Do some NTs start acting Aspie-like as they get older?

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I'm NOT saying ''all NTs develop AS as they get older'', (PLEASE don't make me accidentally start up a 10-page argument from taking this the wrong way!) but a lot of NTs in my family, who have reached their mid-40s or early 50s, seem to have become more sensitive to noise, and more reluctant to socialise, and more irritable, and more moany, and more obsessive to routine. The list goes on.

I'm not saying all do, but I've noticed some who do. My mum has and she's NT. When she was 20, she was always socialising, and even when me and my brother were small, she used to leave us with our dad or a babysitter, and go out. But in the last 4 years or so, she's starting to say she hates socialising, and doing things what's not part of her routine, and she even says she hates loud noises. She puts her fingers in her ears now when a loud siren goes by, and she hates screaming toddlers. But she isn't on the spectrum - don't hint that she is, because I've known my own mum for 20 years and I know a lot about the spectrum, and she is not on the spectrum. But I've noticed she has gotten more irritable and socially unconfident as she's got to her mid-40s, and I've noticed other people of her age have too. That's why I can relate to older people more than people of my peers. I talk to my bus-driver a lot, and he's 52, and he says he hates loud noises now, but he says he never used to. And another middle-aged person I know said that she's become more anxious as she's got older, and feels slightly Agoraphobic at times too. And my 40-odd year old aunt has suddenly become obsessed with farts (I don't know if that's an Aspie thing or not, because I'm not obsessed with them), but she's never had an obsession like that before. And I've noticed other things in middle-aged people, what I can also relate to. Lots of middle-aged people at work have said how much they hate crowds. Now the after-Christmas sales are on, everyone at work were all having a moan about going to Chelmsford and other cities like that because of the amount of people who will be there at this time of the year.

Has anyone else noticed little dregs like this in older people?

That's a very interesting observation. Maybe there is some truth to it. Maybe due to degeneration of certain parts of the brain? I've noticed that as I've gotten older my obsessions and sensory issues are worse but my social anxiety is a bit less, maybe because there's much less socialization to cause anxiety or I've adapted due to years of practise?

For me, because I've gotten so tired, I measure the effort by the pleasure I think I will get by it, and if the effort is a lot more than the pleasure, I decide to stay in bed instead. I already have been to plays and zoos and light displays and reenactments, and now I'm deaf, and tired, and so if I don't have a grandchild to entertain, why should I bother seeing those things again?

I know twenty years seems like an eternity when that's all you've known, but its a drop in the bucket. I socialized a lot when I was younger, too, it was easy to do with the specific people I had a lot in common with. I was never very good with strangers or people I didn't share common interests with, so I just didn't spend time around them, so it looked to any casual observer like I was fairly normal. As I got older, and those few friends drifted away and I got married, I didn't make new friends, eventually divorced and began to succumb more and more to the same reclusive nature I had had as a child and a teenager. What I'm saying is, you can't necessarily judge from the behavior of someone in their 20s and 30s whether or not they may be on the spectrum, because that's the time of life that they are most likely to appear relatively normal, especially if they're undiagnosed and attempting to fit in because that's what's expected of them.

I do believe that AS tendencies are more apparent during childhood and teen years, then for a decade or two, with effort, one can cope and manage them more easily, but past the latter 30s, the effort required to 'act normal' just takes too much out of you, and your AS starts to become more obvious again. So maybe your Mom has always had some AS symptoms and she's just not expending the effort to fight them anymore.


I also believe AS is genetic, so its likely it may appear in several places on your family tree, more strongly in some instances than in others.

I was able to spend a lot more time and energy on socializing and doing NTish things in my 20s, but in my 30s, I've definitely stopped doing a lot of that. I am not sure how well I "passed" as neurotypical as I've always had particular problems, but I think skating by on the assumption of NT until proven otherwise did have a lot of mileage.

Anyone who knew me in my 20s would probably not even believe I was the same person as I was in my teens or younger. And I've had friends tell me that now I'm definitely a lot less outgoing and more apparently AS than I was in my 20s. I feel like it takes a lot of energy to "fit in" and socialize like that, and I've felt burnt out on that for years. I'm much happier with my much more occasional lower key socializing.

As others mentioned some people socialise more when they are in their 20s (or so), when you were younger maybe she was going out with friends from her teenage years, but as they got married or lost contact with them she didn't make new friends, therefore stopped going out.

About the hearing issue, it could be hyperacusis (the most common cause of hyperacusis is overexposure to excessively high noise or decibel levels). About hyperacusis: http://hubpages.com/hub/Hyperacusis-Sen ... Treatments.

You seem to be very much against the possibility that she could be on the spectrum so I am guessing either those 2 characteristics are the only ones she has that could be mistaken for ASD or the thought that she could be on the spectrum bothers you by itself. Anyway I don't think anyone would be able to guess if she has ASD from only 2 symptoms.

Oh the irony. Nts acting more aspie as they get older and aspies acting more nt as they get older. Since we all end up in the same place I guess it makes ense.

I think wisdom is a positive aspect of aging; the illusions that go along with youth felt much better. For me life was a marathon at the speed of a 100 meter dash. People kept warning me to slow down, but for me this was the effort required to make it in everyday life. We are all only human and age takes its toll on all of us NT or AS.

As long as I had the energy to adapt my life seemed as good as anyone else, the adversity I faced kept me motivated with a do or die attitude that worked great until my body wouldn't do what my mind insisted was necessary to survive. I burnt out at age 21 and didn't think I would ever get energy again, but I did. I felt younger than ever after that and it lasted until my mid-forties.

I think for most people their resilience to all kinds of stress declines with age. It is just part of the normal aging process. Hormonal changes and neurochemical changes are common to everyone when they get into their forties. I worked around alot of retired military people in their 40's and 50's, when I was in my 20's, and many of them complained about noise, and were adverse to change. I think those two are a normal part of the aging process; some people are affected more than others. I think those that age gracefully do not live life too fast and and have good coping mechanisms for stress.

it's related to the trope of the rich eccentrics who were I guess NT by themselves when younger but as they got older they ended up shut-ins etc. I think some olf Russian royalty ended up as well as nobility from other countries.