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Qi
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07 Jan 2011, 7:22 pm

How well do you manage?

For me, when it comes to joining new forums and such, I get accused of being ignorant, a troll or inappropriate in other ways. When I was less experienced, I used to have my innocent threads sometimes locked or deleted, which really put me down. I'm a lot more experienced now, but I find forums more intimidating.

It just occurred to me to add the word "autistic" to my online nicknames, in hope that people go more easy on me. haha. Would that be a good idea or just pathetic?



Moog
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07 Jan 2011, 7:47 pm

Qi wrote:
How well do you manage?

For me, when it comes to joining new forums and such, I get accused of being ignorant, a troll or inappropriate in other ways. When I was less experienced, I used to have my innocent threads sometimes locked or deleted, which really put me down. I'm a lot more experienced now, but I find forums more intimidating.

It just occurred to me to add the word "autistic" to my online nicknames, in hope that people go more easy on me. haha. Would that be a good idea or just pathetic?


A bit pathetic, yeah. It's like you've given up trying not to be problematic, and just playing the autism badge.

I know what you mean though, I don't blend into web communities either really. I just try and be polite and reasonable, ask my questions, make my responses and get out. :lol: I guess you could explain your actions, say sorry, and then not do whatever it is that the community finds offensive. Most people will tolerate a few mistakes, so long as you're genuine.


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Verdandi
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07 Jan 2011, 8:01 pm

I've had a lot of issues - nothing seriously major - blending into online communities. Generally something about me tends to stand out in a way that can (and often does) cause me strife, and I think I sometimes have trouble adjusting to going from one forum to the next.

One thing that helps me a lot is reading a forum for a week or so before I participate, and making sure I know the rules. The nice thing about text is that it's not irrevocable until you click submit, so you can take time to adjust what you're saying. It won't make it perfect, but this is what makes me love text far more than verbal communication.

But then, a lot of people don't. They just fail to blend in different ways. Sometimes those ways are more or less socially acceptable in particular communities than what you're doing, so of course it is impossible to generalize.



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07 Jan 2011, 8:11 pm

Not very well. My rate of information disclosure is REALLY disproportionate. The good thing about this, is that it seems to be only a bigger problem online than offline. I'd just tell people too much stuff, which was easy to troll me.

I tend to use posts on the internet as my thought process. Instead of filtering words through my brain before I typed them, it becomes very stream of concniousness.

I have particular interests that I may post images off too much that annoys some people, but again it's not really that bad in real life, and not bad in the first place.

I often join anonymous communities, it helps me feel more blended in. Not much of a social structure if you're all anonymous!!



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07 Jan 2011, 9:15 pm

I blend in waaaaaay better online in certain places than in real life. I'm always baffled when people I meet online like me, because that never happens in reality. For that reason, I refuse to meet anyone in person that I meet online, for fear that they'll stop liking me when they see what I'm really like.



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07 Jan 2011, 9:22 pm

Zen wrote:
I blend in waaaaaay better online in certain places than in real life. I'm always baffled when people I meet online like me, because that never happens in reality. For that reason, I refuse to meet anyone in person that I meet online, for fear that they'll stop liking me when they see what I'm really like.


I've found that people who like me online tend to like me offline. I think that online introduction sort of cheats the first impressions thing.

I know from recent experience that I can be somewhat offputting upon meeting people for the first time with no prior exposure. But people who know me online first seem to already be favorably disposed and less put off by how I interact.



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07 Jan 2011, 9:23 pm

I stand out everywhere I go. Only thing is, that's more of a choice of mine than an inevitable difficulty I have. It is easier for me to blend in online, because I don't have to say much at all, and everyone's body language is the same, but in person, I'm a lot more comfortable because I'm not a sit around on my ass kind of guy. I always have to be moving, even when I'm home.



MarkMartino
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07 Jan 2011, 9:38 pm

This is the only forum I've felt like my posts fit in. I'm 54, a smart guy, and I'm told I use words well, but no matter what I say or how careful I am at editing, I constantly misconstrue emotions in other people online, and trigger in them reactions I didn't expect. You could probably tell my posts without my signature in most fora, both from content and how people responded—and I've been fairly careful to only try posting in places where I should have common interests. The first forum where my posts don't stick out and seem alien is here. It was a really strange feeling for me to go back and read my first post here and realize it wasn't out of place.


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07 Jan 2011, 9:40 pm

There is only one small group of people that run all the internet websites and forums around the world. Cars to Computers, Pets to Politics, they all treat me the same so they must be connected. :?



Fu-Manchu
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07 Jan 2011, 10:43 pm

I have the same trouble in forums as I do "out there". I try to fit in. Then I don't. Then I withdraw. I am into cars and motorcycles and have been a member of numerous forums over the years and just "peter out" of them.
Mostly I just lose my confidence. Or the little bit that I have........
Same reason I don't do Facebook......



wavefreak58
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07 Jan 2011, 10:50 pm

I believe that internet communities are inherently deceptive. They allow people that in real life might be reluctant to openly speak their mind to hide behind the pseudo-anonymity of chat rooms and forums.


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Verdandi
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07 Jan 2011, 11:01 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
I believe that internet communities are inherently deceptive. They allow people that in real life might be reluctant to openly speak their mind to hide behind the pseudo-anonymity of chat rooms and forums.


It's deceptive to allow them to openly speak their mind? I don't understand.

Internet communities definitely mean I say a lot of things I don't have reason, opportunity, or desire to say in real life, and while my reluctance in real life is real, so are my opinions and observations.



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07 Jan 2011, 11:08 pm

Verdandi wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
I believe that internet communities are inherently deceptive. They allow people that in real life might be reluctant to openly speak their mind to hide behind the pseudo-anonymity of chat rooms and forums.


It's deceptive to allow them to openly speak their mind? I don't understand.

Internet communities definitely mean I say a lot of things I don't have reason, opportunity, or desire to say in real life, and while my reluctance in real life is real, so are my opinions and observations.


The internet allows people to project an image of themselves that is not consistent with their real life. It gives an illusion of freedom. It just seems to me that people develop internet persona around what they would like to be.

Unlike me. I irritate people equally well in real life and on the internet. It's a talent. :roll:


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Verdandi
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07 Jan 2011, 11:15 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
The internet allows people to project an image of themselves that is not consistent with their real life. It gives an illusion of freedom. It just seems to me that people develop internet persona around what they would like to be.


But isn't the internet an aspect of their real life? I mean, it is a real thing, it exists, real people talk on it. Yes, people filter what they put online, but this seems like a wise thing to me. Yes, some people misrepresent themselves. I think in most cases this is pretty mild and at best statistical noise. For people who actively set out to deceive, well, yes, but the internet didn't invent that.



Qi
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07 Jan 2011, 11:29 pm

Verdandi wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
The internet allows people to project an image of themselves that is not consistent with their real life. It gives an illusion of freedom. It just seems to me that people develop internet persona around what they would like to be.


But isn't the internet an aspect of their real life? I mean, it is a real thing, it exists, real people talk on it. Yes, people filter what they put online, but this seems like a wise thing to me. Yes, some people misrepresent themselves. I think in most cases this is pretty mild and at best statistical noise. For people who actively set out to deceive, well, yes, but the internet didn't invent that.
Talking to someone on the internet tends to give a completely different impression from meeting them. It's mostly not deliberate, but that's how it is. People have much more control over how they present themselves. Internet communication is deceptive in that way.



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07 Jan 2011, 11:34 pm

Qi wrote:
Talking to someone on the internet tends to give a completely different impression from meeting them. It's mostly not deliberate, but that's how it is. People have much more control over how they present themselves. Internet communication is deceptive in that way.


I've found internet communication allows me to give a more positive first impression that often survives meeting people face to face. If I just meet people cold I am more likely to turn them off or at least give the wrong impression or say the wrong thing without prior social context to mitigate the damage.

I haven't found the people I have met from online to deviate significantly from my expectations. Maybe I've been lucky.