents would have gotten angry at the school.

I kept my head down, and was dead quiet. I mostly just drew pictures or wrote nonsense poems in the middle pages of my jotters. Sometimes I got detention for not doing my homework. I very rarely did my homework, I think it was an executive function thing.

I was too timid to get in trouble. The rare times I did go to an all-day detention I actually enjoyed it. Without having to pretend to be paying attention to a boring teacher, I was able to finish all my homework early and use the rest of the school day to read a sci-fi novel in a nice quiet room.

I used to get detention all the time, mostly for being a minute or two late to school. I actually told the principal about the poor system in place, and in my last year it was changed. As for authority, I am of the belief that some teachers do not deserve respect. One of my college professors was an absolute tool with 20-year-old course information.

As far as AS goes, I remember being unable to participate in ANY after-school activities because of BS detention. We socialize badly enough... and on the few occasions I try to do something new, my school - which is supposed to teach me to be a successful individual - intentionally holds me back. More proof that the system is broken.

Sounds like me. I only had detention once and, if I recall, that was just for participating in senior cut day in high school. I was too quiet to get in trouble. Fortunately, most of my teachers weren't big on picking on the quiet, bookish kids, even if they were often "lost in [their] own world" or reading their own non-school books instead of the assigned ones.

I only had a dx of ADD back when I was in school, and I spent most of my time either in the admins office or in in-school suspension. Actually, in 10th grade I spent more than half the school year in in-school suspension. Honestly, I got more work and learning done there than anywhere else. I was never disruptive, I was just indifferent and never wanted to be there. I skipped a lot of classes, would show up late, or sleep through them. Also got in a lot of trouble for dress-code violations. I always wore the same clothes and wouldn't compromise about removing my jacket or hooded sweatshirt or hat. Instead when asked to do so I would argue how illogical I thought the dress-code was, or about anything else they tried to have me to do and inevitably get sent to the office. I was very indifferent and it got me in a lot of trouble and discouraged me from learning in a school environment. Between the anxiety of even being at school and then dealing with the social aspects on top if it, it was just too much and I retreated to daydreaming and cared very little for anything else.

If I had a dx back then and the teachers understood how meticulous I needed things to be explained, or if they understood that shoving seemingly arbitrary rules (no hats, no sweatshirts lol, no questioning the rules) down my throat only reinforced how indifferent I already felt, then maybe it would have been better, but I probably needed even more accommodations than that anyways.

I can't blame the school system entirely for my troubles, but it could have been easier with less politics. Even if I had only understood the value of compromising I think I could have avoided a lot of the turmoil I felt. But everything was black and white back then, and any disagreement about anything took my full attention away from learning.

But yeah, I was in detention and suspension a lot lol. Thankfully I'm more flexible now, that was a hell of a time

I never did any homework, that's why I spent half my life in detention. In the end they gave up I think, and just accepted that you can't get blood out of a stone. I still passed everything with excellent grades though.

When I was at school I was late every day from about year 9 onwards, and I often argued with stupid teachers, so they were giving me detentions all the time. And except one, which I went to just to see what it was like (I found it to be an absurd waste of time, and walked out), I just did'nt turn up. Nothing ever happened.

Up to high school I spent a great deal of time in detention.

In grade school at least once a week I was in the school office for various things. I spent a lot of lunches in the library at lunch because executive dysfunction was causing me not to get homework done.

When I got to junior high I was in detention because I often got goaded into doing things - then as a result of simply hanging out with the other outcasts who were constant targets by the school staff.

One guy I hung out with made it his goal to get suspended at least once a week - and he pretty much succeeded at that. One time he went as far calling one of my teachers a dumb ass openly in class. Another time after being kicked out of class by same teacher and suspended he then proceeded to break a window in the class room by throwing a rock. Another time he brought a box of toothpicks to school and proceeded to break them off one at a time into the locks on teachers cars in the teachers parking lot until he was caught and arrested by the school PLO.

Contrast that with another kid I hung out with. He was horny a f--- and would literally stick his equipment into anything he could fit it into and the whole school knew it. Needless to say a few years ago I looked up his name on the Wisconsin CCAP site and to no surprise he's sitting in prison on statutory rape charges

And there was a cast of about four other characters whom I wasn't involved with as much, but all just as eccentric - I never really looked to much to cause trouble, I just happened to be singled out because of who I was and who I hung out with. Sure I had my moments - sometimes I even managed not to get caught, but in general I was almost always guilty by association.

Then comes high school - much different environment than junior high school. Nobody really seemed to care anymore what I did. Did'nt have a single mark on my record in high school

I got in trouble more than goody two shoes, but less than the ADHD kids.

Basically I was quiet I never said anything, I was still naughty, scribbled on the desk, scribbled in my text books, defaced school property, never did my work or homework, etc, but I didn't cause disruption except for a few times where I couldn't contain a fit of giggles and I was sent out of the class. I didn't have any respect for the school or its property because the Teachers and kids had no respect for me.

I did get in trouble though. Just not as much as known "naughty kids".

I got taken out of class and spoken too and yelled at for teasing this kid when I was about 8.. which wasn't cool at all, I had a lot to learn, and thankfully, the punishment taught me.

I got punished at school camp for staying up all hours of the night talking and laughing about another kid "farting"

I got punished for whispering, punished for pinching a sticker off the teachers desk, punished for disrupting the class to name a few.

If I EVER did homework it was rushed before it was due in the morning. That was common though, only nerdy teachers pets started their homework as soon as they got it.

I had detention a few times in school and I could never understand why it was even a punishment. I mean eating lunch in class, how is that even a punishment? I know you couldn't go outside but so what. I think it's a punishment for lot of kids because it takes away their peers and they are isolated and they hate that. But I never minded it really but I never did things to deliberately get in trouble just so I'd be isolated.

But I didn't get them often, maybe because of my diagnoses. That's what I had it for anyway, to get me through school and the education I needed.