How did you tell your significant other about your AS?

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JulieValentine
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13 Dec 2010, 3:24 am

And how did they react?

I've had varying reactions based on the depth of the relationship, and I find relationships hard because I don't understand facial expressions or flirting or anything like that.
The guy I'm currently with I just came straight out and told after he became confused when I told him that I had no idea that he was actually interested in me that way when we started hanging out. He's an education student, so I thought I might educate him on something that may actually be relevant to his career. He understood right away because one of his current students also had AS and Jeff (my boyfriend) was actually the only adult that seemed to be able to communicate with him in a way that the student would respond positively. I'm so thankful for his reaction. He basically asked questions like what did he need to know that I found important and what would be the easiest way for us to progress without me feeling awkward (As I did in most of my relationships). I'm just wondering everyone else's experiences?



rocknrollslc
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13 Dec 2010, 3:54 am

in my last relationship, i walked over to her house about month since it was official and straight up told her. i also told her i have adhd and bipolar/emotional difficulties (im prettty closed down). she didn't say much, but told me she had her own issues too and that we would work through them together. then our relationship ended three months later lol



madbirdgirl
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13 Dec 2010, 3:55 am

i told a guy i was dating that i think i have it while stoned out of my mind at some party and that was the last time i saw him. he probably just thought i was crazy.



Sparrowrose
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13 Dec 2010, 6:09 am

My husband was the one who told me about Asperger's. A year later I was diagnosed.
Unfortunately, even though he was the one to first tell me about the existence of Asperger's, he didn't believe it was a real thing and we had a lot of fights about it over the years. He's only now, nine years after my diagnosis, starting to come to accept it.


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GrimmRomance
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13 Dec 2010, 6:45 am

He already knew. :) One of my best friend's sister is one of his best friends, so they'd told him long before we began dating. But he didn't know much about it, so I've been able to teach him a lot about it. He's fine with it. He loves, that I'm quirky and comforts me, when the world is too overwhelming.



SabbraCadabra
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13 Dec 2010, 9:22 am

The first girl I told, I had been dating for about a year or so, and I had just found out about AS. She didn't really agree that I had it when I first told her about it, but after she learned a lot more about it, she's pretty convinced I have it...and she thinks I have it more severely than I think I do :x

I told two of my exes after that...one of them flat out did not believe me, and seemed rather offended...the second one said she could see it, and kind of felt like she could relate to a lot of the traits. After the first reaction, I decided I needed to be much more selective in who I told.

Then I told this one girl I was kind of seeing, she didn't believe me at all and thought I was just being weird. I had a feeling before that I shouldn't have told her, and I was correct =/ But we only went out for a couple days anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

The current girl, we were into a heavy discussion about a related topic...I kind of wanted to tell her, but I felt like it was way too early, but she dragged it out of me. I said "Okay...have you ever heard of Aspergers Syndrome?" and she said that she had, and that she'd been unofficially diagnosed with it when she was a teen. If only it were always that easy :x


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Xenu
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25 Dec 2010, 11:04 pm

My girlfriend understands and is accepting of my Aspergers and Bipolar (she also is bipolar) so it works out really good :).



dhutch
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28 Dec 2010, 9:49 pm

Ive yet to tell anyone that i have any form of AS instead hiding things like that face i have extra time and use of a computer behind the mask of dyslexia (gotta love it) although i wouldnt be too surprised if my housemate throughout uni (who for all i know could well have a trace too) might be aware there was slightly more than that as i also got funding for 4hours a week one-one tuition with a postgrad.

I have such a small amount of AS that most people wouldn't necessarily even notice, no one at work for instance knows. However i am aware of aspects of my behaviour that are hard to explain without AS, or atleast make more sense to me with it, which my mum also agrees with.

Hence while ive not mentioned it to my current (or my two previous) girlfreinds as yet i would want to at some point. Not as a 'dont blame me its not my fault' type excuse but as a way of helping them understand some of my otherwise less explainable mannerisms.
However until the relationship had gone a little further than it has (or the past ones did) i would rather them get to know me without a lable. And i dont know how i would mention it either.



Daniel