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one1ai
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22 Jun 2006, 4:42 am

People get disturbed when other people talk to them about various facts, because they can't handle too much facts at once, because they get "overloaded". That's why they put a lot of other unrelated words to the facts, and in this way they won't become "overloaded".
How did this sound? (or look... since you are reading it)



Ladysmokeater
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22 Jun 2006, 5:42 am

i "small talk" out of nrevousness. I chatter all the time about things that make no difference to anything. I rattle on about my intrests and even the weather. I usually shock people with all of that and they walk away. I dont see how my small talk os that different than others.....



anandamide
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22 Jun 2006, 9:52 am

one1ai wrote:
People get disturbed when other people talk to them about various facts, because they can't handle too much facts at once, because they get "overloaded". That's why they put a lot of other unrelated words to the facts, and in this way they won't become "overloaded".
How did this sound? (or look... since you are reading it)


I think that NTs are aware of and drawing meaning from subtle gestures and meanings that we don't perceive as easily as they do. Subtle gestures and small talk actually have meaning for them and serve as prompts to continue and direct their conversation.



jonathan79
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23 Jun 2006, 10:55 am

Yes, I agree, Groovy Druid wrote an awesome article on the "hidden meanings" of small talk posted on the home page before, but I can´t find it anymore. If you read this, could you link to it Groovy Druid?



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23 Jun 2006, 3:19 pm

Ladysmokeater wrote:
i "small talk" out of nrevousness. I chatter all the time about things that make no difference to anything. I rattle on about my intrests and even the weather. I usually shock people with all of that and they walk away. I dont see how my small talk os that different than others.....


One characteristic of aspies is a tendency to chatter quite a bit. It's not that all of them do that, but it is said to be characteristic.

I think in terms of smalltalk, it has a lot to do with talking about things that are uninteresting to us. Like, a lot of people like to joke around. Also, people like to talk about other people quite often. I think it depends on who you are. Talking with friends and family is a lot different than from talking to lesser known people at a party. You have people at a party talking about things uninteresting, so I might feel awkward. That awkwardness has a tendency to show, even if you don't want it to.

I don't think it's so much the people that accept you and you know, but the people that you want to get to know. Like, making lots of friends is hard for most of us. If they think we're odd or something, they have a tendency to not want to get involved. So, if we don't adhere to their vision of smalltalk, then we're kind of seen as distant, odd or something.

There are people out there that will accept us, however. AS has become more known as of late than ten years ago.

- Ray M -



Aeturnus
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23 Jun 2006, 3:19 pm

Ladysmokeater wrote:
i "small talk" out of nrevousness. I chatter all the time about things that make no difference to anything. I rattle on about my intrests and even the weather. I usually shock people with all of that and they walk away. I dont see how my small talk os that different than others.....


One characteristic of aspies is a tendency to chatter quite a bit. It's not that all of them do that, but it is said to be characteristic.

I think in terms of smalltalk, it has a lot to do with talking about things that are uninteresting to us. Like, a lot of people like to joke around. Also, people like to talk about other people quite often. I think it depends on who you are. Talking with friends and family is a lot different than from talking to lesser known people at a party. You have people at a party talking about things uninteresting, so I might feel awkward. That awkwardness has a tendency to show, even if you don't want it to.

I don't think it's so much the people that accept you and you know, but the people that you want to get to know. Like, making lots of friends is hard for most of us. If they think we're odd or something, they have a tendency to not want to get involved. So, if we don't adhere to their vision of smalltalk, then we're kind of seen as distant, odd or something.

There are people out there that will accept us, however. AS has become more known as of late than ten years ago.

- Ray M -



boothinator
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26 Jun 2006, 2:46 pm

I believe that in general, people talk to each other to manipulate each others emotions, and smalltalk is just doing that but in a light and mildly entertaining way. But since emotional manipulation can be difficult or misinterpreted by an aspie, he would rather talk about things that are more meaningful to him but in a smalltalk-like way. I know that I get worn out by talking to people fairly quickly because I am too good at empathy and my emotion get manipulated too much and too quickly, to the point where I am not ready for it again for some time. So talking about concrete or abstract things is more natural for me, while talking about emotional things is more likely to push me to exhaustion.



one1ai
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27 Jun 2006, 4:40 am

jonathan79: is the title "The Secrets of Successful Smalltalk" under
"the social world"?

Aeturnus: you double posted.



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30 Jun 2006, 7:15 pm

jonathan79 wrote:
Yes, I agree, Groovy Druid wrote an awesome article on the "hidden meanings" of small talk posted on the home page before, but I can´t find it anymore. If you read this, could you link to it Groovy Druid?


There's an easy explination of "small talk" that I'm suprisd has'nt been posted yet. Anyone who's read "The Naked Ape" by Desmond Morris knows this.
Groming behavior is universal throughout the primate order. Since Humans have no fur to groom, the behavior has taken the form of speech. "Small Talk" is actually "Grooming Talk"


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