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MasterJedi
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06 Dec 2010, 2:00 pm

you're friendly and amicable but people seem to be repelled by you.

I can't think of the amount of times this has happened to me.

There was this one time, I was being friendly with an employee at one of the kiosks at the mall. She agreed to go out on a date with me and gave me her number. A few minutes later, I have mall security telling me to leave her alone.

I was working in a hospital - same situation. I asked out the cashier in the cafeteria and we actually sat and talked for a while, I come back the next night and demands I leave and if I didn't, she'd call security. All this after she rang me up for my sandwich and soda - I was trying to pay her and dropped a coin, bent over to pick it up and she said, "that's it! I'm calling security!"

Both these times, I keep thinking, "what am I doing wrong?" "am I scary?"



Xeno
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06 Dec 2010, 2:24 pm

I think I often intimidate people. I usually dress in a rather "odd" way (and am not willing to change that), so that creeps some people out, but I generally seem to creep out people "outside the mainstream" just as much. I think it's because my tone of voice and body language are hard to understand.



CockneyRebel
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06 Dec 2010, 2:35 pm

I creep out young people who are in the mainstream. The people that I creep out are young men and women who are between the ages, 15 and 25. There was one such girl who looked at me and said, "Oh. It's that weirdo."


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thegreatpretender
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06 Dec 2010, 2:56 pm

Sometime people, especially if they are in a position of customer service, may be unable to explicitly say "no" to a customer. So it is a possibility that the lady at the kiosk for some reason felt coerced into giving her number, and later resentful of you not picking up her cues, even though she seemed agreeable.

Not knowing the context, it is just a possibility.



Todesking
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06 Dec 2010, 3:05 pm

When I worked at a resteraunt they used me to walk women to their cars at night. I have also have been told a combination of my being quiet and lack of eye contact makes me come off as a big scary mental patient.


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Valoyossa
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06 Dec 2010, 3:29 pm

Maybe they are afraid, who knows... I'm not normal :twisted:


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wavefreak58
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06 Dec 2010, 3:30 pm

I'm afraid of me. I'm a people. Does that count? :lol: :lol:


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poopylungstuffing
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06 Dec 2010, 3:34 pm

There seems to be something about me that puts some people off.. not sure what it is...I went with my boyfriend to see his former co-worker's boyfriend perform and whell....I looked differently and talked differently and acted differently in such a way that I seemed to perturb some of the ladies that I met..who were all very NT...Sometimes it seems that I get scowled at by people I don't know..I went to a party and it seemed like someone reacted by scowling at me when they saw me. Not sure what it was about, cause I did not know them



j0sh
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06 Dec 2010, 4:52 pm

Yeah, I think some people are a bit scared of me. I think it's a mix of "the distance" (people not being able to connect/understand me) and my physical appearance. I think people are more cautious of me because I'm 6'3" 240lbs than they would be if I was 5'8" 160. Add in "the distance" and people seem to scare easier.

Pure speculation.



PunkyKat
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06 Dec 2010, 5:05 pm

My mother was afraid of me as a child because my meltdowns often resulted in agression. Teachers and other kids were mostly afraid of me becuase I was so weird and diffrent. And I will not hesitate to attack someone physically if I have too.


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buryuntime
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06 Dec 2010, 5:29 pm

People more often tell me not to be afraid of them by my actions and withdrawal towards them. Don't be afraid, there's no need, I'm not going to hurt you.



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06 Dec 2010, 5:48 pm

Judging by the way people treat me, I'd say that no one has any fear of me. Unfortunately, no one has an ounce of respect for me either. Most people treat me like a lightweight, a nonentity, and regularly find ways to remind me that nothing I say or do matters to them. A few people are outright cruel, disparaging me at every turn.
Nope, nobody is at all afraid of me.


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League_Girl
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06 Dec 2010, 6:22 pm

I always bet so. I used to be easily targeted online for bullying and being singled out and then lot of people backed off after I did something when I was 18. I figured people just became afraid of me. I still think people are still afraid of me. But it's what I always wanted as a child because I figured if everyone was afraid of me, they would leave me alone and treat me right.


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anbuend
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06 Dec 2010, 7:27 pm

My guess is that you're not picking up on some really important cues, or you're hitting on people in situations that aren't normal to begin with. That's an area you really have to be careful about, and if you're not sure what you're doing wrong, it may be best not to do it until you find some way to figure it out. Because you could land in far worse trouble than this if you freaked out the wrong person.

One thing to remember is that women have to be prepared at all times to deal with creepy men who might try to rape us. So we have to be extra-cautious about things that might seem little to other people. And if even the outermost boundaries are crossed in the wrong way, we have to learn to defend ourselves or get out of there. (Autistic women often have an almost opposite problem, where we have trouble discerning when that boundary is being crossed, or knowing when to act on it, so we end up assaulted and raped more often than nonautistic women. If we survive, some of us learn caution.)


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Loke
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06 Dec 2010, 8:33 pm

I'm sorry this happens to you. If at all possible, try to get someone to explain what you're doing wrong.



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07 Dec 2010, 2:27 am

People who know me moderately well I think fear/respect me. I don't usually think of fear and respect as related, but in this case I think it makes people take me seriously. I find it amusing how much I can intimidate certain people with empty threats. Note I only do this when someone messes with me first, I'm not a bully. I've never been in a physical fight. I remember one time in high school, a group of guys were hanging out in a class room, I was walking down the hall. I was already in a very bad mood for a variety of reasons. One guy that I was friendly aquaintences with said something, I don't even remember what it was, but he completely meant it as a friendly joke. I kind of flipped :twisted: He is fairly small for a guy. I slammed him against the wall, and I happened to have my car keys in my hand. I had my key about half an inch from his eye, and I told him quite clearly that I didn't appreciate his comments and I would prefer if he never did that again (now that I think about it I might have been smiling, wow I sound creepy 8O ). It really shocked all those guys because I'm usually very calm, at least on the outside. None of them messed with me again (the last month of my high school career), including the guy that teased me the most and is at least 6 inches taller than me who could have easily shoved me across the room. Makes me wish I had done it sooner. Another quote about me I overheard once: "She can have a smile on her face and still cooperate with you while planning your murder that she would get away with." Wow those make me sound like a violent person, but I'm really not. I think most people respect me for my intelligence.