I had the dream again...

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I have this recurring dream about meeting a girl. You all know how dreams can be, rather surreal with moments mixed in with oddities and it's all so Freudian.

This time I had what was perhaps the most real dream I had. It was so simple. I'm out with my friends going to grab dinner at this upscale shopping/restaurant district near where I live. The restaurant is crowded, though we get a booth. Perhaps we had a reservation. We all got up for some reason, it might've been to hang our coats. When we came back there were a couple of people, a couple of girls, sitting in our booth for some reason. But we all decided to share it, since our group was small.

I start chatting with one of the girls, who strongly resembled a person I met in real life at a theatre. In real life I gave her my business card and suggested we meet again. Of course she never called.

Anyways, this doppelganger in the dream and I start chatting. No idea what we talked about. The dream wasn't about that. It was about the fact that we were chatting at all. In my dreams I'm always very outgoing, engaging and even charismatic. I wonder if it's like the paraplegic who can walk in his dreams. In ours, we've regained was was taken from us, or what we never had, which in my case is the ability to connect with other people on a social, emotional, physical level.

Suddenly we're in a theatre. Not sure how we got there. This is the only surrealist element in the dream. I'm sitting next to the girl. I've got my hands in my lap, and as we're waiting for the previews to start, she REACHES over and grabs my hand, taking it in to hers. Her hand was SO SOFT. The dream was particularly vivid on this point. I swear I could feel my fingers interlacing with hers. In her eyes I saw warmth, compassion, and real attraction and desire. It is something I've never experienced in real life, which makes the dream both wonderful and incredibly sad.

The previews were about to start, and the lights were dimming. At this point, she said the only thing I can really remember from our conversation, which was, "Why don't I give you my number now?" She hands me a Post-It note, which appears blank on one side. On the other is her number (of course, the "number" was gibberish, since words and things don't translate in the dream world, because of the whole left brain right brain thing, but within the realm of the dream's logic, it functioned as her number).

And then I woke up.

I have dreams very close to what you described on almost a daily basis. I think it's interesting that they never involve actual sex, just the initial connection and the wonderful feeling you get.

I just assume it's your subconscious trying to compensate for unfulfilled needs/desires you're not getting IRL.

Try to enjoy them. No need to use them as an excuse for self-pity.

Maybe that's why you're generally happier than the rest of us. I rarely, if ever, get these dreams. You at least can reliably have the same experiences even if you actually are alone, boosting your own happiness level.

That makes sense.

Yeah, it does. I stopped having those dreams when I actually got phone numbers.

That's not it at all.

I am generally happier because I work very hard at it. I was once in your exact position, but I made up my mind to cast aside my pre-conceived ideas about myself and operate as if they didn't exist (even though they did).

I was *certain* that women didn't like me, mostly because I never made the effort to get to know any. Once I started to actually make the effort, my ideas about women completely changed because my conception of them before was entirely a figment of my own imagination. Then every time I get rejected, I can say to myself that is was because that *woman* didn't like me and I could keep on looking for one who does.

I still get rejected (usually very gently), in fact it's been 100% of the time lately, but I still have some promising leads and a determination to get this problem solved, but most of all it's because I refuse to allow myself to backslide into my old ways of thinking, because they were total bullish*t...

I think this is very prevalent amongst some Aspies, especially a few I interact with often on this board.