Not feeling like a real "participant"

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Does anyone else feel that they are not as heavily involved in the world as other people are? I feel like other people are actually taking part in life, while I'm content with simply observing. In fact, I usually don't like it when something happens that forces me to be more of a participant.

Heck yeah, I feel that way. It feels like the world is flying by. I'm a tiny little car sitting on an on ramp, trying to merge into the traffic of a massive, crowded expressway. It's flying by way too fast and I haven't got the horsepower to get up to speed.

Air bags would be nice.

In the "grand scheme," no, just the opposite. I think I participate more in the world than most people do. But in smaller, every-day things (like minor social interactions), yes, definitely. I participate in the world more than most do, but less in "life."

I love this image. My longstanding image is watching two people turn a jump-rope, while I wait for the prime time to jump in. Instead I just watch it go round and round and round...

Paradoxically, this makes sense, too. The participation is different, not less. But it is also often irrelevant to the rest of the world.

Depends on what you mean by the world. I do feel like I participate in the world in general more than most do. But in the human social world, less.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. That's what I meant. More of a participant in the world itself (like nature, sounds, various details), less in the social world.

Non-participation isn't just a feeling with me: I really don't participate. No job, no marriage, no significant other, no children, very few relatives (they keep dying on me), a few people I say Hi! to, but no real friends. It's a little lonely, but nothing compared to the loneliness I felt trying--and failing--to fit in.

I found wavefreak58's automobile image amusing because it closely resembles my actual living situation. I have a little house on a major street that carries 20,000 cars a day. I watch people hurtling by all day in elaborate vehicles that say, "I spent more trying to conform than you," and I have a hard time believing I'm the one that's made a poor choice.

I kind of feel like this, but I would say I am taking part in a life that many would not respect, even though I find much of it enjoyable. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of difficulty adapting to many of the parts most people value.

I do not like being forced to participate in those areas that don't work for me, although I've tried for years to function in them.

I feel like this. It's like there's a pane of glass separating me from the rest of the world, or something equally poetic.

I like the analogy of being in a little car and trying to merge into a lane of hectic traffic.

At the moment, though, there's an additional complication in my life. It's like I want to get into that busy lane, and I'm ready to make my move, but then I stalled the car. A few things have gone wrong in the past year or so. A couple of years ago, I was in that fast lane, work-wise, but then I got shunted out. And the longer I've been in that little car trying to get back into the thick of things, the more hesitant and despondent and lacking I've been feeling.

And as for my love life... similar thing. I've been there, done that. But this time round, I can't seem to get off the on ramp. I've had a couple of false starts in the past year or so, but struggling to move off and get into gear.

I like this metaphor.

like i can't connect to the world.

i feel like the real word is inside of me. the outside world is where things LOOK like they are happening, inside my head is where they are real. i feel like i'm watching a soap 24/7...

I once saw a poster that said that there were three kinds of people in the world: Those that make things happen, those that watch things happen and those that wonder what just happened.

The internet has allowed me to participate in some things more than I used to without the hassle of personal contact but for the most part I've been content to be an observer. After all, the performer need the audience. It's only the last group that contributes nothing.

This is pretty accurate for my experience. For me there is little difference between TV and the real world, except TV usually has better acting. Reality is too depressing/painful for me, especially lately. Every time I try to participate I'm usually beaten back down pretty quickly, it gets tiring.