Do you have these issues?

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Hell I haven't even been up 30min. and 2 issues I have popped into my head and I was wondering if anyone else does this. At times lets say for example mom/dad/husband/wife (insert whomever) said tomorrow we are going shopping. Well you wake up tomorrow awake alert ready to go and mom is like I don't know we might not even go shopping. (Yet you were ready/psyched yourself TO GO) OR the opposite come on lets go (and you aren't ready) I also notice I say some things and expect a totally different response. For example I said "Honey Nut Cherrios??) Since the kids usually don't eat that cereal mom gave a rude YA answer. (I expected well she decided to eat that instead in a nice tone.) I guess expecting nice/niceness/nice tone is too much to ask of my parents/family. Oh well. I'm going to go on about my day and not let it get to me.

Gees, you made me think about it! I had never noticed it was something about my being an aspie. But you put it just in the right way. As people tell we are going to do something that is uncommon to our routine, we need to get our nerves prepared, so it gets to our nerves when they just cancel out the extenuous job we had to submit ourselves into accepting the routine break.

Exactly! Aspies like routine so we are already planning to go somewhere when the NT family member says NOPE decided to stay home today and yet you were up, dressed ready to go. I read somewhere in the Guide to Asperger's by Tony Attwood that discussed children with AS and it mention something about routine and that we are set to go somewhere etc. so saying "no" isn't understandable to us. It's kind of sad though I have so many traits it's kind of sad. My dropping stuff from the pill cabinet to find a bottle of pills mom says is me "going to fast" I say it's Aspie clumsiness. My parents don't understand AS oh well.

Yeah, I hate when something is planned or decided and then people change their mind at the last minute or circumstances change so that the plans have to be changed or cancelled. It's especially bad if it's something I've gotten excited about or have worked hard to get myself psyched for or have made some sacrifices to prepare for it and then it get cancelled because somebody else just "didn't feel like it".

I didn't really understand the second issue you mentioned, so I can't say if that's something I experience too.

I'll explain the second issue a little better. I said "Honey Nut Cherrios!" (Shocked since the 11 year old doesn't usually eat that brand of cereal.) Mom replied rudely YA! She's eating it. I would of liked/expected "Oh she decided to eat a different cereal today. So you expect one response but get a totally different respone from the other person than you expected. You expected you wife/girlfriend to be mad over something but she was nice or vice versa. I hope that explained it a little better.

Blown plans are a bad one for me... Sometimes I'll even want to follow through on a plan, even if it no longer makes sense to do so!

Charles

That is soooooooooooo true!


As far as tone goes, I found my mother and father's tone VERY VERY abrasive growing up. I know no that I was hyper sensitive to it. It still is hard for me to be around it and I hit my breaking point fast when I visit. It's overwhelming for me. I'm very unabrasive with my son as a result...firm but unabrasive. So far it's working.... and it's a good thing, because he's Autistic and I'm sure hyper sensitive as well.

Ok, now I get it. Thanks.

I have issues when I'm expecting a nice response and get a bad one instead. I sometimes think I'm doing someone a favor or doing something nice that will make them happy, grateful or amused, and if instead they get irritated, angry, upset or show some other negative response, I get upset and shocked, and in some cases even have a meltdown. This doesn't usually happen when it's the other way around, a better response than I was expecting. In such cases I'm just pleasantly surprised, but don't experience any issues related to it.

I tend to get upset too when people give me very negative responses to something I say or do even if I didn't have any particular expectation. It's just that most of the time I don't understand why people responded in the way they did. I often don't see anything about the situation that would prompt such a response, but obviously they see it differently.

Since i dont live with my mom and wouldnt even dream of ever doing so again, no i do not have that problem. If i want to do something the next day and decide not too, oh well. i just sleep in and forget about it

Yes, I´ve been known to do this too.

For weeks my mom has been getting on my nerves with telling me I need to come help her at the store then tells me at the last minute I don't need to go in at all despite arranging my whole schedule around that. It's incredibly annoying!

Ya!! !! I agree. Usually a negative when expecting a positive would automatically upset me into a meltdown I'd start tearing up and crying but the past few days I've been blocking my family out and interacting with them less. I've considered perhaps they "tire" me as social interactions are known to do that. I never gave that any thought until reading Tony Attwoods book Guide to Asperger's Syndrome.

When I was a child, it would send me into a full blown meltdown if my mother backed out of plans. I would not care why, and had no empathy for her if she was sick, tired, or didn't feel like doing what she had said. In my mind she told me we were going, to such and such a place, and that was what should have been happening. Now that I am a parent, I never make promises to my kids about going places unless I know I can keep them, or I prepare them for possible things that will interfere ahead of time.

I'm the same way. When my kids were younger, they would find out we were going on vacation as I was packing our things into the car. Something must have happened when I was younger to cause this (?) but if so, I can't recall it.

Yesyesyes that.

And often I can't function at all until an alternate plan is suggested that gets as close to the original plan as is feasible. And even then I'm uneasy waiting for them to cancel or change THAT plan as well.

Blown plans...

Last month I almost stopped eating because a dinner didn't go as planned. I eventually decided to do said dinner over correctly and most of my food problems effectively vanished.