Extreme sadness

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I just found one of my cousins on Facebook and remembered how very social that part of the family is. On my father's side, everything clunks along like a cart on square wheels because they are all like me - but they don't know it. I'm so sad, I wanted to be stupider, but funner.

Later....been crying a whole lot.....you know what I need? A dog. A dog would complete my personality - I could be the brains, and the dog could be the social.

What do you think?

Dogs can make great companions and they often help "their" humans to make contact to other humans - when you have a dog with you there is always something you can talk about to people. Also, dogs can give a lot of emotional support and they ask for very little in return: some food, a place to sleep, a little love, daily excercise and veterianarian care when it is called for.

But on the other hand taking care of a dog means a lot of responsibility. Can you reliably take care of an animal that will be completely dependent on you (and some people who help out by dogsitting when it is needed) for the next ten or more years? Can you pay for the dog's expenses? (By the by, taking care of our own dogs has taught me a lot about time-management and fullfilling one's duties.)

If both of this is the case, take your time to find a dog that really suits you. The different breeds not only vary in size and how much taking care of they need, they also have different personalities. The "typical" terrier for example is a lively, hardy companion who might take off after a rabbit wheras the "typical" retriever is a good-natured, laidback family dog whose appettite needs to be kept in check if the dog is not to fatten up. (Note that dogs within one breed still display a whole range of different personalities, much like us humans.)

For a beginner, I usually recommend a medium-sized dog. Those are hardy enough that they can stand a little unintenional rough handling but they are not so large as to frighten people off or that their sheer physical strength poses problems in training them. A small flat or other circumstances might advise a smaller breed though.

Of course, mongrels can also make great companions - our own dog is a poodle mutt and the most adorable and patient creature I have met so far. Having some idea about the mongrels parents (more precisely their size and personality) might save you some unpleasant surprises here. Adopting a dog (rather than buying one) may also have its advantages, for example an adult dog usually is housebroken and has received some basic training already. Try to find a dog you like and feel at ease with.

Once you have considered all these things and received the go-ahead from all other people living in your household, I can't think of a sound reason why you shouldn't get a dog if you want one.

Thank you for that Fluffydog I do have the time and stability to care for a dog, especially now that I understand I won't be
asked to run the country or anything. We also have a big, fenced property, an empty dog house from the previous owners,
and a sign that says "Beware of dog".

But neither of us has ever had a dog apart from babysitting. My husband is afraid of them but I know he could adjust to a
puppy and grow with it.

I did one of those quizzes and it said I should be looking for a French bulldog, and they look lovely, but that was before I believed I was an Aspie, do you think this changes things?

I'd like a Lab, but I know they can eat forever and I am a bit soft......

yes, definitely adopt! pet shops are evil.

oh and also...

think about it...

would you really rather be stupider and funner? I've felt that way before. I thought that I had been so deep inside my thoughts and my views that I would never be able to come out. Assuming that nobody goes through that process, I thought that I was doomed to remain a taciturn moralistic intellectual.

The fact is that I was in a mild depression at the time, and I thought that I was the source of my problems. Problems being: my girlfriend and my lack of social skills. When we broke up and I started living alone, I immediatly became less depressed, and I began to appreciate my taciturn moralistic intellectualism more than I ever have, and my social interactions got much better ( one notch above awful is still 'better'). The point: I thought I was the reason for my sadness although I wasn't.

in short, you sound like you might be in a depression, and most likely you think YOU are the source of said depression, although you probably aren't. I encourage you to get a dog if that's what you want, but don't think that he/she will be the solution to your sadness.

oh and check this out

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt112787.html

created by a talented peep on this site.

it speaks the truth, it's concise and oh so cute.

Yeah I think I am in a depression of some kind, you are right. I allowed myself to get more isolated than necessary - got off
Facebook for example, and we shifted to a new town...it was all too much.

But the husband promised we would get a dog, completely unprompted, when we moved here. I still think it's a good idea,
I've been lonely for a long time. Thanks. I really needed this support

The council said they will phone us when they get a suitable puppy candidate.....

Chickenbird: I don't personally know any French Bulldogs, but from the little I have heard they seem to be great companion dogs, always happy to be around their humans and attentive, but they are not as attention-seeking as some other breeds. When a French Bulldog's humans have to take care of something else, the dog will usually take a nap or just lie down and keep an eye on what is going on. The size also sounds right for a beginner: easy to pick up and carry, but I'd say that French Bulldogs are more compact of build than many other breeds of their size and can deal with a little unintentional roughness quite well. (I always try not to treat our own dog roughly, but you know... Aspie clumsiness... sometimes I just happen to hold him too tightly or to stumble over him when he's asleep in the middle of the hall...)
I don't think that an ASD diagnosis would change whether a specific breed is suitable for somebody or not. Your personality was not changed by the diagnosis, after all, even if your perception of your personality may have been influenced by it.

quiet_photon: Every good relationship is two-sided, isn't it? In dogs and other pets some people just seem to overlook the fact that they get back something from an animal that is not even trained to provide any specific service to their humans. The two-sidedness is more obvious in "working" dogs like police dogs or assistance dogs, but even a simple pet dog can do a lot for the people around it by just being around and being a dog.

Pets can lower your blood pressure just by sitting with you - that's one reason for having cats in
reitrement homes.

Boy Fluffydog you sure do know your dogs

I just like the pseuso-wolves that go woof and share our lifes. I guess at some point reading up on the different dog breeds would have qualified as a special interest for me. Sometimes I even walk up to complete strangers who have a dog with them that I cannot properly classify or that looks like a member of a breed I am particularly interested in. I walk up to them and inititate conversation with them (about the dog of course). That's what the beasts do to you.
And it's just one of the awful, awful things a dog can do to humans. Most of them steal hearts before you even have a chance to realize what's going on and they don't even feel sorry about that in the least. Not to mention the way they put their heads on your knee and keep you from getting up and doing something more "important" then stroking them. Probably worst of all, they drag you out into the rain and cold several times a day and help you to improve your immune system's defenses. A dog will even keep you from catching a decent cold when all your happy. dog-free friends have one! (I really love dogs, but sometimes I just enjoy pretending that they are horrible little creatures...)