Doctor's Visits and Aspergers

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Hi all

I'm socially very competent in most areas of my life: popular at work, interview well (hypnotherapy: it's amazing), good relationship with my partner, but I have one major area where I can't deal - doctor visits. I was in and out of doctors as a child but my mother did most of the talking and I've never been diagnosed with aspergers. As an adult, I haven't been to doctors very often, and I don't currently have a regular one (I have a recommendation from a friend that I haven't followed up yet).

When I see doctors, I generally have a bit of a freak-out - talking too fast, breathing too fast etc. The last doctor I saw nearly refused to give me pain meds because he thought my reaction meant I had unrealistic expectations of what they would do. (The pain meds are unrelated - I can't take over-the-counter medication.)

Does anyone have any tips on how to acclimatize myself so I don't react like this? My best guess is that I've never seen anyone I can mimic in this situation. I'll need to see a doctor again soon - I need occasional sleeping pills and have been taking my partner's unused ones, which are nearly run out.

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Write what you want to say on paper or on your computer (and then print it out) and hand it to him/her. That simplifies things significantly. You can then always refer to what you've written and perhaps explain in the letter that you struggle to communicate directly. Thus, you needn't say much beyond nodding and shaking of the head on you've handed them the letter because then they'll hopefully be expecting your communication to be limited, which it appears to be in this context.

I also have a problem visiting the doctor, mostely because i'm a time snob. and doctors are never on time!!

I have as much as possible on paper, too. I had a nurse call it "White Coat syndrome" when I explained my blood pressure and pulse were always higher at the office than at home.

I've found that having a regular doctor decreases the effects, though. I went through three primary care docs last year, and it was torture each time. Now that I have one again, it's easier to go.

do you get artificially high blood pressure readings when at the doctors office? there is actually something called white coat hypertension that results in high bp readings at the doctors office when someone usually has normal bp. its basically just an anxiety reaction, and seems that the fast breathing/talking would be similar as those are signs of stress.

like herbeey suggested, write out any questions or things you want to share. take a friend along. practice meditation or hypnotherapy exercises. let them know up front that you get anxiety reactions so they can take that into account.

my SO also doesnt do doctors. we've been together 12 years, in that time hes seen the doctor 3 times, and all 3 times have been in the last two months. once was to get a referral to a neuropsych for autism evaluation, and twice because he got a bacterial bronchial infection and couldnt breathe. his neuropsych appt is tomorrow and he is highly stressed about it.

you can see if your partner can go with you if it helps keep you calm. i attend all of my SO's appts, am listed as his preferred contact, and he signed permission for them to discuss all his health care with me. that way he never has to deal with making appts or answering when they call, both of which he simply wont/cant do. if i dont go with him, he wont even make it out of the car.

OMG I hope this thread goes on and on and on and on. I cannot stand to go to the doctor, dentist, hair stylist or anyone who gets near me. I can't stand anyone's face near me I don't adore..lol. I wish I could explain the torture I go through to get through it, the days I think about any of these things before I can go. It is like being tied down and tortured. Their touch is like a burning iron. I need a doctor for AS people but there are NO -- AS doctors for adults. It was ok when I was a kid, doctors and dentists would chase me around and I took sissors to my own hair, lol. I am almost at the point I am going to look for doctors/dentists/hairstylists that work with low functioning mentally ret*d adults. This is my ugly little secret only my SOs and my family knows. I actually do hide so much of my AS from the everyday world. I blend in well where I work, just a geek among all the other geeks that barely button their shirts up correctly. People honestly don't notice that which is not affecting them, or for that matter, care about it either..especially if there are cookies around.

Please post if you have found a way to deal with this...like a doctor who won't come near me for the first 10 visits.

Thanks everyone. And please keep responses coming - the more the better. This is all very appreciated.

I probably wouldn't be able to visit the doctor at all without somebody going with me. I can't speak there. The openness of the waiting room scares me. I'd be more okay with it if it weren't for the undetermined waiting time in the little room which is Hell for me.

Seems like a relatively simple phobia type of thing... If you visited doctors often, would you be able to get used to it?

My college has this service where you can get weekly blood pressure checks with a properly calibrated instrument--you go to the health clinic for it--maybe that would help you get used to the environment and such, if you could find a way to visit a doctor's office regularly without paying too much for it... Maybe not actually talk to a doctor, but if the environment gets familiar, maybe it'll get easier?

You can do both. You can write something out and go with a significant other. And keep the written thing short, like one half of one side of a piece of paper, three main points and that's it.

And that's why you need a doctor you can halfway talk with (doctors tend not to be great listeners and are often highly pressed for time, so 'halfway talk with' is about the most you can expect!)

yeah, something like a broncial infection, might come back a second or third time. You need a doctor you can get on the phone promptly to get a refill of antibiotics. Or, hit it with one broadband antibiotic. If that doesn't work hit it with another. I used to think that was bad medicine. But I've come around, that's actually good medicine. The trying something, getting feedback, adjusting from there, that ping-ponging back and forth is actually pretty good. It's when a doctor loses patience and stops doing this, that you have a lower chance of things working out well. Or, influenza (common flu) can occasionally, occasionally cause direct viral pneumonia, in which case you need Tamiflu or something equivalent (an antiviral). It gets complicated, which is why you need someone you can kind of talk with in the first place.

And the neuropsych, wow. almost like the old days of a priest on high telling you the status of your soul! Doctors don't know everything. And Asperger's is a constellation of symptoms, some things causing more issues, some less. And depending on the situation, what is a 'weakness' can be a strength, like two sides of a coin. You know all this of course, but this might be a time to gently remind your significant other of some of this.

Disclaimer: NOT A DOCTOR. (influenza is one of my recent interests)

Just to show that we are all different. In the old days when a shoe salesman would press his thumb right before your big toe, I rather liked that. Maybe just that aspect of human touch. Or maybe that it was entirely predictable. You could see them placing their thumb enough time before they then pressed. And the shoe leather rather protected me from too much touch.

What I don't like is a hair cutting place where the stylist bends down my ears. I have tried explaining 'ears stiffer than normal' (which may or may not be true, but as a way for them to get it), 'sensitive ears,' 'please do not bend down my ears,' and they don't seem to get it!

I hate doctors, mostly. Those that have state of the art knowledge unaffordable to me and those that have a contract with the insurance in this country chase you through their office in about 4 minutes (yes, i measured this one).
I have learned that my symptoms get discounted, in whichever way I tell them, so I tried to go the "only show them labwork" solution, but it seems they don't really read that either.

I have always wished for someone to go with me that is good with communicating and backing up my side. I can somehow do it for other people, but once it's about me it's over, I start stimming or mutism kicks in and I just happen to be in shock due to their maltreatment or not answering my questions.
Additionally,GP's in my country have extra offers such as accupuncutre and homeopathy which imo is nothing but quackery.
I've had severe malpractice happen to me in the past without getting any bloodwork and thus I didn't know for years that I had Hashimoto's (an autoimmune disease). I wish their was a quicker way to report malpractice than per lawsuit.

Plus I would love to see a hidden camera documentary about AS people in comparison to NT's going to doctors with similar conditions and then filming the outcome of such doctors' visits.