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Omerik
Velociraptor
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Joined: 25 Jan 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
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30 Dec 2010, 5:20 am

At the age of 10 I more or less shut down, and during the following years also lost all social skills I used to have. I couldn't just communicate as I used to, as it wasn't natural to me. Like a kid who was taught math, but forgot it. Until then I used to have a very good friend who was like a brother, and I was usually quiet, oberving others. I managed to form connections with his other friends, not always interested... And a few friends of my own (not his). But then he left the town and I just gradually lost all interest in social affairs, and when I did want to try it again, I just couldn't. Made me want to cry, especially because before that I did communicate. I was like some wall.

Also especially as a kid I used to be highly tactless, and sometimes not understanding metaphors, which is funny npw, because I was proud of myself when I first understood sarcasm. Looking back, I probably wasn't that special to understand it :lol:
But the problem was with comments that weren't sarcastic, and could logically be understood literally... Like when my teacher told us to "clean our desks", and mine was, well... not dirty. I checked it. But I had some work on it, and she started yelling, because she meant to put it in the bag, and I was the only one not to understand. She was mad insisting that I DID understand what she meant, and was being rude to her.
Thing is that I really got hurt when I understood that I hurt someone else unintentionally, or when people thought that I'm just acting as if I don't understand. Because I was considered smart, I was expected to know what people mean. So, because it hurt me, I "learnt my lessons".
It was weird, because it seemed that I was usually normal around people up to that age, and still once in a while I acted really strange, and no one understood why. I was aware of myself, and used to keep my weird habits to my room where no one sees it...

Later on - alcohol, basically. I still have troubles when sober, but it's much better than before.
Also it's easier the more I know the person. I feel more confidence, and I also know that people who know me accept my quirks, so I don't try behaving too normal in the first place, unlike when I was a child. A lot of time it's actually pretty humourous, and I understand that. Sometimes I don't mean to make people laugh, but they usually laugh with me and not at me, so oh, well. And even if it's at me at times - oh, well :)



Taliesin
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 16 Nov 2010
Age: 39
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Location: Upstate NY

30 Dec 2010, 6:04 am

Omerik wrote:
At the age of 10 I more or less shut down, and during the following years also lost all social skills I used to have. I couldn't just communicate as I used to, as it wasn't natural to me. Like a kid who was taught math, but forgot it.


Oddly enough I've felt that same thing (but more recently). I've thought that I perhaps have a later onset of Asperger's. Now I know that it's not possible, but seems so since my trouble with communication has seemed to become more pronounced. Perhaps it's in correlation with my depression being treated and nearly eradicated; the traits may have come out more strongly.

I can still socialize, but, since my senses may be sharper when not dulled by depression, I feel much more of a separation from others than I did previously.

I hope it didn't seem that I disregarded the rest of your post; I found your post very helpful, and this line really spoke to me.



CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
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31 Dec 2010, 9:52 pm

I've learned my social skills the old fashioned way, by being with all types of people NT and otherwise.


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